Nanny's Cardboard Cops

Nanny is very worked up about the increase in violent criminal behaviour in Britain. Not least because it negatively impacts her crime statistics.

One method of reducing criminal activity, or at least making people feel safer, is that of putting more "bobbies on the beat".

However, Nanny already has 7 million people working for her (such as community support officers, you know those people in funny blue uniforms who act like policemen but aren't); and frankly cannot afford to employ more front line staff, such as police on the beat, especially when she has a whole host of expensive new bureaucratic and middle management places that are to be created.

Therefore she has come up with the next best alternative.

Cardboard cut-out cops!

Yes that's right, cardboard cut-out cops.

Two of these new additions to Nanny's forces have been stationed in the A&E department of York district Hospital, in an attempt to deter violent behaviour against staff.

The cut outs have been supplied by the Safer York Partnership.

Now please don't snigger, that's very rude, the cut-outs have actually had some effect. They have increased public awareness about the issue of violent attacks on hospital staff.

Unfortunately, since being introduced 8 months ago, they have made no difference at all to the number of assaults on staff.

In other words they are inneffective.

Erm, isn't it the idea of these things that they should reduce the number of attacks?

To my mind, there is really rather a simple method to reduce the number of attacks on staff by patients.

Don't treat the violent patients, throw them out of the hospital and let them suffer/die.

It's cheap, simple and 100% effective.

I think that would get the message home to these violent morons pretty quickly.