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Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Prats of The Week - Princess Productions

Well now folks, here's a real treat; another "Prats of The Week" Award!

Hoozah!

This time it goes to Princess Productions (owned by Newscorp).


What have they done to deserve this award?

Just ask the good people of ARRSE (The Army Rumour Service).

I have reproduced the text in full of ARRSE's description of what happened (see below).

In my opinion Princess Productions are indeed well deserving "Prats of The Week"!

How it all began

Princess Productions are a TV production company, notable for their excellent contributions to absolutely nothing of value. Their world and the ARRSE world happily moved in their own circles for years, blissfully unaware of each others existence.
That is, of course, until late one Friday afternoon, 21st of October 2011. An employee of Princess Productions, Lucy Weston, decided that it would be a rather jolly idea to fly Soldiers' wives and newborn children out to a combat zone in order to surprise them.

I'll copy it here so you can be sure nothing is lost in the edit:

The original post

'Hi there!
I hope you don’t mind me contacting you. I am a television researcher for a TV production company called Princess Productions. I was wondering if anyone might be able to help with a pilot TV show I am currently working on.
The show is going to be a combination of Surprise Suprise and Flashmob (the current phenomenon made famous by the T-Mobile advert). So we are currently looking for incredible people who could be the recipients of the surprise of their lives, a massive super-sized celebration to say thank you, give someone a huge send off, ask somebody to marry them or reveal some exciting news.
We thought it would be a lovely idea to surprise soldiers currently serving in Afghanistan. Maybe they are yet to meet their newborn babies. We would like to give them a huge surprise by flying the baby and all the family over for a massive moral boosting exercise and chance for him to cradle the son or daughter he has never met. We also want to treat the soldiers to a huge flashmob style thank-you from all the British public for the on-going work they are doing.
We obviously understand the logistics involved in this might be complicated. At this stage I was just wondering if you might know of anyone who this might be applicable to, if you could help to spread the word to fellow supporters and family members or if you could kindly put me in touch with anyone who might be able to help further with my enquiries?
I would really appreciate anything anyone could do to help. I was just wondering if you might know of anyone who this might be applicable to, if you could help to spread the word to fellow supporters and family members or if you yourself have a special someone you would like to give the surprise of their lives. Anyone interested can email me on *************.
I hope to hear from you soon!


Arrsers Reactions

Of course, the members of ARRSE were overjoyed that the Media wished to honour them in this way. I mean, who wouldn't want their wife and newborn baby being brought out to meet them in a FOB in Afghanistan. Perhaps they might even be able to film the reunited family sweeping a dusty track for Taleban IEDs. It would make great TV.
Well, the reactions of some of the ARRSE members were a little surprising. In fact, I think Lucy had the surprise of her life.
It’s difficult to suppress the rage, but wiping the froth from my mouth, I have a mucker who’s currently serving. Perhaps you could throw his newborn out of the back of a plane over his CP? I bet he would be really surprised.- Quiet_Soldier
Firstly, not a good idea to “suprise” a soldier on tour. Secondly, if I was on tour and you flew my wife/GF with newborn in to an operational theatre of conflict, I would punch your fcuking lights out – Wellyhead
Look, this young innocent lady went out of her way to google British Army, to find the epicentre of all military and human knowledge available on this planet, to research a watery-eyed corporate money-maker off of our and our relatives backs, and to get up in the rankings of one of the ugliest companys known within the shores of Great Britain. – Aleegee 1698
I think it’s a fucking brilliant idea. Watch a coked up tv crew get pissed around from pillar to post by RAF Movers. After three days of sleeping on plastic chairs and eating horror bag meals, the presenter then has the shit kicked out of them – on camera – for having the worst possible idea of bringing family members into an operational theatre. You could call it “Surprised? I’ll give you surprised, you retarded fucking mouth-breathing civvy-media c**t”. - Sure fire hit. Oh, and could Piers Morgan present? – dropshortjock

The Gronk Board

Naturally, the "serious" thread spawned asatanic little brother in theNAAFI Bar, where the personal qualities of the Princess Production "team" were discussed at length, after reference to their Gronk Board. Julie Kaye won it by miles because me Julie is well fit.

The Backpedal and the Scapegoat

Eventually, Princess Productions realised that not all publicity is good publicity, and issued a super-injunction on ARRSE forcing the removal of the original thread, but then surprisingly posting acrap apologyfor the original message, blaming a very junior member of staff after which the original thread was re-instated, albeit edited and locked.

The Daily Mirror

No love lost between Mirror Group and the Murdoch Empire, when the whole sorry affair was reported inThe Mirror


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5 comments:

  1. debbie11:48 AM

    "notable for their excellent contributions to absolutely nothing of value."

    Ha!!!

    Lets just send Reality TV producers to Afganistan to sweep for IED'S!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous11:52 AM

    I believe that the original concept, which is still under consideration, was a show called ‘Body Bag Bingo’.

    An unidentified dead soldier was to be flown back to England where 12 families would be assembled. Viewers could then phone on a premium rate number to vote which family could ‘unzip the bag’, and in which order.

    Then a panel of judges, including Simon Cowell, would asses each families reaction, either relief or devastation. The winning family would either win a once in a lifetime holiday to Euro Disney, or have the funeral paid for.

    Good family fun!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tonk.2:23 PM

    For once, I am speechless.


    This reminds me of Grand Designs on channel Four, where the smug woman that is having her dream property built, takes her poxy kids to run around the site complete with hard hat and hi-viz while the builders are trying to work..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells3:47 PM

    There seem to be no depths too far for so-called "reality" TV to sink, and the subject under discussion really is scraping the bottom of the sewage settlement tank. What next, snuff scenes?

    I'm glad I ditched the moron box years ago.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lucy clearly hadn't spent any time perusing typical threads at ARRSE, or she might have thought better of the idea!!!

    To say they don't suffer fools gladly is probably something of an understatement...

    ReplyDelete