Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The Four Pillars of "Wisdom"

My thanks to a loyal reader, who sent me the above photo of the instructions for use of a bathmat from a Four Pillars Hotel near Oxford.

Those of you with photos of other hotel health and safety idiocy please feel free to send on to me.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Excellent. That made me smile! I'm surprised they don't just lock the bathrooms up and only let you in if you've taken 0.5 days training and signed a disclaimer first...

  2. Uncle John10:29 AM

    There's always (nearly always) the sign that says "This door MUST be kept locked shut AT ALL TIMES"

  3. No doubt those rules were drafted during several committee meetings and only after a full debate had taken place, with lawyers present, following the recommendations made in a risk assessment report. After all, we can never be too careful, can we?

  4. Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells1:25 PM

    Oh dear - I wonder how I've managed to survive six decades of bathroom usage without following this vital H&S bollocks?

  5. Tonk.1:32 PM

    How very patronising.

    How on Earth did we all survive before 'elf'n'safety?

  6. Uncle John2:31 PM

    A 'Risk Assessment' tale. Some years ago I was employed (inter alia) to teach basic First Aid to teachers. With colleagues I attended a 'training course' led by a County Council official. We were told that the largest cause of injury needing hospital treatment amongst primary school children was - burns to the fingers from 'Hot-glue guns' while making collages

    These were in use as a "Risk Assessment" had deemed there was a danger that kids might be tempted to 'sniff' the white, water-based, PVA adhesive previously supplied.

    No 'solvent' = SAFE [Tick]

  7. Think that's fun, wait til someone sends you the set of instructions pinned to toilet cubicle doors in civil service offices.

  8. Archroy8:37 PM

    The only time I went on a 'Risk Assessment Training Day' (with Croydon Council, Ken) the chair I was sitting on collapsed, and we couldn't get out of the room because the doorknob came off in the instructor's hand!

  9. State the obvious much

  10. Anonymous11:35 AM

    I really need to get you a copy of the latest H&S posteds from work. It lists ways people have hurt themselves, and I don't think it is intended as satire, but includes some priceless ones, such as "Cleaner fell on pineapple whilst answering door and injured back", and "Scaffolfder removed plank of wood then fell through gap".

    The really sad thing is - most of the preprogrammed drones dont see why it is funny and think it is useful advice.