As we face the onset of yet another wet and windy British Autumn, the trees are beginning to shed their leaves.
The solution to this obvious health and safety risk?
Errm...sweep up the leaves?
Yes, but only if you are a specially trained Nanny professional.
The good people of Blakenall have discovered that the "simple" task of sweeping up their own leaves, and placing them into garden recycling bins, is fraught with hazards.
This action contravenes Walsall Council's policy wrt leaves. Seemingly the local binmen have told the residents to stop sweeping up the leaves, because its "against the rules".
Nanny's rules are documented in some publication entitled "Street Pride" (what has a leaves policy got to do with a gay festival?), anyhoo it seems that Nanny forbids leaves from the highway being placed into brown bins.
The danger of "contamination".
Those who break Nanny's rules...yes, you've guessed what comes next.. face a fine of up to £1K.
Ker Farking Ching!
Now here's where it gets really confusing, council guidelines state that grass cuttings, tree and shrub prunings, old plants and flowers, hedge clippings, weeds and leaves from residents' own gardens can be put into brown bins.
Needless to say, now that the media have got involved, the council have realised they look like prats and council leader Mike Bird has called for a common sense approach.
Why do councils only remember "commonsense" when they have been under the glare of embarrassing publicity?
It's all bollocks anyway. Some refuse around the country, carefully separated by taxpayers, is simply mixed up again and shipped off to India to be dumped in a landfill.
Councils are perpetrating a money making con on their local taxpayers wrt the rules about waste separation.
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts