I have been writing articles for this site for a little over two years now, and as such I have seen some truly absurd edicts emanating from the darkest recesses of Nanny's troubled and tortured mind.However, sometimes even Nanny out Nanny's herself as for example in this particular case.
Nanny's chums in Worcester City Council have got themselves in a right old state over pears.
Yes, pears!
It seems that in Nanny's view, pears falling from trees present a clear and present danger to the good citizens of Worcester.
Amazing isn't it?
As such the City Council has fenced off two trees in Cripplegate Park, and put up signs warning people:
Watch out for falling pears!
Nanny says that the precaution has been taken to stop anyone being hurt.
Nanny has also surrounded the trees with red and white tape, and a plastic barrier has been set up to prevent anyone walking directly under the pears.
Ian Yates, parks and cemeteries manager for Worcester City Council, said he was surprised by the fuss; seemingly the signs were also put up last year, after a member of the public (clearly a knobhead) requested them.
He said, with a straight face:
"If we felled the trees or closed the park I would understand the concern,
but this is an adequate response.
It's a smashing year for very leafy fruits
and there are some sizeable pears (ooh err madam..cue the double entendre)
and not everyone is going to be passing thinking that a pear might fall on them, especially children.
These signs divert people away from the danger."
Pillock!
I wonder if Newton sued the orchard owner when the apple fell on his head?
How pathetic this country has become.
Mankind has survived for 150,000 years with pears falling willy nilly (can I say willy nilly), without the need for a warning sign.
Meanwhile Nanny has engineered a situation whereby Iraqi civilians are being killed (estimates vary from 30,000 to 600,000 in total), not by pears I might add!
OOH!..A little bit of politics...OOH!
We are truly mad.
Ken wrote:
ReplyDelete"Meanwhile Nanny has engineered a situation whereby Iraqi civilians are being killed (estimates vary from 30,000 to 600,000 in total), not by pears I might add!"
I'm sure BAE systems are investigating the use of pears as tactical munitions in their ethical weapons programme even as we speak.
However, as someone who has gone through life having been hit by numerous falling fruit (mainly caused by my young self shaking the branches of the tree to get at the bounty thoughtfully provided by mother nature and a local farmer), nuts and the occasional misfortunate squirrel I can honestly say I have suffered no lasting damage. Anyhow, being struck by a falling pear gives one an appreciation of gravity, something which is probably missing from todays dumbed down 'science' lessons.
A letter in the Daily Mail today, form a Health and Safety manager in the North West iirc, points out that some of the more preposterous actions are related to our alleged willingness to sue at the drop of a, er, fruit or nut.
ReplyDeleteWhich means the insurance companies get fidgety and the cost of policies goes up and so organisations perceive potentially higher levels of cost risk in low risk and very defendable situations. So they give in.
We all, as society, pay for it in the end - well, unless one is also on the receiving side rather than the giving side.
Obviously there not yet enough ambulance chasers in Iraq to encourage a rethink on the approach there. Probably a good thing as costs would likely escalate beyond the current levels with no progress towards resolution.
Externally manufactured countries like Iraq need strong leaders if they are to exist. Unfortunately most likely candidates will, whatever their political or religious leanings, tend to operate rather like Saddam.
I see reported today that there is a chap in the Army who is prepared to stick his head well above the political parapet. That might get quite interesting as the story develops.
Grant - exporting all the ambulance chasers to Iraq sounds like an excellent suggestion!
ReplyDeleteA chap in the army?
ReplyDeleteHe's Chief of Staff, and in charge of it!
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/politics/article1868137.ece
>> I wonder if Newton sued the orchard owner when the apple fell on his head?
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the orchard owner sued Newton over the violation of IP rights?
"Fenced of two trees in Cripplegate"
ReplyDeleteCan you say that? Surely Differentlyabledgate.