I have been writing articles for this site for a little over two years now, and as such I have seen some truly absurd edicts emanating from the darkest recesses of Nanny's troubled and tortured mind.
However, sometimes even Nanny out Nanny's herself as for example in this particular case.
Nanny's chums in Worcester City Council have got themselves in a right old state over pears.
It seems that in Nanny's view, pears falling from trees present a clear and present danger to the good citizens of Worcester.
Amazing isn't it?
As such the City Council has fenced off two trees in Cripplegate Park, and put up signs warning people:
Watch out for falling pears!
Nanny says that the precaution has been taken to stop anyone being hurt.
Nanny has also surrounded the trees with red and white tape, and a plastic barrier has been set up to prevent anyone walking directly under the pears.
Ian Yates, parks and cemeteries manager for Worcester City Council, said he was surprised by the fuss; seemingly the signs were also put up last year, after a member of the public (clearly a knobhead) requested them.
He said, with a straight face:
"If we felled the trees or closed the park I would understand the concern,
but this is an adequate response.
It's a smashing year for very leafy fruits
and there are some sizeable pears (ooh err madam..cue the double entendre)
and not everyone is going to be passing thinking that a pear might fall on them, especially children.
These signs divert people away from the danger."
I wonder if Newton sued the orchard owner when the apple fell on his head?
How pathetic this country has become.
Mankind has survived for 150,000 years with pears falling willy nilly (can I say willy nilly), without the need for a warning sign.
Meanwhile Nanny has engineered a situation whereby Iraqi civilians are being killed (estimates vary from 30,000 to 600,000 in total), not by pears I might add!
OOH!..A little bit of politics...OOH!
We are truly mad.