Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Nanny Bans Teddy Bear

Kenny Bear
Poor old Barty Bristle, all he wanted to do was to network with old and new chums on the internet.

Thinking this to be a simple matter, he set up an account on Faecesbook, the networking site.

He was so happy with the results, he attracted a large following.

Unfortunately, Nanny's chums on Faecesbook closed his account.

For why?

Was he a stalker?


Was he a paedophile?


He was a teddy bear.

His owner, Amanda Middleditch, merely wanted to make contact with other Arctophiles (lovers of Teddy bears).

Regrettably Faecesbook banned Bartie because his membership was "against the rules". Seemingly Bartie could be "masquerading" as someone else, and "it could be dangerous".


How many entries on Faecesbook actually are 100% accurate?

I am sure that many entries "masquerade" a teeny tiny amount, at the very least; whether they are teddy bears, or "real" people.

Truly pathetic!

Buy your authentic, and thoroughly gorgeous, Kenny Bear here: Kenny Bear.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Anonymous12:40 PM

    Teddy bears of the world unite. Down with discrimination, destroy teddy bear apartheid, freedom for the furry folk. Stand up and be counted, wobble down to parliament and protest now. Freedom for teddies.

    (Sorry about any spelling mistakes, but typing with paws is awful hard)

  2. Anonymous1:55 PM

    Anon... I'm not too sure about that. I really hate to tar all teddy bears with the same brush but I was attacked by one when I was a toddler. Scared me to death. And because it traumatised me so much I don't think anyone else should have the right to have one - for their own safety.
    Of course, I also had a trusty Goliwog (can I say Goliwog?) - who was never a peep of trouble but, alas, these were banned a long time ago. :-(

  3. Anonymous3:01 PM

    I'm told that people have started to collect golliwogs again (or perhaps, gollies, as I'm sure they must now be called).

    I, too, had a golliwog rather than a teddy as a child and it wasn't until I grew up and heard that Robertsons Jam was in trouble for its gollie logo that I came to realise what my gollie had supposedly represented.

    Was the decision to ban gollies evidence-based after scientific research showed a highly significant correlation between gollie ownership and rampant racism (or did some prat just decide that there was an 'issue')?

    I'm surprised that PETA hasn't decided that representing bears as teddies affronts their dignity.

    BTW is the world divided into gollie and teddy people as it is Blue Peter and Magpie people?


  4. Dear Ken,

    Just to clarify, I am not actually a body of water. I didn't want Nanny to think that I was misrepresenting myself.

  5. Anonymous8:30 PM

    If you sign on to Facebook today
    You'd better be in disguise

    If you sign on to Facebook today
    Your sure of a big surprise

    For every bear that ever there was
    Is sure to be on Facebook because

    Today's the day that teddy bears play on Facebook.