Nanny has such an obsession with health and safety that it really ties her in knots when she tries to interact with the real world.
She can't get it through her head that you cannot eliminate risk.
Take for example the care of the elderly, and Nanny's home carers who visit the homes of the elderly to help them out with chores, provide basic home help and to see that they are alright.
Edna East, a 99 year old great grandmother, who is all of 4ft 9ins tall and weighing in at around 7 stone relies on the visit of carers for general chores and for helping supervise her climb up the stairs.
Nanny has now put her nose into this, and decided that helping to supervise a 4ft 9ins, 7 stone, elderly lady up the stirs presents too great a threat to the health and safety of the carers.
Seemingly, there is a risk that someone might fall down the stairs.
As such, she has banned the carers from helping supervise Mrs East up the stairs.
There is of course a risk that she might fall down the stairs, but there is a risk that I might fall down the stairs today too..what am I meant to do about that then?
Nanny has told Edna, and her relatives, that they must instead spend money on a stair lift. This of course could, under extreme circumstances catch fire, collapse etc; ie there is still a risk of injury.
Why then has Nanny issued this edict?
Simple, she wants to offload the risk and responsibility onto someone else. In other words, she doesn't actually care for the health or well being of Mrs East; Nanny only cares about herself, Nanny is callous and cold.
Suzanne Singer, Mrs East's daughter, who looks after Mrs East at her home, said that the policy as "absolutely barmy."
Seemingly Enara Community Care, the firm contracted by Oxfordshire County Council to provide care provision, carried out a risk assessment (they pop in and out during the day); that's when the trouble started.
Whenever I hear the phrase "risk assessment", I instinctively reach for my revolver!
Four weeks after the risk assessment, Mrs Singer received a letter from Enara Community Care telling her of the decision.
Mrs Singer said:
"How ludicrous can you get?
My mother is still perfectly able to climb the stairs
with just a little bit of supervision.
Surely the main role of her carers was to ensure her safety.
To say they can't help her because of a possible injury risk is barmy.
How risky is it to help an elderly woman up the stairs?
They said she could fall on a carer and injure them
but she's never fallen before.
You could understand it if she was clinically obese
but she never goes beyond seven stone.
It's stupid, mindless bureaucracy."
Mrs Singer said that when she contacted the council about Enara's policy, she was told to install a stairlift or spend more time with her mother.
"I was absolutely astonished.
My husband Roger and I are very busy people,
we both have our own practices and we can't be here all the time."
Nanny doesn't give a stuff!
Personally speaking, if I ever become elderly and infirm and feel that I might have to ask Nanny for help I will most definitely be reaching for my revolver!