Nanny is very concerned about keeping Britain clean and tidy, you only have to walk around some of her fine inner city areas (feel free to name and shame them) to see what a good job she has been doing!
However, let us not dwell on the unfortunately large gap between Nanny's desires and her abilities.
In one particular case Nanny has been very very assertive indeed, as she does her best to protect a beach from litter.
Now, what sort of litter do you think that she was protecting it from?
Empty cans of drink?
I will tell you.....
Yes, that's right, sand!
Arthur Bulmer, a pensioner who lives near to the sea, had his seafront garden carpeted with sand the other week, as a result of storms driving the sand up from the beach.
Mr Bulmer decided to use his initiative, and shovel the sand into a wheelbarrow to take it back to the beach in several loads.
Can you guess what happened next?
Yes, that's right, he has been threatened by Nanny with prison or a £50K fine if he carries out his evil plan.
You see, Mr Bulmer lives in St Annes and Fylde Borough Council are particularly good friends of Nanny. Indeed it is sad to say, but local councils throughout the land are sucking up to Nanny in all sorts of nasty and unpleasant ways.
Can anyone really, in their heart of hearts, justify the need for local councils; when you consider how much they charge us in council tax, yet how little they actually do aside from preventing us from enjoying our lives freely?
Anyhoo, Fylde Borough Council told Mr Bulmer that if he moved the sand, it would be classified as fly-tipping; in addition to the threat of jail and a fine, they would also take his wheelbarrow away.
To be fair to Nanny's chums in the local council, their workmen have been slowly taking the sand away from public areas, but not from private areas such as Mr Bulmer's garden.
By the way, some seven tons of sand sat upon his lawn; it is not unreasonable that he wanted to move it.
A spokesman for Fylde Borough Council attempted to explain their stupidity:
"The sand is actually part of the Queen's Crown estate,
which owns most of the foreshore around our coasts.
This year has seen an exceptional problem with wind-blown sand.
We have been cleaning up since Christmas.
But the council has no responsibility to clear sand
or any other debris from private land.
The owner must do this."
He added that dumping "anything" on to the beach from a private garden constituted flytipping.
Unfortunately the "logic" of Nanny's mouthpiece kind of falls apart; for you see, Nanny's workmen have been scraping the sand off the public areas and dumping it back on the beach.
Mr Bulmer ended up paying £500 to some workmen to clear the sand away (I wonder where they put it?).
Feel free to write to Fylde Borough Council to let them know what you think of them via this link Listening@fylde.gov.uk
By the way, in case you would like to understand the structure of Fylde Borough Council may I direct you to this page on their website?
The Council Structure
I think that says it all!