Nanny is a strange contradictory old thing, on the one hand she exhorts us to exercise more, yet on the other she tries to stop people taking certain exercise routines in case they injure themselves.
Swimming, often being a dangerous issue for dear old Nanny.
Alan Treece, a retired civil servant from Erith, tries to keep fit by swimming. Unfortunately, Nanny doesn't quite approve of that.
Last year he was about to take his usual swim in the local pool and, as per the normal routine, he was going to dive into the water.
Ahhh...can see what will happen next children?
Yes...that's right...Nanny has banned diving.
The fact that he has been diving into the pool, without injury to himself or others, for the past 20 years brooked no ice with the pool attendant (one of Nanny's minions, known as "irondrawers" by Mr Treece).
Irondrawers warned him not to dive in to the water, as the health and safety Gestapo have decreed that he must lower himself into the water.
Mr Treece ignored the Gestapo, and dived in.
When he reached the other side of the pool, he was confronted by two police officers. They ordered him out of the water, and told him to leave the leisure complex.
He did so but returned that afternoon to complain.
Nanny's police then went to his home, and arrested him.
Errm...aren't our police meant to be arresting criminals instead?
Mr Treece ended up in court on a public order offence, the various court cases took 7 months to get through.
Mr Treece was given a 12-month conditional discharge, and ordered to pay costs of £455 within seven days.