Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekThis week's prestigious Prat of The Week Award goes to the good people of Camden Council, or rather their parking control department (or whatever they choose to call it).

I am sure that the hapless driver of a Meyers of Stratford lorry will agree with this award, as he encountered a jobsworth prat from the council in Belsize Park the other week.

The driver was travelling along a road, weakened by water from a burst main below. Then the front wheel of his truck had got stuck, axle deep, in a hole after the road collapsed beneath the vehicle.

Needless to say, the responsibility for maintaining the roads lies with the you might suggest that it was their fault.

Anyhoo, the driver the tried to shift his trapped truck. At this point a jobsworth traffic warden turned up. The good lady from the legion of wardens did what she does best, instead of helping, she provided the hapless driver with a ticket.

Rather like an old Laurel and Hardy film, a small crowd of astonished onlookers gathered to watch the "comedy" show. The driver tried in vain to explain his predicament. However, the jobsworth warden just shrugged and told him he could appeal against the fine.

Sue Melkman, a resident, said:

"It's crazy.

There was water everywhere.

It was obvious what had happened but she still wrote the ticket.

She wouldn't engage in conversation.

All she would say was, 'You can appeal'.

It's the daftest decision.

How can you give a ticket to someone who's stuck in a hole?

The woman must live in a parallel universe.

It's so ridiculous.

Everyone was laughing at her

and a few were taking pictures on their phones.

I told her she'd be a laughing stock

and it would be in the local paper but she didn't reply.

She just wrote the ticket and off she went.

The poor driver tried to reason with her,

but what can you do?

If they're going to write a ticket they just do it.

He took it very philosophically

The incident was sparked by decision from the ever respected and useful Thames Water (who leak a gazillion gallons of water every day). Dear old Thames Water had decided not to put cones around the bulging, cracked patch of road after inspecting it the previous day.

By the way, the German owners of Thames Water have decided to sell it; any takers?

One resident of the street said:

"It was really the water board's fault.

A water main burst outside my house at about 7.30pm on Thursday evening,

and at about 10 o'clock Thames Water came along to see what was happening.

I saw them with some cones in their hands,

but then they put them back in their van.

The road was bulging and cracks were appearing.

There's a fire station nearby

and I was worried the road might collapse if a fire engine went over it

but the engineers said it was fine

and they would be back to fix it the next day.

Then at 7.30 next morning a lorry came to collect a skip from my neighbour

and he just sank down into the road to his axle.

They came to fix the water main in the middle of it all

but couldn't because the lorry was on top of it

Sounds like Thames Water also deserve the Prat of The Week award.

Meyers of Stratford said:

"Camden Council said we can appeal

but what a waste of everyone's time.

Now we've got to write the letters and send off the forms.

It was absolutely obvious why the truck was there

but she still fined us.

It makes you sick

Nanny makes us all sick.

Her rules, red tape and indifference are designed to beat us into submission.

Anyhoo, congratulations to Camden Council for winning this prestigious award.

Feel free to email them via this link Camden Council, to tell them that they have won.


  1. Anonymous11:52 AM

    Not only are they Prats of the Week, they are Twats of the Week.

    Ken, I think you'd better upgrade the contest to "Prats of the Hour", as there are so many fine examples of prattery to choose from and it is a shame that a number pass us by without notice. But then you'd need a staff of 500 people ... and the bureaucracy to go with it. Suggest you outsource this to Capita.

  2. Bagpuss

    I think you meant to say Crapita?


  3. Anonymous4:40 PM

    It could have been worse. The lorry driver could have been arrested for causing criminal damage to the road...

  4. Anonymous6:14 PM

    I deliberately didn't say "Crapita", because it's "Be Nice to Rod Aldridge Week" -- just before he gets his collar felt by Yates of the Yard. Still, a few £million will make his stay at Ford Open Prison a bit more comfortable, if yesterday's news about corruption among prison officers is owt to go by.


    It's the rich wot gets the pleasure
    And the poor wot gets the blime ...

  5. I reckon that Traffic Wardens or what ever they are called now, are had brain transplants so that all they can say is "You can appeal"
    And they say that they are not on piecework

  6. Anonymous9:15 AM

    >had brain transplants

    Erm, wouldn't that imply:

    1) that they had a brain to start with

    2) that they have one after the operation


  7. Anonymous10:05 AM

    "You can appeal" is a relatively easy set of vocal sounds to teach to someone new to the language.

    Keeping it short means you can make them productive at the earliest opportunity and and enables the rest of your council staff to spend plenty of time with them plying them with handouts.

    All quite logical really.

  8. Anonymous11:18 PM

    I recall a couple of years ago a bus getting a ticket whilst stopped at a bus stop with passengers getting on. So on that basis it seems like a perfectly legitimate for some self-important, petty, bureaucratic twat to issue a ticket in this case.

    What really annoys me with these sorts of cases is that when the idiots are shamed (was going to say humbled, but they're too ignorant for that) into an apology it's always couched in terms that make it read more like "You may have won this time but we're technically right" and "We're sorry about this incident (in the sense that we got caught)"

    And why is the drone at the centre of the stupidity is always "sent for retraining"? Why are they never fired for gross incompetence?

  9. Brilliant story - any photos available?

  10. Here you go Geoff