Nanny Bans Triangular Flapjacks

I am hugely gemused to see that Nanny's chums from Castle View School on Canvey Island have got their collective knickers into a twist over triangular flapjacks.

For why?

It seems that the little "scamps" who attend the school have been lobbing them around, and a pupil was slightly injured.

What is Nanny's solution?

Cut the triangles into squares or rectangles!

One small problem, does not a square/rectangle also have sharp corners?

However, kudos to Nanny's Health and Safety Executive for rushing to defend flapjacks:

"We often come across half-baked decisions taken in the name of health and safety, but this one takes the biscuit. The real issue isn't what shape the flapjacks are, but the fact that pupils are throwing them at each other - and that's a matter of discipline, and has got nothing to do with health and safety as we know it. We're happy to make clear that flapjacks of all shapes and sizes continue to have our full backing."

Whilst we are on the subject, I have never eaten a flapjack in my life; and I don't think I ever will! I have, however, eaten pancakes.

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Tossers!

Lawks a Mercy!

I plum forgot that yesterday was Shrove Tuesday, when people the length and breadth of the country are tossing like mad.

Did you all have a good toss yesterday loyal readers?

The good people St Albans of didn't.

For why?

Our old fiends from health and safety intervened.

St Albans holds an annual pancake race.

This year was no exception, aside from one small fly in the oinkment.

Charles Barker the tourism manager from St Albans council appeared at the race, complete with high vis jacket and clip board (so you knew he was "important"), and told the competitors that they must walk, not run.

For why?

The council decreed that because it had been raining people might slip over, ie there was a health and safety risk.

The announcement was greeted with much booing and derision. However, sadly, only three people disobeyed the council and ran, the rest walked.

The race had been held in the town since 1445.

St Albans council clearly are a bunch of tossers!

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Nanny Bans Pancakes Again

Happy Shrove Tuesday everyone!

Traditionally a day when people mix a batter of flour, eggs and milk and toss it frantically in a frying pan.

Well that was the tradition, until Nanny put her nose into things. Three years ago I wrote about Nanny banning pancakes, now she is up to her old tricks again.

The Shrove Tuesday annual pancake race in Ripon has been scrapped this year because of health and safety considerations.

The revived event (originally dating back 600 years) has been carried out for the last 11 years in modern times; with local children, traders, clergy and soldiers taking part.

Unfortunately, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have put their size ten jackboots into the batter and have caused the event to be cancelled.

For why?

The Dean of Ripon, the Very Rev Keith Jukes, co-organiser of the races, explained:

"We have looked at this and there are a number of reasons it won't take place and a big reason sadly this year is health and safety.

Any organisation which runs an event has to go through a number of risk assessments. The insurance companies demand it and in the end you have to work out whether it's a risk you take.

There is also the whole issue of road closures which can be an expensive business."

Pass the sick bag someone!

A risk assessment for a pancake race?

The insurance companies, and councils that kowtow to them, are destroying the fabric of people's daily lives.

It is time that these two malign influences on our lives were cut out from society, in the manner that one would cut out a scrofulous tumour.

In order to really annoy Nanny, here is a nice recipe for Swedish pancakes; go on, live a little!

Ingredients

- 2 cups milk
- 4 eggs
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 tablespoons sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- Lingonberries or raspberries
- Seedless raspberry jam or fruit spread, warmed Whipped topping

Preparation

In a blender, combine the first six ingredients. Cover and process until blended. Heat a lightly greased 8-in. nonstick skillet; pour 1/4 cup batter into centre of skillet. Lift and tilt pan to evenly coat bottom.

Cook until top appears dry; turn and cook 15-20 seconds longer. Repeat with remaining batter, adding oil to skillet as needed. Stack pancakes with waxed paper or paper towels in between. Reheat in the microwave if desired.

Fold pancakes into quarters; serve with berries, raspberry jam and whipped topping.

Please note it contains eggs, milk, salt and sugar...all the things that Nanny hates!

Happy Shrove Tuesday everyone!

Get tossing!