That at least is the new revised version of Shakespeare, if Nanny and her chums get their way.
It seems that, following an enquiry into abuse by a South Wales drama teacher, Nanny is worried that love scenes in school plays may pose a threat pupils' safety. Therefore, as with all threats, Nanny seeks to ban what she doesn't like or understand.
Teachers are worried that daft (sorry, I mean draft) guidelines published in Wales, under the remit of the Welsh Children's Commissioner Clywch inquiry, will mean that plays such as Romeo and Juliet would have kissing banned and lose their meaning.
However, Nanny's Welsh Assembly Government has insisted that it would not ban kissing.
The Clywch inquiry came about as a result of the death of John Owen, who taught at the Welsh-medium secondary school Ysgol Gyfun Rhydfelen in Pontypridd. He was found dead, a day before he was to stand trial for child abuse in October 2001.
The report by Children's Commissioner for Wales, Peter Clarke, said that drama teachers needed to "consider carefully what gestures and movements are appropriate to communicate the emotion" and "what gestures and movements are acceptable."
"For example, many learners are uncomfortable with kissing in performance because of the physical intimacy that it entails.
In most cases, a peck on the cheek or an embrace can communicate the required emotion".
Mr Clarke's deputy, Sara Reid, said that the media coverage of the draft guidance had been "unhelpful", as it had a "misleading interpretation".
Meaning that the media had picked up what Nanny probably wants to do, but now can't because the cat is out of the bag.
Margaret Higgins, of the National Association for the Teaching of Drama said:
"You can't just cut out scenes like the kiss in Romeo and Juliet.
It is a crucial moment.
If this isn't fit subject matter for children, perhaps they should put on EastEnders after the watershed."
Banning EastEnders would certainly improve the intellectual development of this nation at a stroke. However, it is shows like EastEnders that keep the population docile; it ensures that the population does not start to think, or ask too many hard questions of the political elite.