Nanny's Fear of a Leap In The Dark

As we are set to endure four months of 24/7 media/political hysteria over the forthcoming EU referendum, may I make one wee observation re Cameron's daily warning about "leaps in the dark"?

This country made its fortune, and survived continental domination, by taking leaps in the dark and not playing safe!

History remembers the bold, not the faint hearted!

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Cameron Overrules Pope

Following on from an attempt by God (via the Pope) to limit freedom of speech, David Cameron has come out in defence of freedom of speech and the right to offend.

He was speaking on CBS when in the USA last week, and is quoted by the BBC:

"I think in a free society, there is a right to cause offence about someone's religion. 

I'm a Christian - if someone says something offensive about Jesus, I might find that offensive, but in a free society I don't have a right to, sort of, wreak my vengeance on them."

Good for him!

I doubt that will have gone down well with the Christian fundamentalists over there; whose priority appears to be to bring about the "Rapture" as quickly as possible, by whatever means possible.

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Family Guy Cameron

David Cameron

In the bad old days of the Labour government all policies were "vetted" for their impact on children; ie Nanny wanted all departments to be child centric.

Now that we have a coalition, nothing has changed. Cameron is now calling for all government policies to pass a "family test".

Nanny Cameron is of the view that parents and children are too often overlooked and can be left worse off by reforms. As from October, every new domestic policy "will be examined for its impact on the family".

As per the BBC:

"I want every government department to be held to account for the impact of their policies on the family."

Ugh, this is nothing more than a rehash of Labour's child centric policy which achieved bugger all aside from increased bureaucracy.

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Porn In Parliament

I am hugely gemused to see that our governing class and their servants, whilst "beavering" away in Parliament for the "good" of their voters, have managed to find the time to access porn sites on the internet.

The BBC reports that more than 300,000 attempts were made to access pornographic websites at the Houses of Parliament in the past year.

The data was released following a Freedom of Information request by Huffington Post UK, which published the story with the headline Oh Yes, Minister! 

Now the really gemusing thing is that our "beloved" governing class has been banging on about introducing pron filters etc for the rest of us, as we are deemed not able to handle seeing people's naughty bits. Yet our elected representatives believe that they should be able to see naughty bits.

As per a parliamentary spokesperson quoted in the Huffington Post:

"We are not going to restrict Parliamentarians' ability to carry out research."

One rule for the governing class and another for the governed, 'twas ever thus!

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To Be Or Not To Be Filtered?

I am gemused to see that Nanny's plans for filtering the internet of all "vile filth and debauchery" (as defined by her) have been proven to be absurd, as per a wee incident that occurred in the British Library the other day.

Mark Frosyth, an author, was researching Hamlet for a book that he is writing and needed to check a line from it using the library's wi-fi network.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, he was denied access to an online version of Shakespeare's Hamlet because the text contained "violent content".

The British Library said the fault was caused by a newly installed wi-fi service from a third-party provider.

A spokesperson for the British Library, as per the BBC, said Hamlet had since been made accessible.

"The upgraded service has a web filter to ensure that inappropriate content cannot be viewed on-site.

We've received feedback from a number of users about sites which were blocked, but shouldn't have been. We're in the process of tweaking the service to unblock these sites."

The British Library defended its position, saying that it wanted to protect children visiting the building from content "such as pornography and gambling websites".

That's all very well and dandy, but the point of the British Library is to have an accessible record of everything that is legal. In fact, ever since 2011, the British Library has been archiving all my sites for future generations of researchers etc.

On the subject of debauchery etc, that seems to vex Cameron and others, I wonder if he and his internet filtering chums have ever read the Bible?

I ask because it contains a veritable smorgasbord of debauchery, lust, rape, sex, sodomy, violence and the sin of Onan (the modern day equivalent practised by some users of the net casting their seed upon their keyboards).

Will Cameron and the British Library be filtering the Bible?

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Nanny Bans Porn

I see that Cameron is to make a speech today in which he will say that every internet user in the country will be asked whether they want to have access to pornography; ie there will be an automatic block on porn until the users tell their ISPs that they want the block removed.

Anyone care to define "porn"; eg will those searching for pictures of "Blue Tits" be banned from viewing the images?

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Hoozah!

I am pleased to hear that Cameron thinks that we have a "relatively honest" police force!

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EC U Turn On Olive Oil Ban?

On Monday I awarded the EC a well deserved Prats of The Week Award, for their knobheaded plans to ban olive oil jugs and dipping bowls from restaurants.

Well now, four days is a long time in politics, it seems that there will be a statement by Commissioner Cioloş about olive oil at midday today.

Could it be that the Gnomes of Brussels are about to perform a U turn?

We shall see!

Oh and by the way, despite Cameron's public criticism of this absurd ban, it seems that the UK approved it by abstaining.

As per the Telegraph:

"It is understood that the British decision to abstain during the EU vote, effectively opening the door to the ban, was taken by a head of department level official in the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, raising questions over whether ministerial consent was given."

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Nanny Bans Public Porn

I see that Nanny Cameron has said that he will ban Wi-fi from accessing porn in public places, lest kids et al access it.

All very jolly, maybe.

However, I have a couple of questions:

1 What is Nanny's definition of porn?

2 What is Nanny's definition of a public place, eg is a hotel (and by definition its bedrooms) a public place?

Teenagers know more about overriding blocks and controls than adults and the state, this ludicrous idea will fail before it is even enacted!

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Booze Matters - Minimum Pricing For Westminster

It occurs to me that there is one place where it may be wise for Nanny Cameron to introduce minimum prices on alcohol.

Where would that be?

In the bars of Westminster of course!

For why?

It seems that our elected "members" (use that word in whatever sense you wish) cannot hold their taxpayer subsidised booze.

Step forward Eric Joyce!

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A Remarkably Stupid Idea - Drinks All Round!

I am hugely gemused to see that Nanny's absurd plans for minimum booze prices have fallen apart.

Cameron's daft idea (he seems to make plans on the hoof without ever thinking them through) has been kicked into touch by the Treasury.

For why?

It would reduce tax receipts.

As per a source in the Treasury:

"A remarkably stupid idea”. 

Aside from the Treasury's views wrt tax revenues, I have written many times before about why this idea is bollocks; here, for example, is what I wrote in November 2012:

"As I have noted many times before, this will not work:

1 People will brew their own illegal hooch.

2 Hardened drinkers will continue to buy booze.

3 It will encourage more binge drinking on cheaper shite.

4 It is the thin end of the wedge, as Nanny will continue to increase the minimum price.

5 It will be used as an excuse to set minimum prices for other "vices" that Nanny disapproves of.

6 It will be used by the single issue obsessives as an excuse to launch a moral crusade against alcohol and to try to ban it altogether.

Meanwhile Nanny continues to enjoy taxpayer subsidised booze in Westminster!

This is simply a method used by Nanny to raise revenue to pay for her perks, privileges and lifestyle.

This is not Conservatism with a small "c", this is state dictatorship infringing on our rights to live our lives as we wish to.

Cameron is not a Conservative, he is a state interventionist."

Meanwhile there has been no official announcement yet from Nanny about the fact that the plan has been abandoned.

Drinks all round!


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Nanny Bans Wanking Again

On Monday I wrote the following:

"In November I wrote about Nanny Cameron's plans for ISP's to block on porn sites:

"Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.
In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.
ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography."

I noted that the plan was of course bollocks and wouldn't work:

"It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations."

Less than one month on, and I am gemused to see that Nanny Cameron has vetoed the idea.

For why?

1 Parents who were "consulted" on the matter said that they didn't want it and, quite correctly, asserted that it was up to them NOT THE STATE to govern their children.

2 Nanny realised that the plan was bollocks and wouldn't work, it would in fact end up censoring/blocking sites that are designed to help children wrt sex etc.

3 The "danger" of the interent to children lies not so much with bums and boobies, but with those individuals (adults and children) who use it to bully/abuse others (hence parents would be wise to remind their kids not to talk to strangers.....as I was always told in an era gazillions of years before the internet).

So there we are folks, Nanny Cameron was told that the plan was bollocks and we can, for the moment, continue to wank ourselves unconscious in the privacy of our own home when using the net."

However, those of you who rushed out to buy a lorry load of Kleenex may well be disappointed. As I went on to warn:

"..make the most of it whilst you can, as ever with Nanny and her acolytes she doesn't like it when her plans are thwarted. The NSPCC is already trying to rubbish the consultation, by claiming that parents' voices were not properly heard (I assume they mean the voices of those parents who agree with Nanny's plans).

This isn't over!"

Well blinkey, blonkey, blimey less than five days on an Nanny Cameron has changed his mind and decided to ban it after all!

I knew he would cave in to pressure from various self appointed Nannytype bodies and change his mind, but I never thought he would so so in less than five days!

Utterly pathetic!

What was the point of consulting people if their views are to be ignored?

Anyone want to buy a tonne of Kleenex?

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Nanny Sanctions Wanking

In November I wrote about Nanny Cameron's plans for ISP's to block on porn sites:

"Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.

In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.

ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography."

I noted that the plan was of course bollocks and wouldn't work:

"It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations."

Less than one month on, and I am gemused to see that Nanny Cameron has vetoed the idea.

For why?

1 Parents who were "consulted" on the matter said that they didn't want it and, quite correctly, asserted that it was up to them NOT THE STATE to govern their children.

2 Nanny realised that the plan was bollocks and wouldn't work, it would in fact end up censoring/blocking sites that are designed to help children wrt sex etc.

3 The "danger" of the interent to children lies not so much with bums and boobies, but with those individuals (adults and children) who use it to bully/abuse others (hence parents would be wise to remind their kids not to talk to strangers.....as I was always told in an era gazillions of years before the internet).

So there we are folks, Nanny Cameron was told that the plan was bollocks and we can, for the moment, continue to wank ourselves unconscious in the privacy of our own home when using the net.

However, make the most of it whilst you can, as ever with Nanny and her acolytes she doesn't like it when her plans are thwarted. The NSPCC is already trying to rubbish the consultation, by claiming that parents' voices were not properly heard (I assume they mean the voices of those parents who agree with Nanny's plans).

This isn't over!

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Booze Matters - Nanny's Minimum Pricing Plan

As I have stated many times before on this site (and indeed some of my other sites), Nanny is broke.

Sadly, unlike you and I when we find ourselves short of money, instead of tightening her belt Nanny chooses the easy option and raises taxes and fines (ie Nanny screws the citizens of the UK in order that she may continue to enjoy the privileges of power to which she has become accustomed).

An easy source of revenue for Nanny is the taxation levied on booze (given that she drinks in taxpayer subsidised bars in Westminster this tax doesn't impact her lifestyle one iota).

Therefore today Cameron (the man who was happily drinking champers the other day in Brussels at £120 per bottle) is launching a consultation on minimum booze pricing (45p per unit).

The plans would not just put the price of "shite" booze up (as claimed by Nanny), but the price of normal drink (eg G&T) would also rise. Gin is expected to rise by 20%, and whisky by 10%.

Multi-buy offers would also be banned under the proposals.

Nanny claims that the price rises are designed to impact the cost of premium strength booze, drunk by those she regards as "scum".

She is lying, these proposals will increase the price of booze for us all.

As I have noted many times before, this will not work:

1 People will brew their own illegal hooch.

2 Hardened drinkers will continue to buy booze.

3 It will encourage more binge drinking on cheaper shite.

4 It is the thin end of the wedge, as Nanny will continue to increase the minimum price.

5 It will be used as an excuse to set minimum prices for other "vices" that Nanny disapproves of.

6 It will be used by the single issue obsessives as an excuse to launch a moral crusade against alcohol and to try to ban it altogether.

Meanwhile Nanny continues to enjoy taxpayer subsidised booze in Westminster!

This is simply a method used by Nanny to raise revenue to pay for her perks, privileges and lifestyle.

This is not Conservatism with a small "c", this is state dictatorship infringing on our rights to live our lives as we wish to.

Cameron is not a Conservative, he is a state interventionist.
 

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Porn Matters - Cameron Talks Bollocks

I see that Nanny, in the form of David Cameron, is keen to introduce new controls over what people do with their computers at home.

Seemingly, if these plans come to fruition, Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.

In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.

ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography.

Here's why the idea is bollocks:

1 Kids are very adept at using the net, it will take the average teenager approximately 30 seconds to use a proxy to overcome and firewall.

2 Who decides on what constitutes porn?

3 It is a further step towards censoring the internet.

4 Parents who care about what their kids look at on the net should simply place the kid's pc in the main family room, rather than let them skulk away upstairs with it behind a locked door. Parents who don't care what their kids look at will simply lie when asked if they have kids.

It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations.

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Booze Matters - Nanny Tries To Save Pensioners

Pass the sick bag someone, I see that Nanny is now having a go at the drinking habits of pensioners.

The BBC's Panorama programme, no doubt at the behest of Nanny, decided to ask Sheffield University to model the effects of a 50p per unit minimum price.

Statisticians estimated the effect would be 50,000 fewer alcohol-related deaths in England among over 65s, over the course of 10 years.

Suffice to say this will now feature on next Monday's Panorama which airs ("oddly" enough) at the same time as Andrew Lansley (who thought minimum pricing was bollocks) has been sacked and the Home Orifice is saying the following:

 "We will introduce a minimum unit price for alcohol, ensuring for the first time that alcohol can only be sold at a sensible and appropriate price. 

The proposal has the backing of the Royal College of Physicians and the Association of Chief Police Officers and could mean 50,000 fewer crimes and around 900 fewer alcohol related deaths per year by the end of the decade.

We will consult on the level of minimum unit price in the autumn.” 

There you have it ladies and gentlemen, Nanny has made her mind up and is using the BBC to do her dirty work for her by pre empting a "hue and cry" over pensioner deaths from alcohol.

In the programme, according to the Telegraph, Sarah Wadd, director of the Substance Misuse and Ageing Research Team at the University of Bedfordshire, says:

“We might be on a cusp of an epidemic of people drinking problematically in old age.”

"We might be"???

That doesn't sound very scientific to me!

Dr Richard Aspinall, a liver specialist at Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth, said:

"We think of a very visible social disorder, consequences of young people binge drinking on a Saturday night in our town centres but what’s much more hidden is quiet, below the radar drinking at home and it’s very easy for people to drink more than they are actually aware of, to get above the safe limits.”

FFS!

Nanny pretends to be concerned about the welfare of pensioners, that makes me puke!

Were Nanny to be really so concerned about pensioners welfare and well being, she would address the following issues:

- The lousy level of pensions
- The disgraceful "quality" of care being provided to the elderly by public and private healthcare organisations
- Discrimination being practised against the elderly by the NHS in terms of speed and quality of treatments offered
- The patronising treatment of the elderly by society as a whole, and most specifically the state
- The right to assisted death with dignity, as and when someone (not necessarily elderly) wants it etc.

Nanny will not address these issues, instead she will focus on Cameron's fetish of minimum alcohol pricing.

As and when I start to enter my final years I can assure you that the thought of ending up in one of Nanny's homes, on a drip wallowing in my own shit, unwashed uncared for will most certainly drive me to drink.

I want no part Nanny's system for the elderly and will most assuredly (if I am still physically/mentally able) end my days with dignity with a bottle of vodka and a box of pills before Nanny can get her bony hands on me!

This country offers elderly people nothing but misery to look forward to, Nanny should be subsidising their drink not taxing it!

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Cameron Leaves Child in Pub

I am hugely gemused to see that, on the day that the Communities Secretary Eric Pickles is promoting a scheme to give English councils a financial incentive to deal with Nanny's "troubled families", it emerges that David and Samantha Cameron left their eight-year-old daughter, Nancy, in the Plough Inn at Cadsden after having Sunday lunch.

Nancy, if the story is to be believed, spent about 15 minutes at the Plough Inn before Cameron returned to collect her. Number 10 says the couple were "distraught" when they realised Nancy was not with them.

I seem to recall that Nanny hauls some parents into court over child abandonment, I assume she will be doing the same here?

Anyhoo, disregarding the hoo hah that this "oversight" has caused, I fail to see why some people have got so worked up over an eight year old being left in a perfectly respectable/safe pub during the day.

When I was a kid my parents would sometimes go to a pub for an hour and leave me in the car in the car park. I was perfectly happy with that, as every fifteen minutes or so, one of them or their chums would come out to say hello and bring me sausages, pasties, pies and cans of coke.

It did me no harm, I was taught (as all kids were then) not to speak to strangers etc so I would never have been dimwitted enough to roll the window down if a stranger ever approached (which they never did anyway), and a good time was had by all!

FYI, on the subject of speaking to strangers, had the internet been around then I would have also been taught not to be idiotic enough to speak online to strangers (not that my father would have given me access to the net at that age anyway!).

Sadly now thanks to Nanny's penchant for interfering in family life, and her ban on hot cabinets in pubs (this means there are very few pubs that now serve pies and sausages as snacks), such a thing can no longer occur.

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Nan Cam

Loyal readers have been noting with increasing vexation that the Tory party has turned into a bit of a Nanny.

Well now it seems that this is indeed the case, as David Cameron has himself donned the mantle of "Nan Cam", and defended Nanny's plans for giving parents with children under the age of five £100 vouchers to attend parenting classes.

Nan Cam is quoted by the BBC:

"This is not the nanny state - it's the sensible state.

It's ludicrous that we should expect people to train for hours to drive a car or use a computer, but when it comes to looking after a baby we tell people to just get on with it.

I would have loved more guidance when my children were babies."

The vouchers are now available from health professionals and through Boots.

Nanny is also launching a new NHS online service for parents covering areas such as breastfeeding, nappy changing and post natal depression.

Expectant parents or those with a baby under a month old will be able to sign up for text and email alerts, providing them with "regular, relevant and tailored" advice including short government information films (remember those?) and advice from other parents.

This is all very well and good, maybe. The trouble is with any government "initiative", it ends up being used as an excuse to gather data on people and to pry into their private lives with the express intention of telling them how they should live their lives.

Good intentions or not, people simply do not trust the state not to overstep the mark.

I wrote about this last year:

"Poorer parents will be “incentivised” to attend courses to help them complete the “five-a-day” essential actions. They will be rewarded for attending classes with higher child benefit payments or annual bonuses.

Doubtless with all this nonsense being spoken about "moral decay" (hasn't Cameron ever looked at Hogarth's prints?), this campaign will receive even more prominence.

However, as noted above, normal parents (poor/wealthy) know perfectly well that they should play with, read to, engage...oh, and FEED! their children; they don't need the state to interfere in that.

In fact the more that the state seeks to interfere, the more people assume that it is in fact the state's responsibility to bring up their kids.

However, the "court absent" parents and those who think it normal that their "good little boy" carried a hammer taped to his leg whilst robbing a store (ie those who need to improve their parenting skills) will not take the slightest bit of notice of Nanny's advice ."

This will end in tears, as people will assume that it is the state's responsibility to bring up their kids!

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Nanny Cameron Bans Beyonce

Dear oh dear, the Tory Party appears to be regressing to the 1950's in its Canute like reaction to "raunchy" pop videos; as it has had an attack of the "Samantha Bricks" (ie it has completely lost touch with reality).

Nanny Cameron, instead of focusing on issues that really matter (eg wars in the Middle East, austerity, care for the elderly, the Motorman Blue Book) has decided to focus his energies on banning "raunchy" pop videos.

Nanny Cameron has decreed that people under  the age of 18 should not watch scantily clad attractive people gyrate in suggestive manners on videos. He wants the videos classified (in the same manner as films), and for sites that host them to bar under 18's from watching them.

May I ask Nanny Cameron, have you ever watched one of these videos, or is this rather like the pasty that you never really ate?

Factoid: children/teenagers getting sweaty and excited over "raunch" is nothing new, and not a threat to society (whatever the state might try to tell us).

Children/teenagers/adults being subjected to a daily bombardment of violence in soaps and on the TV news is likely to be far more damaging.

I appreciate that Nanny has had a self inflicted lousy few weeks; what with  the "Granny Tax", Pastygate, private dinners, government surveillance etc etc. However, using this as an attempt to divert people's attention from these and other issues is absolutely pathetic and indicates that Nanny has completely lost touch with reality. 

For fark's sake Tories get your act together!

Oh, and for good measure, I see that another person who has never lived in the real world (namely the Duchess of Cornwall) has also decreed that raunchy videos (which she has never watched) are bad for us!

Censorship is Nanny's favourite weapon!

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Big Brother - Here Comes The Wind!

In May 2008 I wrote:

"I see that Nanny's much "respected" and "efficient" Home Orifice is considering plans to build a humongous database to store the details of every phone call made, every email sent and every web page visited by British citizens in the previous year.

Oh yes, this will work!

Nanny says that this will help her in her fight against terrorism and crime. Well, she always says that.

From what I recall the invasion of Iraq was meant to make the world a safer place from terrorism too, but that plan was a complete load of old bollocks as well.

The Home Orifice has already approached telecoms firms and internet service providers (ISPs), they would be the ones providing Nanny with their customer records if the plans go ahead."

At the time we were ruled by Labour Nanny, and both the Tories and Liberals opposed the plans for email and call monitoring.

Well here we are in 2012, under a Tory/Liberal coalition government and guess what?

Yes, they now want to do the very same thing!

Terrorism is used as Nanny's catch all excuse to cover all of her rapidly expanding surveillance requirements. In truth, our lives are not being blighted on a daily basis by terrorism but by "low level" crime (yobbery, thuggery, robbery, scummy behaviour etc). These are the issues that need to be addressed.

In this volte face, we see politicians revealing their true nature; dishonest, power hungry snoopers.

There are some Tories, such as David Davis, who oppose this nonsense:

 “What this does is make (existing problems) 60 million times worse. The simple truth is that this is not necessary. What’s proposed here is completely unfettered access to every single communication you make.

It’s a very, very big widening of powers which will be very much resented by many citizens who do not like the idea. It’s going to cause enormous resentment."

However, even if we manage to stop this, I am afraid far worse is coming.

Ladies and Gentlemen I present project Stellar Wind (due to go live in 2013):

"Its purpose: to intercept, decipher, analyze, and store vast swaths of the world’s communications as they zap down from satellites and zip through the underground and undersea cables of international, foreign, and domestic networks. The heavily fortified $2 billion center should be up and running in September 2013.

Flowing through its servers and routers and stored in near-bottomless databases will be all forms of communication, including the complete contents of private emails, cell phone calls, and Google searches, as well as all sorts of personal data trails—parking receipts, travel itineraries, bookstore purchases, and other digital “pocket litter.”....

Everybody’s a target; everybody with communication is a target.”

Good luck everyone, we are entering an era where will be watched, monitored and manipulated by the state as never before!

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