Nanny Bans Plaster

Nanny has a morbid fear of risk, now that would be all well and good if she kept that to herself; unfortunately, she doesn't, and insists on imposing her zero risk policy on all and sundry.

There are a number of problems with a zero risk society, which I refer to as "The Immutable Laws of The Universe":

• It is impossible to achieve a state of zero risk



• The costs of trying to achieve zero risk are truly staggering, and are simply not economically viable



• Struggle gives life meaning



• Profit is the reward for risk.
  
  We live in a capitalist society, and rely on companies and individuals to earn money to make the economy work and grow. Without this growth we would still all be festering in caves.
  
  Zero risk means zero profit, which in turn means that no one would go into business and the economy would grind to a halt

Unfortunately Nanny hasn't grasped these immutable laws of the universe yet!

I am sure that Julie Scott would be inclined to agree with me, that Nanny has gone too far in trying to achieve her view of Nirvana.

Julie was called by staff at Uphill Primary School, near Weston-super-Mare Somerset, last week after her nine year old daughter Emily cut her finger.

The staff at the school have been so brainwashed by Nanny about zeroising risk, that they told Mrs Scott that local council guidelines meant that they were unable to put the sticking plaster on Emily's cut finger.

Mrs Scott had to go to the school herself to bandage her daughter's finger, and left a box of plasters by her desk in case of any further mishaps.

The school claim that strict guidelines, passed down to them from Nanny's hobgoblins in North Somerset Council, meant that they were not allowed to administer plasters.

Emily's father, Kevan, said:

"The whole saga is absolutely ridiculous.

My daughter had a tiny cut and I just cannot see the reason why a plaster couldn't be put on her finger by the staff.

I am not criticising the school at all which has always been great.

The staff I've spoken to there think the rule is stupid also.

When my wife went in to put the plaster on Emily's finger the teachers were apologising to her for having to come in.

It's a ludicrous guideline that the school seem to have been given, people should be men not mice.

Members of the Parents and Teachers Association were saying just the other day how absurd it was.

This is another example of the Nanny state

and the kind of rule that was probably drawn up by a committee

because nobody with any sense would have come up with it on their own."

The hobgoblins in North Somerset Council were not impressed with such a frank expression of opinion by one of Nanny's subjects, a troll for the council said:

"We provide broad guidelines for first aid in schools and there is no mention of using plasters.

Each child joining a school has to produce a medical declaration which includes allergies

and therefore it is down to the school to use its judgement about whether it is appropriate to use plasters or not.

This case highlights that we perhaps need to re-issue guidelines to schools to clarify the issue."

In other words they got it wrong, but being mindless lackeys were not prepared to admit that they got it wrong and blamed the school.

This case exposes Nanny's mindless zero risk policy to be the nonsense that it is. Mankind has been cutting and grazing itself for hundreds of thousands of years, yet it has survived until now.

I well recall my "yoof", when knees and elbows were regularly scrapped by tumbles in the playground. A knotted handkerchief sufficed to staunch the blood flow, and scabs were regularly picked in the following days with glee.

Go on, admit it, you all did the same!

I am now 43, fit and healthy; I managed to escape all forms of blood poisoning and long term scar tissue, despite falling foul of Nanny's current day absurd rules.

These rules will simply turn us into a nation of weaklings, unable to survive the slightest cold or cut.

Nanny, instead of zeroising risks, has issued death sentence on the next generation.