Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Nanny Bans Tomato Ketchup

KetchupOh dear, Nanny really is keen to take the joy out of childhood.

The "little rascals" of Caister in Norfolk have been banned by police from buying ketchup (or is it catsup? What is the difference?)

It seems that some wee rascals have been spraying cars and houses with it. Nanny therefore has instructed shops not to sell squirty bottles to kids.

In the great scheme of things, is it such an evil act to squirt ketchup over things?

Wouldn't it be far worse if they were using spray paint, or shooting each other?

Sometimes a little bit of naughtiness needs to come out of the system.

Needless to say, Nanny has also banned egg sales in this town as well!

Let the kids behave like prats once in a while!

11 comments:

  1. It seems sinister to me that Nanny, be it local Government Nanny or Police Nanny, can dictate to small shop keepers, what they can and can't sell in their shops and to whom.

    Surely eggs and tomato sauce are perfectly legal items to stock and sell, they are not controlled substances, they are not covered by alcohol licensing laws, they are not tobacco products, they are not hazadous substances, so how can this ban diktat be justified and what would happen if the shopkeeper ignored Nanny's diktat and sold the said items to youngsters?

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  2. Anonymous1:06 PM

    OK, so now what do the little untouchables do to amuse themselves?

    Nick a car and drive to the nearest place that will sell them (or allow them to steal) ketchup?

    Perhaps we should ban plastic ketchup bottles and require manufacturers to supply only in glass bottles.

    On the other hand of the kids are constantly finding things to play with that keep them one step ahead of Nanny's bans I have to take my hat off to them for their combative spirit, something most of us seem to lack these days.


    Grant

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  3. Anonymous3:21 PM

    what about H.P sauce? (or any brown sauce for that matter) salad cream? Mayonnaise? Even gravy....ban the lot I say, we can put up with dry food if it means someone does not have to spend a whole minute wiping gloopy sauce from their car

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  4. grumpy3:25 PM

    tonk,
    under NuLab law, surely EVERYTHING can be classified as, "...hazardous substances...".
    Remember that Tomato ketchup contains both salt and sugar(Oh Dear!) and vinegar (a known corrosive substance) so to ban its sale to minors not only protects the motorist's paintwork, but also means that the kids cannot accidentally ingest this toxic product and suddenly become obese or asthmatic - or whatever. So, clearly, Nanny is both morally and legally obliged to stop this trafficking.

    Of course, since no-one can now afford to drive their cars, many of them will be left unattended in places where they will become targets for the TK vandals. What will Nanny do about THIS I wonder?

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  5. Grumpy:

    Thanks for putting me right on the matter.
    I did not see the dangers but now, I see.

    I must stp being so quick to judge Nanny so harshly when she only has my best interests at heart:-)

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  6. Sir Henry Morgan5:39 PM

    Anyone remember the big gobfulls of black spit that could be generated when chewing Blacjacks? And the serious uncleanable mess you could make with said spit on the sides of buildings (no constable, it wasn't me that did that old breeze block bus shelter, as I told you at the time. What? Still don't believe me?).

    Just thinking is all .... walks away with a casual whistle ...

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  7. Defuz5:44 PM

    Nanny didn't go far enough. Who gave the naughty little kiddies money? Surely they should have been ticketed too. When running away, which brand of shoes did they run in? Ban the shoes too. Let the little buggers run barefoot if they insist on turning society upside down so savagely. Nanny is just getting warmed up. Good for nanny!

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  8. Anonymous7:48 PM

    Anonymous grumpy said...

    " tonk,
    under NuLab law, surely EVERYTHING can be classified as, "...hazardous substances...".
    Remember that Tomato ketchup contains both salt and sugar(Oh Dear!) and vinegar (a known corrosive substance) so to ban its sale to minors not only protects the motorist's paintwork, but also means that the kids cannot accidentally ingest this toxic product and suddenly become obese or asthmatic - or whatever. So, clearly, Nanny is both morally and legally obliged to stop this trafficking."

    Ah, yes, but ....

    I believe there is peer reviewed 'science' that claims that the health benefits of tomato when processed for ketchup is higher than that for a plain ordinary (or even an organic) tomato. This there would seem to be no danger to the wee mites, though one could charge them with wasting a valuable health supplement. (What do you mean 'that one is not on the books yet? What caused the delay?)

    As to where the kids get the money - well, I would suspect the Latvian 'Clean your car for a fiver' industry that seems to have sprung up throughout the UK in recent months. Hand over a few pence to buy a cheap ketchup and in return see six or seven irate shoppers wishing to get their car cleaned. Is it really co-incidence that my local Tesco has kitted out a substantial section of their (under building) car park as a car wash station? I think not!


    Grant

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  9. Anonymous11:45 PM

    Why NKB are you on the side of the yobs ?

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  10. archroy9:19 AM

    Anonymous - tomato ketchup is supposed to be helpful in preventing testicular cancer, although whether you're supposed to eat it or squirt it on the relevant parts, I'm not sure

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  11. grumpy4:00 PM

    anon.11:45
    it's not being on the side of the yobs - it's being against Nanny's increasingly surreal interpretation of what governments are for.

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