Whilst Nanny arrests 14 year olds who want to sit with pupils who speak English, it is reassuring to know that educashun standards have now slipped so low that it is possible to get a top grade GCSE in English literature without having read a book.
Why am I not surprised by this?
David Jesson, a professor at the Centre for Performance Evaluation and Resource Management at York University, co-wrote a paper on the subject which says that the teaching of literature by extracts has become the norm. As such, some pupils believe that Romeo and Juliet has a happy ending.
Pupils can now get through the whole of their secondary education without ever reading any book from cover to cover.
Nanny's chums in the Exam boards and the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority, are responsible for the debasement of literacy in Britain; as they now encourage teachers to concentrate on bite-sized chunks of text instead of the full novel, play or poem.
Last month the authority provided on its website the two extracts from each of the three Shakespeare plays which will form the test for 14 year olds next year.
Teachers can choose between the plays, and download the extracts which may be "photocopied for class use at the discretion of the teacher".
Anthony Farrell, the head of English at St Ives School in Cornwall, who co-wrote the paper, said that model test answers and assignments were silencing pupils' voices and creative instincts.
A spokesman for the Department for Education said:
"It is only possible for a child to go through Key Stage Three
without reading a whole novel if the teacher chooses such a reductive route and their subject leader approves."
As Orwell warned in "1984", once the state controls the language and the understanding of language it controls the mind and the ability of people to think for themselves.