Nanny Bans Gardening

Oxford council likes to think of itself as being a good council, all councils have this delusion.

However, they take particular pride in their work in making the community a better place to live in. Indeed, they have even set up a Crime and Nuisance Action Team (CANAcT).

This body seeks out those who would destroy the harmony of the community.

One such person that CANAcT identified as being a clear and present danger to the harmony of Oxford was Malcolm Everton.

Mr Everton lives in a small development of sheltered housing.

Now I can hear you asking what has Mr Everton been up to, that has brought him to the attention of the CANAcT team?

I will tell you, Mr Everton's crime is that of gardening.

Yes, gardening!

Mr Everton became fed up with the dismal conditions of the communal areas of his housing project. He therefore decided to use his initiative and skills, and brighten the place up by doing some gardening.

Now you can see where he went wrong.

You see, in order for Nanny to maintain her control over us she cannot allow people to think for themselves or to act on their own initiative.

Mr Everton has been busy over the past few months; tending plants, clearing weeds, maintaining hanging baskets, cutting grass etc.

This work has been done for free I would add.

Nanny's chums in CANAcT were not amused at this selfless display of initiative and action. They have issued Mr Everton with a notice banning him from:

- mowing the lawn
- making compost
- having bonfires
- painting doors
- growing vegetables

He must also gain approval, in writing, for any future activities.

There was a general uproar from the residents when they heard of this daft ban. Not unreasonably people pointed out that the council ought to be more concerned with weeding out social scum, rather than weeding out a weeder of lawns.

This uproar has not impressed Nanny.

Her spokesman from the council noted that the investigation into Mr Everton's activities have been lengthy and expensive (remember it is the taxpayer who pays though), and that there is a health and safety issue at stake here.

Morons!

The locals each pay £2K a year in council tax; I am sure that they feel that their money is well spent.

Not!