Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Nanny's Gestapo

Nanny's Gestapo
Nanny really hates smoking, maybe she had an unfortunate experience with a cigarette in her childhood?

Anyhoo, as we all know, Nanny is implementing new powers effectively criminalising smoking in public.

Now banning something is all well and good, but actually policing and enforcing the ban is another matter.

That would require some considerable resources.

As we all know the police are already working flat out chasing those who drive too fast; they then have to worry about lesser offences, such as burglary and robbery, before they could even hope to enforce a smoking ban.

Have no fear, Nanny has a cunning plan.

Nanny's new best friend, Caroline Flint, the Reich health minister has announced an "intelligence-led approach to enforcing the law".

What precisely does Frau Flint actually mean by "intelligence-led"?

Well, in a nut shell, Frau Flint will recruit a network of informers who will be encouraged to report breaches the ban in places such as; company smoking rooms, bus shelters and the outsides of office blocks made no-smoking areas.

Those who transgress will be fined £50.

There will also be penalties for companies that fail to display "No Smoking" signs in areas newly outlawed.

Establishments that attract repeated complaints could be subject to "sting" operations by council enforcers.

Frau Flint confirmed that the policy would be vigorously enforced, with the assistance of informers from the public.

The Reich Minister went on to say:

"I don't think we are talking about brigades of people out on the streets..What we are talking about is an intelligence-led approach to enforcing the law."

The Reich Minister will place the burden of enforcement on councils, which will receive extra money for the task; with informers calling a telephone hotline manned by officials at the town hall.

Those of you with even a rudimentary knowledge of history will recall that this form of "intelligence gathering" formed the bedrock for the Third Reich. People were encouraged to inform on each other; as such political debate was stifled, as no one could trust their friends neighbour's or families.

The system was used by many to pursue private vendettas and to pay off old scores. The same will happen here.

Nanny has gone too far this time.

It is now up to us all to ensure that this disgusting proposal is wrecked, and made to be unworkable, by overloading the system with false reports of smoking.

Those of you who wish to raise the above issues with Reich Minister Flint should email her at


  1. As well as overloading the system with false reports, how about also overloading with genuine reports of government employees breaking the same rules.

  2. Chris3:59 PM

    I think I've decided to take up smoking again.

    It's been close, last week I saw a headline describing this ban as inevitable. That sort of language really motivates me to go in the opposite direction.

    And from the Telegraph
    "Herbal cigarettes will not be covered by the ban.

    Asked what would happen if someone claimed that his or her cigarette was herbal, she said it would be possible for those enforcing the law to take air samples."

    Air samples for ##### sake spend some money catching, oh I don't know REAL CRIMINALS. Or was ms Flint planing on using cardboard cutouts to deter smoking.

  3. When I read this in the paper I sent a message to ReichMarshall Flint saying that I had begun to smoke a pipe during the war and I would continue to do so wherever and whenever I wanted.
    I am now awaiting the before dawn banging on the door, followd by the tramp of jackboots before being led away to some correction centre.
    And to think that our comrades fought and died to prevent this sort of thing
    Welcome to Blair's Britain.

  4. pauline9:41 PM

    I am not a smoker but reading this wants me to light up straight away and to hell with my asthma!
    The idea that people are to be encouraged to sneak and inform is horrific.

    Smoking today...what will be next ?

  5. pauline9:41 PM

    I am not a smoker but reading this wants me to light up straight away and to hell with my asthma!
    The idea that people are to be encouraged to sneak and inform is horrific.

    Smoking today...what will be next ?

  6. I think smoking is a disgusting habit, however I'm fed up of seeing smokers pilloried when a far more dangerous form of air pollution is apparently going unnoticed.

    The average smoker produces about 4 litres of biodegradable fumes every minute. On the other hand a medium sized car travelling at 60mph produces around 10,000 litres of toxic, highly carcinogenic, evil smelling filth during the same period. If we really do want to clean up the air, let's start by cracking down on the biggest polluter - the car.