Dear old Nanny has something of a thing for our small furry friends, as evidenced yesterday by her Pussy Protection Charter.
Anyhoo, now Nanny has issued an edict banning owls.
This may at first sight seen to be a somewhat contradictory to her animals first policy. However, have no fear, the owl ban is only effective against wooden owls.
Shall I go on?
Or is this really now getting a bit too surreal?
It certainly is for Jeannette Dicks, who owns the wooden owl.
Jeannette, from Oakley in Hampshire, has been having something of a problem with pigeons. Not the sort that wander around Trafalgar Square, but the sort owned by her neighbour Peter Campbell.
Campbell, for reasons best known to himself, chooses to house 42 racing pigeons in the garden of his home in a residential area.
Needless to say, the birds need to go out and have a bit of a flap in the air every day. No problem, if you don't live under their flight path. Unfortunately Jeannette does, and consequently is on the receiving end of their "doings".
Now some people, who dislike these flying crap buckets, would have tried to shoot them or poison them or indeed set a few cats in amongst them. Jeannette is not that cruel, instead she planted a pole in her garden and topped it with an ornamental, but credible, model of an eagle owl.
Eagle owls eat pigeons, aha!
Now the pigeons, naturally, have changed their flight path; Campbell is complaining that the change in flight path means that they take 2 hours to come home.
Being a good citizen of Nanny Britain, instead of accepting the fact that it is a selfish act to keep 42 birds in a residential area, he decided to call the police...six times!
For their part, the police used their brains and ignored this daft complaint.
Unfortunately, Campbell then realised that the council would of course not use their brains, and contacted the antisocial behaviour co-ordinator at Basingstoke council. Campbell was advised to log all anti-pigeon behaviour.
Basingstoke council confirmed that their top ASBO man was on the case:
"We take all reports of anti social behaviour and harassment
and will advise and investigate where necessary."
There is now a very real threat of an ASBO being issued to Jeannette, in other words Nanny has taken the side of the selfish git.
Seemingly Campbell is not finished, he intends to breed another 50 pigeons this summer.
But let us not forget that this episode has been "stressful" for him too, he has consulted a doctor who has prescribed him a course of anti depressants.