Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, April 15, 2013

Nanny's Toilet Safety Administration

My thanks to a loyal reader who shared with me a rather bizarre lavatorial experience that he had the other day at East Grinstead railway station:
"Recently I decided to use 'the facilities' at our lovely brand spanking new railway station building in East Grinstead. 

The new building boasts 2 unisex cubicle toilet rooms, suitably equipped also for disabled passengers. However, the doors to both were locked and could only be opened by requesting assistance from a Southern Railways employee. 

So I enquired of the ticket collector at the barrier why this was so, and he informed me in all earnestness that this was down to 'new health and safety' regulations. 

I am not quite sure whose health or safety this was designed to protect, nor am I aware of any new HSE directives. 

Have you come across anything?"
Has anyone else experienced similar lavatorial health and safety issues?

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  1. If I may be of assistance and offer a translation service from Nanny speak to English.......

    Nanny Speak "It 'Elf'n'Safety mate."

    English Tranlation "Shut up and do as you're told."

    Hope this helps....Other examples of Nanny Speak phrases with a similar meaning...

    a) It's child protection.
    b) It's security mate.
    c) It's because of climate change.
    d) That's homophobic.
    e) That's Islamaphobic.
    f) It's all about equality.
    g) It's positive discrimination.

  2. Anonymous12:42 PM

    They are trying to prevent anonymous shagging in the bathroom stalls. Bus and train stations are notorious for that type of behavior at least in the US. Probably there, too.


  3. Anonymous2:48 PM

    If everyone has to go and find a railway guard each time they visit the bog, then am I right in assuming that the said person would have to hang around until you have finished your ablutions and then lock the khazi up again?

    Personally, I think I would have difficulty in having a slash, or worse still, ‘smoking a bum cigar’ if there was some numpty hanging around in a peaked cap waiting for me to finish.

    Tell me again. How much did rail fares recently rise?

  4. Lord of Atlantis10:51 AM

    Then there is the serious issue of someone with a medical condition that requires them to access the facility in a hurry. By the time they've found whoever has the key, the unfortunate individual may have had a nasty 'accident'. Under such circumstances, they may contact Claims Are Us. Still, Nany won't worry, it will be the taxpayer or rail users who will have to foot the bill, as usual!