Nanny's Fruit Phobia

Nanny is very worried about security matters these days; she spends many a sleepless night, tossing and turning in her bed, thinking through the "worst case scenarios" that may befall her and her "charges".

In view of the many "perceived threats" to her person, she has been trying to institute a number of safeguards eg; control orders, id cards, ASBO's and the like.

However, things have been really getting Nanny down recently; inevitably this has had an effect on her "risk awareness matrix".

She has now developed a genuine, and pathological fear, of fruit.

As such, the mere sight of a banana or apple will send her rushing for cover under the table.

As for cumquats, well don't even get me started on what they do to her.

Anyhoo, Nanny has decided that fruit is now persona no grata in her presence.

The new anti fruit ruling was implemented at Nanny's party conference in Wales this weekend. Security forces were under strict orders to prevent fruit being brought into the conference hall.

However, some did try to bring some in. The BBC have reported that at least three apples and one banana were detained at the entrance to the hall.

I kid you not!