Welsh Nanny Bans E Fags

I see that Welsh Nanny has decided to ban people using e fags in enclosed spaces (including lorries and taxis) as from 2017.

Based on no scientific evidence whatsoever, Nanny has decided that the sight of someone wafting on a vap (I believe that to be the term for it) in an enclosed space may encourage kids to smoke real fags.

I think that is utter bollocks, given that an e fag looks nothing like a real fag!

More to the point, what have the dimensions of the space in which you vap got to do with the likelihood of a kid deciding to start smoking real fags?

It is ridiculous and unenforceable!

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Nanny Bans Pleasure

Nanny's best friend Theresa May has decided that we are all enjoying ourselves far too much, and wants to put a stop to it.

Her particular ire is targeted thusfar against so called "legal highs", which are chemical concoctions designed to produce similar effects to illegal substances.

Nanny has, over the past few years, been merrily banning these as soon as they hit the market. However, no sooner as one ban is put in place another variation on a substance is devised and sold perfectly legally.

Thus Nanny May is having no more of it and, despite there being no credible scientific research whatsoever about the dangers or otherwise of these substances, she has decided to push through a bill that bans them all (irrespective of whether they have been invented yet).

How can you ban something that has yet to be created?

Simples!

You ban ALL substances that are "psychoactive substances" (ones that give you pleasure, for want of a better word).

There is a wee problem with the proposed legislation.

It is in fact the worst piece of legislation (technically and ethically) ever drafted by any government in living memory.

For why?

Well did you know that tea, coffee, nuts, scented pillows etc all come under psychoactive substances?

Yes they do!

Thus there are (for the moment) exemptions eg alcohol (as long as it contains no other psychoactive substances), nicotine, tobacco and caffeine are “exempt substances”, as are medicinal products. However,  the bill appears to render the production of any new psychoactive drug for research purposes unlawful.

Additionally, butane gas, petrol, glue etc are not on the list of exemptions; despite the fact these are used by some people to get high.

Oh and the legality of efags (designed to weane you off real fags) is also questionable.

Thus the bill is pile of old shite!

I had expected this sort of bollocks from a coalition of Labour and the Scottish Nazi Party (had they won the election), but not from a Tory majority government with more pressing issues to focus on.

What the fark are May and her bill drafters on?

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Her Majesty is Not Dead

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Auntie Farks It Up Big Time

It appears that Auntie has inadvertently, and incorrectly, tweeted an announcement about the demise of Her Majesty.

Auntie is expected to issue an announcement shortly explaining her fark up!

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Lancashire County Council's Nice Little Earner

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to the absurd nonsense perpetrated by Lancashire County Council, wrt newly painted double yellow lines.

James Callan and his partner Lauren live in a 1995 built house with a driveway, that does not have a dropped pavement outside.

For reasons that are unfathomable, council workers decided to paint some double yellow lines outside their driveway recently.

Problem?

Yes!

Apparently everytime the couple park their car in their own driveway they now face a fine of £1,000.

They have been told they are breaking the law by using the driveway as it is inside the yellow lines, and by attempting to drive on or off their own land they will be making an illegal "vehicle crossing".

 

Ker Farking Ching!

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Prats of The Week - Peta

Oh dear how sad to see that there is no end to the prattery of some organisations.

Step forward Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) who have decided that a pub founded in the eighth century in St Albans has a name that is very uncool for the 21st century, and which Peta want banned.

Peta want Ye Olde Fighting Cocks to be renamed Ye Olde Clever Cocks to "reflect compassion for animals". Cue complaints about sexism!

Peta director Mimi Bekhechi is quoted by the Telegraph:

"Changing the name would reflect today's rejection of needless violence and help celebrate chickens as the intelligent, sensitive and social animals they are.

Today, kind people are appalled by the thought of forcing birds to fight to the death and more people than ever are making the compassionate choice not to eat chickens, either." 

That has of course got fark all to do with the name of a pub!

There are surely enough real issues wrt actual cruelty to animals that Peta should be devoting its time and money on, not this absurd waste of time.

Peta, well deserving Prats of The Week!


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