Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, March 02, 2007

The Old Swimming Hole

The Old Swimming HoleNanny is a strange contradictory old thing, on the one hand she exhorts us to exercise more, yet on the other she tries to stop people taking certain exercise routines in case they injure themselves.

Swimming, often being a dangerous issue for dear old Nanny.

Alan Treece, a retired civil servant from Erith, tries to keep fit by swimming. Unfortunately, Nanny doesn't quite approve of that.

Last year he was about to take his usual swim in the local pool and, as per the normal routine, he was going to dive into the water.

Ahhh...can see what will happen next children?

Yes...that's right...Nanny has banned diving.

The fact that he has been diving into the pool, without injury to himself or others, for the past 20 years brooked no ice with the pool attendant (one of Nanny's minions, known as "irondrawers" by Mr Treece).

Irondrawers warned him not to dive in to the water, as the health and safety Gestapo have decreed that he must lower himself into the water.

Mr Treece ignored the Gestapo, and dived in.

Guess what?

When he reached the other side of the pool, he was confronted by two police officers. They ordered him out of the water, and told him to leave the leisure complex.

He did so but returned that afternoon to complain.

Nanny's police then went to his home, and arrested him.

Errm...aren't our police meant to be arresting criminals instead?

Mr Treece ended up in court on a public order offence, the various court cases took 7 months to get through.

Mr Treece was given a 12-month conditional discharge, and ordered to pay costs of £455 within seven days.

Justice...Nanny style!

9 comments:

  1. Simon The Horrible11:09 AM

    Defying the Health Nazis can get you arrested?

    Nanny is turning the once Great Britain into a giant prison, with the law abiding inside and the criminals outside.

    There will be a revolution one of these days.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:13 AM

    Can we maybe have a link to some reputable source for this anecdote?

    It's not that I don't believe it, but, well, you know...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anom, I am sorry that you don't consider this site to be "reputable".

    I suugest you do a Google for the story, and find a site that is more reputable:)

    Ken

    ReplyDelete
  4. Big Al11:44 AM

    If you Google treece erith diving, you'll find a less-detailed Daily Telegraph article about it.

    Took me 5 seconds.

    ReplyDelete
  5. alastair harris12:29 PM

    surely the point about this story is that you could not make it up!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I agree with Alastair Harris.

    In the late 60s or early 70s, Phillip Roth lamented the situation of the contemporary novelist. Roth's dismay lay in the realization that reality was, on a daily basis, outstripping the wildest acts of his and any other writer's imagination. The poor writer simply couldn't keep up creatively with the surreal doings of the day to day world.

    Similarly today, when one attempts to satirize Nanny, one quickly discovers that the attempt has been majestically eclipsed by the actual doings of Nanny herself. I sometimes think that poor Orwell would feel as Roth did in the 60s, that Nanny's world had simply put his imagination in the shade.

    In other words, you can't make this shit up!

    Only Nanny can.

    ReplyDelete
  7. David J Hilton10:47 PM

    One word springs to mind - PATHETIC

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'd better not say what I really think because it would just be expletive after expletive.
    Twats.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous12:03 PM

    Ken Said:

    When he reached the other side of the pool, he was confronted by two police officers.

    This requires an answer.
    Either
    1.) Mr Treece was an extremly slow
    swimmer
    Or
    2.) The police were in the lesure centre to begin with.

    If the answer is 2 then WHAT THE FUCK ARE POLICE OFFICERS DOING HANGING AROUND INSIDE A LEASURE CENTRE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

    Another display of an easy collar.

    TWATS

    ReplyDelete