Nanny's Bollocks Science

I see that Nanny has conducted some more "scientific research" which is in effect bollocks, that concludes that people who eat three or more slices of white bread a day are more likely to be obese.

Researchers in Spain found graduates who ate three slices of white bread per day were 40% more likely to be obese or overweight five years later when compared with people who ate it once a week.

The findings were presented at the European Congress on Obesity in Sofia, Bulgaria.

Here's why this study is bollocks....it totally ignores the other crap that these people eat/drink or put on their white bread.

White bread itself is not the cause of obesity. Obesity is caused by taking in more calories on a daily basis than you burn off.

In other "research" it seems that women who sleep in rooms that are not totally dark "may" be more prone to weight gain than those who don't.

What utter bollocks!

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Euro Nanny Bans Chanel No 5

I see that, despite being given a resounding middle finger by the people of Europe, Euro Nanny continues to try to micro manage every detail of our lives.

This time she is threatening to ban Chanel No 5 and a number of other perfumes, such as Miss Dior.

For why?

Seemingly Euro Nanny is worried that we may have an allergic reaction to these products.

Hang on a minute, I thought that all such products have been thoroughly tested on animals and students before they are released to the world in general?

More to the point Chanel No 5 has been around for donkey's years (93 by all accounts), and no one appears to have died from it yet!

All that aside, it seems that Euro Nanny is worried about the moss content of some perfumes which some people are allergic to.

Now here's the thing, if you are allergic to a soap or a perfume or other such product you stop using it.

How hard is that for the cretins in Brussels to understand?

More to the point some people are allergic to certain fruit juices, shall we ban them as well?

The plans by Euro Nanny are complete bollocks, and show how out of touch with reality she really is!

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NICE Offers Ludicrous Obesity Advice

I see that National Institute of Health and Care Excellence (Nice) think that obese people, instead of going for extreme weight loss, should aim to lose around 3% of their body weight in a year.

Additionally, NICE also think that two thirds of the population should be sent to state-funded slimming classes run by firms such as Weight Watchers.

All very well and dandy, maybe. However, I have two observations:

- Who will fund these slimming classes?

- An obese person who loses 3% of his/her weight is still obese.

NICE has given advice that is both impractical and ludicrous!

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Auntie Bans Girl, Just In Case

I see that Auntie has swathed herself in "glory" (or some other substance) again for some Orwellian post broadcast censorship.

This time Auntie decreed that the use of the word "girl" in a programme (The Queen's Baton Relay) that had already been broadcast about the Commonwealth Games was "offensive" and, as such, edited it out when the programme was rebroadcast.

Mark Beaumont, the presenter, was being filmed grappling with judo champion Cynthia Rahming, and after he was sent crashing to the floor he said:

“I am not sure I can live that down - being beaten by a 19-year-old girl.”

Cynthia Rahming wasn't offended by the remark, therefore if she wasn't why did Auntie censor it having already broadcast it?

A BBC spokeswoman is quoted by the Telegraph:

“They had more time to edit it the second time. Mark didn't mean to cause offence. But the word 'girl' was taken out just in case it did.” 

Censoring things "just in case" offence is caused is the road to ruin. Scour the world hard enough and you will find at least one person who will be offended by something.

The concept of censoring "offence" needs to be balanced by commonsense, something that Auntie lost many years ago!

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Prats of The Week - Sustrans

Commiserations to Jim Higgins (a retired police officer) who tried to help his local community by clearing some brambles from a footpath at the bottom of his garden, replace a fence and build a seat.

Sadly, despite trying to do good, Mr Higgins fell foul of Sustrans the charity that owns the footpath.

Sustrans had health and safety concerns over the homemade bench and, following a complaint to the police by Sustrans, Mr Higgins ended up being questioned at his local police station in Whitehaven, Cumbria.


He has now been told that he could be charged with the theft of the old fence, for you see he used the old fence to build the bench.

Mr Higgins is quoted by the Mail:

"I am worried sick that what I believed was a good deed for everyone in the village is going to end up with me having a criminal conviction. 

I have nothing to hide, I admit I did it. But never did I imagine anyone would be anything but happy. I’m finding it hard to sleep at night and am worried about the future."

Mr Higgins had already asked Sustrans to replace the broken-down fence. However, he took matters into his won hands when his dog (Nell) became impaled on a rusty spike.

Sustrans spokesman Eleanor Roaf said:

"Health and safety is really important to us and we ask that people talk to us before doing anything on our land to avoid any risk to the public. We are waiting to hear whether the police wish to press charges."

Errmm, was it not Sustrans that brought the police this in the first place?

Therefore Sustrans should simply tell the police that no crime has been committed.

Sustrans, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Nanny Bans Food

 

As I have stated many times before on this site, once Nanny has dealt with the smokers and drinkers she will come after those of us who eat food.

Loh and behold I give you The World Obesity Federation and Consumers International, which want the food industry to be regulated like the tobacco industry.

For why?

Seemingly obesity poses a greater global health risk than cigarettes.

There we go folks you can now smoke again, but you must stop eating!

Nanny wants pictures on food packaging of damage caused by obesity, similar to those on cigarette packets.

The new rules could include reducing the levels of salt, saturated fat and sugar in food, improving food served in hospitals and schools, imposing stricter advertising controls, and educating the public about healthy eating.

FFS!

Have these people not realised that the price of food will, in the coming years, rise to levels that will force us to cut our consumption and revert to eating less shite?

The reason for the price rise is the fact that the world's population growth and industrial growth is reducing the supply of staples such as wheat, rice, grains and arable land; ie the surplus of food that we in the West currently take for granted is but a short term blip in the long term reality of food being generally scarce for many.

Nanny really does want to control every aspect of our lives, don't let her!

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Safety Advice From The British Flatulence Council

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Fruit Juice Is Dangerous

As I have noted many times before on this site, Nanny's five a day advice is utter bollocks.

I am therefore gemused to see that Nanny is finally waking up to the idea that her advice needs to be taken with a pinch of salt.

For low and behold it seems that too much fruit juice is in fact not very good for you.

For why?

Way too much sugar; which causes issues with weight, diabetes and tooth decay.

I have noted that many times before as well.

Anyhoo, the solution is simple; just add loads of salt to your juice!

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Google To Rewrite History

How gemusing, the EU has decreed that Google must delete everything that is irrelevant and inappropriate.

That will take some time!
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Auntie's Pratgate

Further to yesterday's award to Auntie (the BBC) of my prestigious Prat of The Week award, for her handling of David Lowe and "The Sun Has Got His Hat On", it transpires that Auntie didn't follow her own internal approval procedures.

Seemingly the whole sorry business could have been avoided, if managers at the station had followed the usual protocol and approved the programme before it went to air.

Mr Lowe told the Telegraph he would always pre-record his shows about six days ahead of transmission, before uploading them along with a series of compliance forms to an internal system.

As part of the compliance process, he was required to nominate a third party in BBC management who would be available to listen to each programme and approve it before broadcast.

However, two days before the April 27th show, he logged onto the system and noticed that the programme was still listed as “pending” and had not been changed to “approved”.

“I immediately emailed the managing editor and said ‘I see it has not been approved, we are getting a bit close for comfort.

He immediately came back to me and said ‘Ok, I will deal with that’. I said ‘Thanks a lot’ and forgot about it.

When I went back into the compliance form again on the Monday evening after transmission, I noticed the programme was still pending – in other words, it had not been approved for transmission.

Clearly the [compliance] system is cobbled together, it is fractured and it needs either scrapping or completely rethinking.” 

Mr Lowe also claimed a fellow BBC radio DJ had informed him the offending song was still visible on the corporation’s internal library on Monday morning, two weeks after the incident.

Auntie, well deserving Prat of The Week!

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Prat of The Week - Auntie

Congratulations to Auntie for winning this week's Prat of The Week Award.

Her handling of the David Lowe "Sun Has Got His Hat On" affair was ham fisted and "Stalinist" to say the least.

Mr Lowe on his nostalgia radio show "Swingers and Stingers" played an 82 year old version "The Sun Has Got His Hat On" by Ambrose & His Orchestra. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to Mr Lowe, the recording contained the "N" word. A listener complained, and Mr Lowe offered to make an on air apology or "fall on his sword".

Auntie, fretting over the potential damage to her reputation, decreed that he should resign and make no mention of the incident.

As per the Telegraph (note the BBC don't seem to have given as much detail on its news site):

"BBC sent him an email in which it was stated “we would prefer that you don’t mention anything about last week’s broadcast”. A further and final email informed him: “Regrettably ... we will have to accept your offer to fall on your sword.”

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, the affair became public and Auntie has done a volte farce and offered Mr Lowe his job back.

Mr Lowe said that, in his case at least, “where political correctness is concerned in the UK today, there is no room for excuses or forgiveness”.
 

Auntie, well deserving Prat of The Week!

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Prat of The Week - Caroline Dinenage MP

Congratulations to Caroline Dinenage (MP for Gosport) for winning this week's Prat of The Week Award.

Why has she been so honoured?

She claimed £3.95 in parliamentary expenses to pay for "sympathy cards" for the families of dead voters.

A spokesman for Dinenage told the Telegraph that she does not pay for the cards herself, because they are sent in “her capacity as an MP” and often contain other “information or correspondence”.

Here is why she is a prat:

1 If she did not know the people why send the cards?

2 If she did know the people, then she should have sent the cards as a private individual (and paid for them) not as an MP.

3 Sending sympathy cards with "other information" is just plain crass!

Caroline Dinenage, well deserving Prat of The Week!

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Sunbathing Prevents Skin Cancer

As I sit in my office gazing at a rain lashed sarf cost, I am gemused at the seasonal massive marketing push by the purveyors of expensive lotions to sell all and sundry factor 50 sunblock etc.

Nanny has so successfully conditioned us over the last decade or so to fear the sun, that the purveyors of factor 50 have made a nice little earner out of it. This despite the fact that average British summer generally requires brollies rather than lollies and factor 50.

Anyhoo, as with all of Nanny's "research", it seems that her fears over sunbathing being akin to rubbing oneself with a radioactive rod may in fact be bollocks.

Researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden have concluded that women who never sunbathe during the summer are twice as likely to die than those who sunbathe everyday.

The researchers claim that guidelines which advise people to stay out of the sun unless wearing sunscreen may be harming the population, particularly in countries like Britain.

No kidding!

The research, which followed nearly 30,000 women over 20 years, suggests that women who stay out of the sun are at increased risk of skin melanomas and are twice as likely to die from any cause, including cancer.

Dr Pelle Lindqvist, lead author, is quoted by the Telegraph:

"The results of this study clearly showed that mortality was about double in women who avoided sun exposure compared to the highest exposure group.

Sun exposure advice which is very restrictive in countries with low solar intensity might in fact be harmful for women’s health. 

The mortality rate was increased two-fold among avoiders of sun exposure as compared to those with the highest sun exposure habits.”

Unsurprisingly it is likely that the lack of vitamin D may to be blame. Vitamin D is created in the body through exposure to sunshine and a deficiency is known to increase the risk of diabetes, tuberculosis, multiple sclerosis and rickets.

Cases of rickets have risen fourfold in the last 15 years as sunscreen has increased in popularity.

Previous studies have shown that vitamin D can increase survival rates for women with breast cancer while deficiencies can signal prostate cancer in men. Low levels of vitamin D have also been linked to more aggressive forms of skin cancer.

Public Health England says it would be considering the research carefully.

Doubtless those who lobby on behalf of the companies that manufacture and sell sunblock 50 will be pressing for this research to be rubbished by Nanny.

As with everything, use your commonsense and don't overdo it!

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Play With Knives

I am gemused to see that Bear Grylls has said that children should be allowed to play with knives, because it can “empower" them by teaching them how to do something dangerous but safely.

This despite the fact that his 6 year old son Huckleberry cut himself with an ultra sharp penknife and was happily bleeding all over the place.

Grylls makes a valid point that instead of avoiding/minimising risk, children should learn how to manage it.

Grylls is quoted by the Telegraph:

“When I say to budding adventurers, ‘Listen – a blunt penknife is a dangerous knife. Make sure it’s really sharp’ – the kids’ faces light up. Like all kids, they want a mega-sharp penknife – great, but teach them to respect it and use it properly.

Two hundred years ago, I doubt there was a six-year-old in Britain who couldn’t start a fire with a knife and a flint. It would be like a six-year-old today using a fork to pick up a fishfinger. Kids were taught to be resourceful and practical.”

He added:

“There is risk everywhere, even when you go out on the street. So if you teach kids to dodge risk, you totally disempower them.
You empower kids by teaching them how to do something dangerous, but how to do it safely.”

Absolutely right!

Sadly, given the society we now live in, I wouldn't be surprised if some busybody reports the knife incident to Nanny (who of course will feel "obliged" to investigate).

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Nanny Bans Shoes

I was bemused to read about the shoeless policy adopted by Holmbush Primary School in Shoreham.

For reasons that are beyond my understanding the school's learning council has decided that shoeless classrooms improve the learning environment.

Could someone please explain how not wearing shoes in class improves one's ability to learn?

That aside, as with all Nanny type rules something went a little wrong.

For you see dear readers the fire alarm went off the other week, and the pupils and staff had to evacuate themselves (shoeless) into the wet playground.

Parents were less than amused to hear of the wet sock experience, and somewhat overreacted.

All of that aside, are we not missing the essential point here?

How does a shoeless classroom improve the learning experience????

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Prats of The Week - Caerphilly Council

Well done Caerphilly council for winning this week's Prats of The Week Award.

The council has won the award for its ludicrous ban on staff using electronic cigarettes in Caerphilly council-owned buildings and vehicles.

The council claims that the policy strengthened its efforts to make its premises a healthy and smoke-free work environment for employees and visitors.

All very well if e fags are dangerous to third parties, they are not!

Also the ban does not cover members of the public who visit council premises.

Christine Forehead, cabinet member for human resources and governance, is quoted by the BBC:

"As a council we recognise that smoking is the single most preventable cause of illness, premature death and health inequality throughout the United Kingdom. 

Exposure to second-hand smoke is also a cause of ill health and it is estimated to contribute to around 600,000 deaths globally a year.

This policy strengthens our efforts to make council premises a healthy, smoke-free work environment for employees and visitors."

The above diatribe against smoking has nothing whatsoever to do with e fags.

Caerphilly council, well deserving Prats of The Week!


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Happy May Day

In a clear breach of Nanny's health and safety rules, a group of middle aged men (some with beards) and women adorned with the flag of St George gathered outside one of my local pubs last night and attempted to assault each other with wooden sticks whilst drinking alcohol.

People just stood and watched!

Children and babies were present!

How can Nanny allow such behaviour to continue, won't someone think of the children?

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