Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Nanny Bans Owls

Nanny Bans OwlsDear old Nanny has something of a thing for our small furry friends, as evidenced yesterday by her Pussy Protection Charter.

Anyhoo, now Nanny has issued an edict banning owls.

This may at first sight seen to be a somewhat contradictory to her animals first policy. However, have no fear, the owl ban is only effective against wooden owls.

Shall I go on?

Or is this really now getting a bit too surreal?

It certainly is for Jeannette Dicks, who owns the wooden owl.

Jeannette, from Oakley in Hampshire, has been having something of a problem with pigeons. Not the sort that wander around Trafalgar Square, but the sort owned by her neighbour Peter Campbell.

Campbell, for reasons best known to himself, chooses to house 42 racing pigeons in the garden of his home in a residential area.

Needless to say, the birds need to go out and have a bit of a flap in the air every day. No problem, if you don't live under their flight path. Unfortunately Jeannette does, and consequently is on the receiving end of their "doings".

Now some people, who dislike these flying crap buckets, would have tried to shoot them or poison them or indeed set a few cats in amongst them. Jeannette is not that cruel, instead she planted a pole in her garden and topped it with an ornamental, but credible, model of an eagle owl.

Eagle owls eat pigeons, aha!

Now the pigeons, naturally, have changed their flight path; Campbell is complaining that the change in flight path means that they take 2 hours to come home.

Being a good citizen of Nanny Britain, instead of accepting the fact that it is a selfish act to keep 42 birds in a residential area, he decided to call the police...six times!

For their part, the police used their brains and ignored this daft complaint.

Unfortunately, Campbell then realised that the council would of course not use their brains, and contacted the antisocial behaviour co-ordinator at Basingstoke council. Campbell was advised to log all anti-pigeon behaviour.

Basingstoke council confirmed that their top ASBO man was on the case:

"We take all reports of anti social behaviour and harassment

seriously

and will advise and investigate where necessary
."

There is now a very real threat of an ASBO being issued to Jeannette, in other words Nanny has taken the side of the selfish git.

Seemingly Campbell is not finished, he intends to breed another 50 pigeons this summer.

But let us not forget that this episode has been "stressful" for him too, he has consulted a doctor who has prescribed him a course of anti depressants.

Pathetic!

11 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:07 AM

    Brain
    Council
    Dead

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd rather have 42 owls in the garden than 42 disgusting flying rats.
    How on earth can this be construed as "anti social"?
    She'd have been better off just quietly poisoning the things.
    Or putting in a counter claim to the council for stress, along with a bill to Mr Moron for her yard cleaning.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Perhaps avian flu will provide an solution?

    ReplyDelete
  4. pauline10:27 AM

    Pigeon pie anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12:03 PM

    If the council persist she should file a counter complaint - 42 pigeons have got to be 42 times more anti social than one owl I would have thought? To be consistent they would have to ban both sorts of bird or neither....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Perhaps she should purchase or hire a real bird of prey and let it go about it's business.

    Alternatively, there are more than predators that pigeons don't like. Some smells, fox noises at night.

    Or, perhaps bread or other foodstuffs on the garden and an air rifle, while they are still legal that is.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous9:30 PM

    Golly if Leeds City Council gets the wind of this story, feathers will fly!

    Leeds CC are totally obsessed with Owl symbolism. Owls are everywhere From council letterheads to school logos. Golden owls can be seen on gaurd duty outside the civic hall. Interestingly they are also anti pigeon.

    What will nanny do ?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous1:32 AM

    It is well known that pigeons use the earth's magnetic field to navigate.

    Running a large coil from the mains to generate an interfering field will hopefully be sufficient to steer the little buggers away from her house - and possibly away from the district completely!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous4:43 PM

    Easy solution: hook up with the local falconers association. Spread seed. Wait till falcons are feeling hungry.

    Second solution. Start spreading seed in the garden, acquire bird netting, go bird fishing. Make pigeon pie, offer to share the delicious and inexpensive result.

    Third solution: Don;t make pie, impale pigeon heads on sticks along front walk. "Pour encourager les autres"

    Fourth solution: Keep calling in to report dead pigeons due to H5N avain flu. The keeper is covering it up, wot?


    Fifth solution: Time to poison the feed. Do your own research.


    I haven't begun to shoot the little aerial rodents yet. But if you do with an airgun, ( this being britain) head shots are de rigeur, all those damn feathers are good padding.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous6:59 PM

    Why not write to the brainless morons (perhaps a number of times, to make sure they get your message)and ask them why they are so stupid. Their email address is info@basingstoke.gov.uk

    ReplyDelete
  11. John Rimmer7:17 PM

    I did email some Basingstoke councillors (they have a very user-friendly website) and perhaps they're not as barmy as they seem. Here's the reply I got from the community safety team (presumably the ASBO-meisters):

    "Dear Sir,

    None of the comments in the email/web blog in questions are correct.

    Complaints have been made to both the Council and Police by both parties in this case.

    The "ASBO man" referred to is in fact Councillor Keating who in commenting for the Borough was described as 'the top ASBO man' by the Times Newspaper. ASBO's are not under discussion.

    It is entirely proper that the pigeon keeper is allowed to keep his birds and the Borough has found no cause for complaint as per public health and sanitation concerns (Environmental Health). Racing Pigeons are protected species and anyone who takes action to cause them harm could be committing an offence.

    The role of the Community Safety team in this matter has been in faciliting initial contact with the Mediation team and co-ordinating information with the Parish, Police and Internal Departments. Both parties have been referred to mediation and have consented to taking part in this process. If mediation fails the matter is regarded as entirely private and for residents to resolve.

    I hope it answers your query."

    A couple of the councillors also seemed pretty miffed by the way the case was reported and said that the matter was not something the council was concerned about. So it looks as though the journos may have been putting a bit of spin on the story.

    ReplyDelete