The Dangers Posed To Aircraft By Pubs

Nanny has some very strange notions at times; however, this particular notion of her's counts as her daftest.

Seemingly Nanny has got it into her warped and twisted old head that pubs constitute a threat to the safety of aircraft.

What???

Are you drunk Ken?

No, sadly I am not.

I will elaborate.

Nanny, you will recall, has decided to allow pubs and clubs to apply for licensees to extend their 11pm closing.

As with anything that Nanny does, she cannot resist placing a whopping great caveat on her seemingly "open minded and kind hearted" gesture.

Pubs and clubs that wish to apply for an extension in their opening hours, have to complete a particularly long winded and bureaucratic form. In fact, they have to submit over 200 papers.

Within this pile of paperwork the hapless licensee has to provide a number of details, that to any normal person would seem irrelevant and daft. However, as we all know, Nanny reserves the right to obtain details on the very minutiae of our lives; that is the way that she maintains her control over us.

Anyhoo, in this particular case she has stipulated that the following "issues" need to be complied with; before she will even accept an application for an extension:

• Pubs and clubs must submit a risk assessment of the lighting in their premises, to ensure that it does not threaten aircraft. You will of course be aware that many pubs in Britain have been around for well over 100 years, I do not recall many aircraft nosediving into any in that time.



• Publicans must provide an analysis of the houses and premises that their customers pass, when they make their way home.



• Publicans have been told that if a customer becomes drunk and disorderly, they cannot throw him/her out onto the street as is now the case. Presumably Nanny feels that confining an unruly customer, in a confined and crowed pub, is safer than allowing him/her to get outside and get some air?



• Landlords must submit a plan of their premises, even though they will have already submitted such a plan before.



• Eleven copies of the application must be made.

These daft rules demonstrate Nanny's mindset, she is a dangerous control freak who has no intention of relinquishing power.