Bollocks Research

A new estimate says Britons drink 12m more bottles of wine each week than earlier estimated by someone else. Science imitates pub debates

— Martin Baccardax (@mdbaccardax) May 22, 2015

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Censorship Coming

I see that Theresa May wants to turn Ofcom into a pre-broadcast censor, by giving it new powers to take pre-emptive action against programmes that included “extremist content”.

This will not end well!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Joys of Insurance

In this risk averse age I am always gemused that people, councils etc rush to insure themselves against all and sundry fates. Yet the insurance companies themselves do all they can to avoid paying out when misfortune strikes.

One would be tempted to ask what is the farking point of insurance?

On that note I was particularly gemused to read the terms and conditions of a travel insurance policy, specifically the very limited number of circumstances under which the insurance firm would pay out to cover costs if the trip were cancelled.

In essence there are very few circumstances under which the company would cover cancellation costs. However, they do generously cede that the death of the insured traveller pre departure is one circumstance that would justify payout for a cancelled trip!

Don't you just love insurance companies?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Fines For Tardiness

I see that Nanny has come up with a wizard wheeze for raising money, namely fining parents of kids who are persistently late for school up to £60.

Ker Farking Ching!

Easy money!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The Dangers of Rulers

My commiserations to Kyron Bradley (9 years old) who found himself on the wrong end of Nanny's risk aversion recently.

His crime?

Using a broken ruler as a sword in a playground games of  "knights and dragons".

We used to use full length umbrellas when I was a nipper, rather more dangerous I would have thought than a broken ruler.

Anyhoo, you can all guess what happened next.

His mum was called to the school (George's Bickley CE Primary School, Bromley, Kent) to see the head, and it was explained to Kyron that the game was dangerous.

Fair enough, in this modern world that such a modest game be frowned upon?

Not really, but for Kyron it then got worse.

A couple of days later the police also came along to the school to explain why it was dangerous.

Am I so out of touch with risk to find that this seems a tad over the top?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Prats of The Week - Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust

My thanks to a loyal reader, who advised me about some really prattish behaviour by Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust concerning Max Hurry (a normal five-year-old boy).

It seems that Nanny's health Gestapo deemed Max to be overweight, and decreed that he should go to fat club.

The fact is Max is not fat, he is 3ft 6in tall and weighs 3st 3lb.

The Mirror quotes the letter that his parents received:

“These results suggest that your child’s weight to height ratio, in line with their age and sex, is a concern.

Excess weight can lead to serious health problems.

In short this can effect psychological wellbeing (bullying and low self-esteem), asthma and early onset of diabetes.

Your GP would like to help and will soon be contacting you to invite your child and family to attend a Healthy Lifestyle Review.” 

"Lifestyle Review"!! 

What farking bollocks!

It seems that the letter was prompted by Nanny's National Child Measurement Programme which uses that bollocks KPI, that is derided by all and sundry, BMI.

The Trust is unapologetic:

“We contact families to let them know if their child is eligible. Unless they tell us they do not wish to be contacted, their GP will invite them to the lifestyle review.”

Fark off, the kid's not fat!

Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries