Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Nanny Bans Dwile Flonking

Nanny's minions from Norfolk District Council have managed to put the jackboot into a centuries old sport that held its inaugural world championships this Saturday at the Dog Inn pub, in Ludham, Great Yarmouth.

The sport?

Dwile Flonking.

What is Dwile Flonking?

"Flonkers" use a pole to propel a beer soaked cloth at opponents, with the aim of slapping them in the face.

In the event that a flonker misses his/her target twice in a row, the flonker must drink a "pot" (half pint) of ale in one go.

Seems fair enough, yes?

Not if you are Tony Gent, the council's licensing officer. He read about the contest and immediately contacted Lorraine Clinch (landlady of the Dog Inn), to tell her that the contest contravenes Nanny's laws on speed drinking.

New laws introduced in April, by the last bunch of twats in parliament, banned; drinking games, including time limit, all-you-can-drink offers, free alcohol prizes and binge drinking promotions.

Breaches of the law can lead to pubs losing their licences, fines of up to £20,000 for landlords and six months in prison.

For the record, not that Nanny gives a fark, Dwile Flonking is believed by some to have been played in Norfolk and Suffolk since the middle ages (others think it was invented in 1966).

A spokesman for the council droned on and claimed that the pub was visited by the local Nannies for the pub's own good, so that the rules could be then be adapted satisfactorily.

The contest did take place, six teams of 10 battled it out. However, Nanny did win, no beer was downed in one; only ginger beer.

As ever, a local council proves once again that the state is the enemy of the people.

Local councils, what are they good for?

Absolutely nothing!

Feel free to write to Tony Gent via his email

Editorial note

The video above shows "Dwile Flunking" a variation on the sport, being played in 2008 at the Lewes Arms (Lewes) some 10 mins by train from me.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Celebrate the joy of living with booze. Click and drink!

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries


  1. Archroy11:15 AM

    Did you notice that despite Nanny's disapproval the Gloucestershire cheese rolling went ahead? Not many injured.

    We can fight back!

  2. LOL. That video! What a cool sport.
    The minute people start to enjoy themselves in something other than a nanny sponsored monitored and controlled event, they need to find some reason to ban it.

    Necking a half? OMG, wont someone think of the children??

  3. Power and control....That's what its all about.....Make the population too scared to do anything without Nanny's say so and they are easier to control.


  4. I watched the video. Definitely dangerous criminals :). Here's a group of citizens, probably taxpayers, just having fun dressing up, dancing, and playing an old game. Too bad Nanny couldnt just leave them alone.

  5. Lord of Atlantis2:35 PM

    A pity those jobsworths on the council (and at Westminster) cannot find something better to do with their time, like dealing with the mess that Gordon and Tony have bestowed upon this country, attending to real criminals or sorting out the scandal of homelessness. A pity the landlady didn't respond with the term
    "Bog Off!"
    Off topic, but I hope you had a nice Spring Bank Holiday, Ken, and that goes to all the others who contribute to this website too.

  6. I found a photo of the infamous Tony Gent here......

    I reckon if it wasn't for drinking games he would never get a bunk- up.

  7. Tony Gent

    Click on About Us & Councillors

  8. microdave8:34 PM

    Poor Mr Gent is only doing what he thinks is right:

    "He feels he is in a fortunate position and that is why he is here to serve the community."


  9. No 'speed drinking'? Presumably landlords will no longer be allowed the traditional call - "Drink up, Ladies & Gents, it's well past time."

    [BTW - I see that Nanny-NICE wants us to tell our Doctors what we drink]

  10. Apologies - I meant to add that a Surgeon who was about to delve into my important little places, once remarked that one shouldn't drink more than ones GP. He retracted the comment when I pointed that my GP was a Muslim