A Scottish Farce

My heart felt commiserations to the good people of Scotland who, since this weekend, have had to endure Nanny's smoking ban which has been imposed upon them by the Scottish executive.

The ban on public smoking is being interpreted in a number of ways:

• Tayside are planning to ban smoking in public parks and anywhere near schools and hospitals



• Highland Council are banning its employees from actually taking fag breaks. Seemingly "they will be doing themselves harm in company time". So drinking at lunchtime is still OK then is it?



• Edinburgh City Council will be employing undercover "narks", who will report anyone seen smoking in a public place illegally. Shades of the Third Reich methinks, where people were afraid of doing or saying anything lest their neighbour be a secret Gestapo agent

The smoking ban has been imposed, according to Nanny, to improve the health of the Scottish people. Yet the fact that Scotland has Europe's highest drug abuse problem seems to have passed Nanny by. Shouldn't she be addressing that as the key health issue?

Oh, if I may just point out one small fly in Nanny's self righteous oinkment?

It seems that Scottish ministers are paying into a pension firm that has £126m invested in the world's biggest cigarette company!

Jack McConnell, the first minister, and Andy Kerr, the health minister, will get a nice little payout from investment firm Baillie Gifford, which owns 3m shares in US-based Altria, makers of Marlboro cigarettes.

The value of Altria shares has risen by 230% in the past five years. Parliament officials believe that the £10m pension fund the firm runs for all Scottish ministers and MSPs is directly invested in tobacco firms.

A tad hypocritical of Nanny, wouldn't you say?