Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

On Yer Bike!

It is sad to say, but people have been living under Nanny's cosh for so long now that many of them now instinctively act like Nanny even thouhg they end up looking ridiculous.

A wee while ago PCSO Tony Cobban was asked to pose for a photo shoot for the police, on a stationary bicycle at Halfords in Preston.

Alas, PCSO Cobban refused.

Can you guess why children?

Yes, that's right, health and safety!

Seemingly PCSO Cobban was worried that, as he had not yet taken his cycling proficiency test, sitting on a stationary (yes, I did say STATIONARY!!!) bicycle presented a clear and present danger to his health and safety.

I wonder how he tackles the criminals then?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. We are breeding a nation of robotic scaredy cats.
    What concerns me more is that his commanding officer supported the reasoning behind his actions.
    I wonder how many people have died or suffered serious injury because the emergency services held back because of 'Elf'n'Safety....I can think of a few over the last couple of years.

  2. As always, we must be careful not to blame the individuals themselves. Any dominant culture produces robots; it is the culture itself that is at fault. The desire to toe the line and not stand out or question consensus will always be a strong one. It is, as always, up to the few to make the changes, in such a way as to not frighten or alienate the stooges and the apathetics. This is why I disapprove of revolutionaries of all kinds - it is the fate of all revolutions to end either as failures or tyrannies.
    As for this poor sap, he just needs freeing, like any other caged soul. Or rather, he needs to know that he is free already.

  3. Number 611:28 AM


    To be honest for all the use that plastic plod are they may as well sit on stationary bikes all day.

  4. Lord of Atlantis2:15 PM

    Well said, Number 6. These plastic policemen are simply policing on the cheap: if you pay (or invest) peanuts you get monkeys. Still, what do you cannot expect with Jackboots Jacqui and her mates in charge? I feel sure that since their introduction we are all sleeping safer in our beds at night!

  5. Anonymous3:09 PM

    I hope the guy was potty-trained by his parents and that he as had the foresight to retain the certificate. If not...he must be feeling pretty uncomfortable by now!

  6. Speenzman3:55 PM

    Hmm so nanny wants everyone to get out of their cars and be environmentally friendly and use public transport or, indeed, cycle. She invests in cycle paths (apparently, there's none round here!) and yet one of her PCSO lackeys think being STATIONARY on a bike is dangerous never mind riding one and heaven forbid riding one on the road. So are they safe or not nanny? I don't really care since I don't own a bike just wonder at how something can be safe in a more dangerous location (i.e. a bike on a road) yet unsafe in a safer environment (i.e. a police station forecourt or wherever it was they wanted to shoot).

    Personally I would love to see a PCSO going to a chip shop for his lunch, riding the five minutes it takes to get from the chip shop to the police station on his bike (with a small flag on a flagpole on the handlebars) in a cycle lane with a plastic spoon in his pocket and en route cycling under a hanging basket. That kind of nightmare must keep nanny awake at night!

  7. Number 610:28 AM

    My dear Lord, thank you for your kind words. Around my town the plastic plod stroll around in thier loverly hi-vis yellow jackets (nanny has a festish for hi vis nylon I notice) and in the summer complete the look with some LAPD style shades. Total twats, they can do nothing about the 'yoof' that run riot when they feel like it as they are 'underage' but can hassle respectable citizens who might drop a bit of litter outside a bin.

    Another Zanulabour attempt to look as if they are 'doing something' about a given problem. Get rid of them and pay and train proper coppers.

  8. Lord of Atlantis11:22 AM

    Number 6 said
    ..."Total twats, they can do nothing about the 'yoof' that run riot when they feel like it as they are 'underage' but can hassle respectable citizens who might drop a bit of litter outside a bin.
    Get rid of them and pay and train proper coppers"

    And the sooner the better: these plastic policemen are as much use in dealing with crime as having a one-legged man playing at centre forward for the English football team!