Nanny's minions from Norfolk District Council have managed to put the jackboot into a centuries old sport that held its inaugural world championships this Saturday at the Dog Inn pub, in Ludham, Great Yarmouth.
What is Dwile Flonking?
"Flonkers" use a pole to propel a beer soaked cloth at opponents, with the aim of slapping them in the face.
In the event that a flonker misses his/her target twice in a row, the flonker must drink a "pot" (half pint) of ale in one go.
Seems fair enough, yes?
Not if you are Tony Gent, the council's licensing officer. He read about the contest and immediately contacted Lorraine Clinch (landlady of the Dog Inn), to tell her that the contest contravenes Nanny's laws on speed drinking.
New laws introduced in April, by the last bunch of twats in parliament, banned; drinking games, including time limit, all-you-can-drink offers, free alcohol prizes and binge drinking promotions.
Breaches of the law can lead to pubs losing their licences, fines of up to £20,000 for landlords and six months in prison.
For the record, not that Nanny gives a fark, Dwile Flonking is believed by some to have been played in Norfolk and Suffolk since the middle ages (others think it was invented in 1966).
A spokesman for the council droned on and claimed that the pub was visited by the local Nannies for the pub's own good, so that the rules could be then be adapted satisfactorily.
The contest did take place, six teams of 10 battled it out. However, Nanny did win, no beer was downed in one; only ginger beer.
As ever, a local council proves once again that the state is the enemy of the people.
Local councils, what are they good for?
Feel free to write to Tony Gent via his email firstname.lastname@example.org.
The video above shows "Dwile Flunking" a variation on the sport, being played in 2008 at the Lewes Arms (Lewes) some 10 mins by train from me.
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