Surplus To The Species

There is rather a bizarre Nannyish story emanating from the zoo of my old university town of Edinburgh.

Some five months ago two rare breed Red River Hog piglets (named Sammi and Becca) were born in the zoo, as part of a special breeding program begun for the animals in 2004.

In fact they were the first born Red River Hog piglets born at the zoo since the start of the special breeding program.

Hoorah!

Ermm...not quite.

For you see loyal readers the piglets were recently "euthanised".

For why?

They were deemed to be "surplus of the species".

Eh?

In June, three more piglets were born at the zoo; males called Ellis, Moses and Nelson.

At this point the European Endangered Species Program (EEP) reclassified Sammi and Becca as "a surplus of the species". The zoo was ordered to destroy the two females, rather than find another home for them.

The EEP are of the view that this policy "strengthens the genetic diversity of the species".

The zoo chose to obey orders, rather than re-home the piglets.

I am not a biologist, but quite honestly the policy sounds like utter bollocks to me. Surely the more breeding, the greater the genetic diversity and hence greater resistance to future threats (eg disease etc)?

Don't get me wrong, I love a good pork chop as much as the next man. However, this policy to my naive accounting brain sounds like utter bollocks (Edinburgh Zoo isn't part of "Project Prevention" by any chance is it?).

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Nanny Bans Pigs

Poor old Peppa Pig (a children's cartoon character) has fallen foul of Nanny.

Her crime?

She doesn't wear seatbelts when travelling in the back of her parents' car.

Thus a veritable flurry (two or three in reality) of complaints have been lodged (oddly though the programme has been running since 2004, why now?).

The result?

The creators are "adjusting history", and redrawing 105 episodes to include seatbelts.

Whilst they are about it, they may wish to consider adding hands with fingers to the characters.

After all, how the hell can pigs with trotters be allowed in Nanny's Britain to drive cars?

Nanny may also care to complain to all other cartoon makers, going back to the 1920's, about the dangers of:

- anvils being dropped on heads
- eating TNT
- using high explosives to rid yourself of mice and other vermin
- hitting each other with frying pans
- running off cliffs and then looking down
- running into locomotives at full speed
- being squashed by a steamroller in order to flatten oneself
- chasing Tasmanian Devils rabbits, mice etc

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Nanny Bans, Then Unbans Pigs

Nanny is a tortured soul, she frets 24 hours a day about the offence that may be given to every single person living in Britain by even the most harmless of remark or action.

In Nanny's world it is always better, and easier, to ban something; lest it cause offence, rather than to allow freedom of speech and freedom of action.

Why?

In my view there are two main reasons for this approach:

1 Nanny fears freedom of thought and action, as of course they undermine her rule

2 Nanny is intellectually lazy and doesn't have the time or ability to justify "controversial" actions, therefore she takes the easy option and bans things.

Here is a particularly fine example of Nanny stupidity, concerning a simple school festival that turned into a battle between common sense and utter stupidity.

Honley Junior School in West Yorkshire was to perform the Roald Dahl story of Little Red Riding Hood and the three little pigs. However, Nanny didn't approve of this and instructed the school to substitute puppies for pigs.

Why?

Isn't it obvious?

Nanny decided that some of the Muslim children singing about pigs would be embarrassed.

Can anyone tell me, at what stage did Britain become an Islamic Kalifate?

Needless to say, there has been a right old hoo ha about this senseless decision, and Kirklees Council has stepped in and authorised the use of pigs in the show.

As ever with deranged decisions, the order to ban the pigs was made by a committee. You see folks in committees no one ever has to take responsibility for acts of utter stupidity, and as such the dimmest and most spiteful of people on the committee manage to get their views acted upon.

Gill Goodswen, who is one of the organisers of the Kirklees Primary Music festival behind the changes, said:

"We have to be sensitive if we want to be multi-cultural.

It was felt it would be more responsible

not to use the three little pigs."

She said the committee had to consider the feelings of children who would be singing along, not just the performers.

"We feared that some Muslim children wouldn't sing along

to the words about pigs.

We didn't want to take that risk.

If changing a few words avoids offence

then we will do so."

Feeble minded people like this, who don't stand up for common sense, allow bullies and extremists to pervert our way of life; she should be reomved from office...PERIOD!

Mohammed Imran, of the nearby Hanfia Mosque and Educational Institute, said that Islam does not ban the mentioning of pigs.

Philip Davies, the Conservative MP for Shipley, said:

"My view is that the people responsible for this

are completely bonkers. It is the type of political correctness

which makes people's blood boil.

As usual it is done in the name of ethnic minorities

but it is perpetrated by white, middle class,

do-gooders with a guilt complex

and far too much time on their hands."

Kirklees council education spokesman, Jim Dodds, stepped up to the mark (to his credit) and said the idea was bollocks:

"There is something barmy going on here

and it has happened on my watch.

I can tell you now that the three little pigs

will be back into the school musical festival.

The decision (to ban the pigs)

was made by well-meaning people -

it was the wrong decision,

so let's stick with the traditions."

Good for him!

The festival is due to take place in June.

Re "well meaning people", these people should not be allowed out on their own, they cause more trouble and division in society than enough; because they spend their lives looking for fault in everything around them they are sad losers, willing to do Nanny's dirty work.

Convince a little man that he is performing a great task for humanity, and he will walk through fire for you.