Auntie's Reporter Calls For UK To Be Chav Free

How very odd, one of Auntie's technology reporters (Dave Lee) has tweeted a call for Leicester Square to be euthanised every Saturday night in order for the UK to become "chav free".

Don't believe me?

Here is his Tweet:

"Leicester Square is a moron magnet. We should euthanise it every saturday for the next year, and the UK will be chav free."

Let's see how long that is allowed to stay before Auntie orders him to remove it.

Hat tip to Guido for spotting it.


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Porn Matters - Cameron Talks Bollocks

I see that Nanny, in the form of David Cameron, is keen to introduce new controls over what people do with their computers at home.

Seemingly, if these plans come to fruition, Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.

In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.

ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography.

Here's why the idea is bollocks:

1 Kids are very adept at using the net, it will take the average teenager approximately 30 seconds to use a proxy to overcome and firewall.

2 Who decides on what constitutes porn?

3 It is a further step towards censoring the internet.

4 Parents who care about what their kids look at on the net should simply place the kid's pc in the main family room, rather than let them skulk away upstairs with it behind a locked door. Parents who don't care what their kids look at will simply lie when asked if they have kids.

It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations.

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Nanny's Child Catcher

I see that Michael Gove has called for hundreds more vulnerable children a year to be taken into care, and for an end to "preoccupation with rights of biological parents".

Would these be the same sort of "care homes" that allow kids to disappear for days on end, and the same sort of "care homes" that are being referred to in the ongoing Savilegate scandal?

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Danish Nanny Repeals Fat Tax

As loyal readers know, Nanny likes to tax things that she doesn't approve of (eg booze and fags).

She claims that the tax reduces the demand for these "evil" vices, yet the more "worldly wise" of us know full well that she makes a nice little living out of the revenues raised by these taxes.

Anyhoo, as loyal readers are also aware Nanny often bleats about the harm we are doing ourselves by eating fat; on occasions there have been calls by Nanny's special little chums for a fat tax to be imposed.

Step forward Denmark which last year did just that.

Hmmmm...

But......

One year on and the Danes have just repealed that tax.

For why?

It was harming the economy and, rather "bizarrely", has caused a spike in the demand for butter.

The Wall Street Journal quotes Mette Gjerskov, the minister for food, agriculture and fisheries:

"The fat tax is one of the most maligned we [have] had in a long time.

Now we have to try improving the public health by other means."

Now here's the thing that rather nails the lie that Nanny spins when she claims that the taxes are there for our own good, the fat tax netted an estimated €170M in 2012 in new revenue. Danish Nanny doesn't want to lose this increased revenue stream, so she will be raising income taxes and reduce personal tax deductions to offset the lost revenue.

So much for the lie that the taxes were meant to be for our own good!

Ha!

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Nanny Bans Signs

I am gemused to see that even Nanny has finally recognised that some of her road signs are complete and utter bollocks.

Patrick McLoughlin (Nanny's Transport Secretary) recently said that Nanny is working on new guidance for local councils and highways officials on reducing sign clutter.

He is quoted by the Telegraph:

“Too many country roads carry a reminder of how insensitive planners can be to the aesthetics of transport design with the ugly and unnecessary signage that clutters up the network. 

New signs are added without any apparent consideration of existing ones or what’s needed. And then there are those ‘temporary’ yellow signs saying ‘new road layout ahead’ that are left to rot for years.

Often what we’re left with is not just a blot on the landscape. It’s also something that’s confusing and dangerous.

The combined effect of these changes will be to give authorities and designers much greater freedom to declutter and simplify country junctions. 

And I want to make sure that they use it. So my message today to Highways engineers is: if in doubt, don’t do it. Save your money for something that matters.” 

His intentions may well be noble. Unfortunately, as we know, local councils tend to ignore "guidance" from Nanny (unless it adds to their revenue collecting powers).

Feel free to post your examples of useless road signs.

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Halcyon Days

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