Fast Food Healthier Than Restaurant Food

Much to my amusement, after years of telling us that fast food was bad for us, Nanny has now come to the conclusion that sit down meals in restaurants are in fact more calorie laden that fast food.

Therefore we must conclude the fast food is in fact good for us!

Nanny's drones have concluded that the calorie content of meals in UK restaurants is "excessive" and sit-down restaurants are unhealthier than fast-food chains, BMJ research suggests.

Health "experts" say meals should not exceed 600 calories, but in this study they averaged 1,033 in restaurants and 751 in fast-food chains.

Why should a meal be limited to 600 calories?

Who are these people to tell us that?

University of Liverpool researchers analysed thousands of meals from places like Hungry Horse and McDonald's.

They said their findings were a cause for concern.

It is clear that Nanny will not only continue trying to shut down fast food outlets, but will now also try to the the same to sit down establishments.


My conclusion is that these people shou;d fuck off and let us get on with our lives!

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Pasta Helps You Lose Weight

Despite what Nanny and so called "experts" have been telling us over the years, it seems that pasta does not make you fat but actually helps you lose weight.

For why?

It doesn't bugger up your blood sugar levels, in the way that some other foods do.

Here is what the BMJ says:

"Pasta in the context of low-GI dietary patterns does not adversely affect adiposity and even reduces body weight and BMI compared with higher-GI dietary patterns."

Coming soon, smoking cures cancer!

In other words ignore the experts and maintain a balanced diet, allowing for indulgences and fun!

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The Joy of Fry Ups

Wonderful news everyone!

The British Medical Journal has decreed that fry ups are no longer bad for you.

Hoozah!!

It appears that the health issue (if there really is one) lies not with the constituents of fry ups, but the oil in which they are fried.

A study published in the BMJ found no association between the frequency of fried food consumption in Spain - where olive and sunflower oils are mostly used - and the incidence of serious heart disease.

Needless to say the British Heart Foundation had a mild seizure over this, and has warned us not to reach for the frying pans "yet".

Well they would say that wouldn't they?

Professor Michael Leitzmann of the University of Regensburg in Germany said

"Taken together, the myth that frying food is generally bad for the heart is not supported by available evidence."

As I have stated many times before on this site, the body is a like a car engine it needs oil in it in order to ensure that the blood flows smoothly through the veins;)

As ever with food and drink, so long as you eat and drink a variety of foods/drinks then a blow out every once in while will not do you any harm. It is the constant haranguing by Nanny and the "health" industry that raises the blood pressure and stress levels, not the occasional fry up!

Now where's my pan?

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Anti Smoking Bollocks

I see that Nanny's chums from the UK Centre for Tobacco Control Studies (can you guess what their agenda is folks?), have published "unbiased research" in the BMJ that claims that films that depict actors smoking encourage teenagers to smoke.

As a result, the zealots who conducted the research want all films that depict smoking to have an 18 certificate.

Aside from the ludicrous fact that films and TV shows such as "Peter Pan" and Thunderbirds (they were always having a fag and boozing in the TV series) would end up being made adults only, don't these sad twats realise that by "forbidding" something in this way makes it even more attractive?

Once the zealots have forbidden us watching people smoking, they will then forbid us to watch people eating fatty foods and drinking booze.

Oh, and by the way, if they are so concerned about health why the fark don't they do something about cars then?

Researchers from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine found the chance of suffering an attack increased by 1.3% in the six hours after coming in contact with high levels of vehicle-related pollutants.

They singled out tiny particles known as PM10 and nitrogen dioxide which are both expelled by cars as the main culprits.

In fact, on the subject of pollution, what the hell is going on in Wales?

"Of possibly more worrying importance for Europe is that I saw today THREE brand new 'boxes' being installed in my local area. Green, 4 feet tall, air intake on top, exhaust vent on the back, air pump constantly pulling air through a suspiciously military looking black metal unit inside. Couldn't see all of the printing on that, but it looks like a NSN (Nato Stock Number. I'm ex-RAF and I've seen millions of them). Built hurriedly (I'm an engineer and I know the difference) with commercially available components everywhere you can see by shining a torch through the vents. Installers all very hostile to anyone asking questions. Which I did. Was pointedly told to fuck off and mind my own business.

Ok, they're quite obviously environmental monitoring stations. But designed to measure what? Fallout?..


After Fukushima, most of the governmental rad monitoring stations in North America and many parts of Europe went dead. Offline. We have no bananas. No one here guv. What's this 'radiation' thing again?

What's your local area? On what type of land are they sited? Also, did they have UHF/VHF antennae on top? A flat satcoms box? A panel for access to a display/meter? Solar panel on top, or wired to the grid, etc?...


North Wales, UK.
All on cycle paths; moderately 'off the beaten track' positions. Looks like theres a GPRS antenna inside near the top (top made of fiberglass and marked 'Morgan Marine' on one corner), also a visible 'wallwart' that looks very much like a cellphone charger plugged into a 6-pack extension strip mounted inside on the back. All 3 sited immediately next to a street light pole and wired into it (fresh asphalt strip between pole and green box on all of them).

They're not elegantly engineered at all. Look thrown together out of the cheapest commercially available parts they could get - rain guard inside mesh screen on top is simply a plastic funnel with a rubber 'condom' blanking off the top.

Look like this;

...almost exactly, but green and much cheaper construction. Really bad / hasty silicone sealant application on all exterior joints, etc..."

Any ideas anyone?

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Saucy

Ooh Err Missus, I'm always partial to a bit of sauce!

I see that the bastion of the British breakfast condiments (can I say condiments before the watershed?), namely HP Sauce, has succumbed to Nanny's anti salt zealotry.

HP, who have been manufacturing the tangy brown sauce (used by gazillions of Brits to enhance their breakfast fry ups every morning) since 1899, have adjusted their recipe to reduce the salt content.

For shame!

Let's face it, people will simply add more salt to their food via their salt pot (unless Nanny has bunged up the holes!).

Anyhoo, by all accounts the new flavour knocks your head off and is not well liked by HP aficionados; Marco Pierre White has branded the new taste "disgusting".

It seems that this could quite possibly be a British version of the "new Coke" debacle, which is ironic given that the owners of HP are Heinz (American) and should have learned the lesson of never tamper with your brand from their compatriots at Coke.

I suggest that you tell HP what you think via their Faecesbook page.

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Another Load of Old Bollocks

I am gemused to see that another piece of "research" promulgated by Nanny as "fact" appears now to be bollocks.

You recall that Nanny has been banging on a lot about "hydration" and making sure we drink several (8 to be precise) glasses of water a day?

Well my old muckers it turns out that this may in fact be unnecessary, and that humans can (if they eat sensibly and drink sensibly) hydrate themselves perfectly well without having to down extra glasses of water each day.

Dr Margaret McCartney, a GP from Glasgow, wrote in the BMJ stating (what most doctors already know) there is no scientific evidence that we need so much extra water.

How is that this myth about needing 8 glasses a day keeps getting spewed forth. Well it seems that some companies, such as Danone, have been pushing "research" to Nanny that supports the myth and have sponsored the 8 a day concept.

Danone?

Yes, that's right, they own several well known brands of bottled water.

Aha!

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The Joy of Fry Ups

Yesterday Giles Coren wrote a piece in The Times about the dangers of fry ups.

Quote:

"I'll tell you what's holding us back from finally getting rid of the fried English breakfast for ever: lack of education. You never see a person with a degree eating a fry-up, do you? Certainly not someone with a 2:1 or better in a humanities subject from a university founded before the invention of the iPod. That's because they are smart enough to know better. "

Well, the "educated" team at Nanny Knows Best did not sit idly by and let that one pass!

Post haste the following email was sent to Coren and The Times:

"Giles

Re today's article about fry ups, here is a photo of the contents of a typical fry up that I treat myself to on some Saturday evenings.

Please note:

1 I have a 2:1 from Edinburgh

2 I am 45, and in very good nick

3 It is washed down with lashings of Erdinger

4 You will be pleased to know that I fry the bread and eggs in olive oil, and grill the English sausages, bacon and tomatoes

Did you not write recently that your doctor warned you about your own diet?

Kind regards

Ken Frost

www.nannyknowsbest.com"

Should you wish to have your own fry up, here's a list of the basic ingredients (per person):

1 Spuds for the chips

2 4 large English sausages

3 4 rashers of back bacon (smoked)

4 2-3 large tomatoes

5 2 slices of white bread for frying

6 3-4 eggs

7 2 slices of buttered white bread

Additional ingredients, if you are peckish, can include; mushrooms, beans, lamb's kidneys and black pudding.

Accompany your fry up with a well chilled supply of Erdinger, and plenty of salt.

Enjoy!





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Nanny Bans Pancakes Again

Happy Shrove Tuesday everyone!

Traditionally a day when people mix a batter of flour, eggs and milk and toss it frantically in a frying pan.

Well that was the tradition, until Nanny put her nose into things. Three years ago I wrote about Nanny banning pancakes, now she is up to her old tricks again.

The Shrove Tuesday annual pancake race in Ripon has been scrapped this year because of health and safety considerations.

The revived event (originally dating back 600 years) has been carried out for the last 11 years in modern times; with local children, traders, clergy and soldiers taking part.

Unfortunately, Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have put their size ten jackboots into the batter and have caused the event to be cancelled.

For why?

The Dean of Ripon, the Very Rev Keith Jukes, co-organiser of the races, explained:

"We have looked at this and there are a number of reasons it won't take place and a big reason sadly this year is health and safety.

Any organisation which runs an event has to go through a number of risk assessments. The insurance companies demand it and in the end you have to work out whether it's a risk you take.

There is also the whole issue of road closures which can be an expensive business."

Pass the sick bag someone!

A risk assessment for a pancake race?

The insurance companies, and councils that kowtow to them, are destroying the fabric of people's daily lives.

It is time that these two malign influences on our lives were cut out from society, in the manner that one would cut out a scrofulous tumour.

In order to really annoy Nanny, here is a nice recipe for Swedish pancakes; go on, live a little!

Ingredients

- 2 cups milk
- 4 eggs
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 tablespoons sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- Lingonberries or raspberries
- Seedless raspberry jam or fruit spread, warmed Whipped topping

Preparation

In a blender, combine the first six ingredients. Cover and process until blended. Heat a lightly greased 8-in. nonstick skillet; pour 1/4 cup batter into centre of skillet. Lift and tilt pan to evenly coat bottom.

Cook until top appears dry; turn and cook 15-20 seconds longer. Repeat with remaining batter, adding oil to skillet as needed. Stack pancakes with waxed paper or paper towels in between. Reheat in the microwave if desired.

Fold pancakes into quarters; serve with berries, raspberry jam and whipped topping.

Please note it contains eggs, milk, salt and sugar...all the things that Nanny hates!

Happy Shrove Tuesday everyone!

Get tossing!

Hyperbole Of The Week

I was considering giving the Prat of the Week award to this bloke, but this week's award has already been allocated.

Therefore I have instituted another award, which doubtless will never be used again, namely "Hyperbole of the Week".

This week's Hyperbole of the Week Award goes to Nanny's chums in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) for publishing an article by Mike Daube, Professor of Health Policy Curtin University of Technology Perth Western Australia.

Professor Daube and the BMJ have decided, for reasons that unclear, to put their noses into the Tory leadership contest.

Specifically, the BMJ is very concerned about the long term health effects to the nation of a win by Ken Clarke.

Professor Daube has written a lengthy, and "hyperbolic" (I do like that word), article on the horrors of Ken Clarke's association with BAT and the tobacco industry. He portrays dear old Ken as an angel of death, a tad over the top wouldn't you say.

Here is an extract:

"The tobacco industry comprises evil companies, promoting and selling a product they know to be lethal. Kenneth Clarke has been a supporter of the industry for over 30 years, and one of its leaders since 1998.

Surely a peddler of death and disease has no place aspiring to lead the party of Disraeli, let alone a great country.

If he is elected, companies such as BAT will flourish with access at the highest levels,

while their products kill more and more millions in Britain

and around the world."

I wonder what the learned professor would say if David "I won't tell you if I took drugs" Cameron won?

Methinks that the BMJ would be better off keeping their minds on their jobs, and not interfering in politics; especially since doctors are one of the highest consumers of drink, drugs and fags in the professions.

Nanny Bans Pancakes

Today is Shrove Tuesday, doubtless many of you will be "tossing away" like mad; as you gorge yourselves to death on homemade pancakes.

However, I must caution you, Nanny has her beady little eye on the whole pancake experience.

Not only are they rather fattening, you know how she hates fat people, but they are now deemed to be a health and safety issue as well.

Nanny's chums in the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents (RoSPA) predict, in a report issued today, that around 250 people will end up in hospital after cooking pancakes on Shrove Tuesday.

Do these people have nothing better to do?

The dangers include:

- Burning you hands on hot frying pans

- Burns from spitting fat

- Excess tossing leading to pancakes landing on people's heads and wrists

Please, give us a break Nanny!

Nanny is so concerned about the dangers, that she has designed a special safety suit to be worn when cooking and tossing.

Should the number of accidents not fall, she will ban pancakes altogether.

You have been warned!

Therefore, in order to really annoy Nanny, here is a nice recipe for Swedish pancakes; go on, live a little!

Ingredients

- 2 cups milk
- 4 eggs
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 tablespoons sugar
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- Lingonberries or raspberries
- Seedless raspberry jam or fruit spread, warmed Whipped topping

Preparation

In a blender, combine the first six ingredients. Cover and process until blended. Heat a lightly greased 8-in. nonstick skillet; pour 1/4 cup batter into center of skillet. Lift and tilt pan to evenly coat bottom.

Cook until top appears dry; turn and cook 15-20 seconds longer. Repeat with remaining batter, adding oil to skillet as needed. Stack pancakes with waxed paper or paper towels in between. Reheat in the microwave if desired.

Fold pancakes into quarters; serve with berries, raspberry jam and whipped topping.