Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Nanny Bans Shorts

Nanny Bans Shorts

Nanny bans shorts!

This is quite the most daft ban that I have ever read Nanny trying to introduce.

Seemingly Nanny believes that shorts, when worn in a swimming pool, are threat to health and safety (pass the sick bag someone).

Therefore she has banned people from wearing them!

Needless to say the only type of person idiotic enough to come up with such a ban, naturally enough, works for a local council. Funny how all the morons and idiots end up in our "respected" local councils isn't it?. In this particularly case the local council being Harlow.

Harlow swimming pool has placed a ban on three-quarter length shorts for health and safety reasons.

A spokesman for Harlow Council confirmed all swimmers banned from the pool had received a full refund.

Harlow's Labour MP Bill Rammell thinks the whole thing is do I.


"I don't agree with this.

If it is appropriate swimwear I don't think

it is the business of the council to decide

what swimmers can and can't wear

A spokesman for Harlow Council said:

"This type of swimwear is specifically

designed for strong swimmers,

as it creates extra drag.

However it is widely sold and available

to swimmers of all abilities

who may not be aware of this.

Unfortunately we have no way of knowing

whether the people wearing these shorts

are proficient swimmers or not

when they enter the pool.

Therefore in the interests of their safety

we have introduced a dress code,

details of which are available in reception

It is not the council's business as to whether people wish to wear "dragging shorts" or not.

How many people in the UK are drowning each day because they wear shorts when they swim?

I wish that these local councils would just cease to exist!

My advice, swim naked and see what they say then!


  1. Anonymous10:35 AM

    I can forsee an amusing conflict between PC and H&S here..... remember the muslim swimwear range that was launched a few months back? Those rather voluminous items would have to be banned under the same rule that bans shorts. Are the H&S mafia brave enough to take on a religion? I suspect not.....

  2. grumpy11:04 AM

    If the ban was on the grounds of aesthetic appearance, then one would be forced to agree with the Council, since said shorts look bloody awful.

    On Ken's point about swimming naked; this would be a big problem since the drag created by unfettered testicles and stuff would probably exceed that of the shorts: is it possible that they might then ban someone for being well-hung?

  3. One might question the sexual orientation and predilection of the of the decision maker and his team on this one. Presumably they would prefer skimpy trunks rather than any form of shorts.

    Actually, since people drown in water, why have pools not yet been banned? There must be a health risk as well surely?

  4. I see on all local authority and government job application forms that they welcome applications from all people irrespective of their race, sexuality, sex, religion etc etc. I wonder if they will start putting on these same forms "We especially welcome applications from power mad idiots"
    It seems to me 'Elf & Safety officers can seriously damage your mental health and they should be banned in the real world.
    Many years ago I passed my life saving swimming award, I think it was known as a Bronze Medallion at that time, part of the test involved swimming a few lengths of the pool in pyjamas, looking back on it it makes me shudder to think how dangerous this activity must have been. I wonder if I could sue the Royal Lifesaving Society for the distress it now causes me and the danger they put me into now that I have been educated by the 'Elf & safety department from the people's republic of Harlow.

  5. grumpy4:00 PM

    It seems to me that only a very short time ago nobody could get a job as a swimming baths attendant unless they had the Bronze Medallion of which tonk speaks.

    Logically (and I know it's ridiculous to talk about logic and Councils in the same sentence) but now that no-one is going to be allowed to do anything more risky than paddling their feet [ankle-deep only] all those life guardy people should, surely, be made reduntant? They could then be re-deployed into that new Growth Industry, Community Policing.

  6. Wildswimmer Pete4:31 PM

    Problem is, if people can't get used to swimming in this type of short in a pool, how are they going to cope should they do so in open water? particularly if it's an accidental "falling in".

    Pool operators used to ban "cut-offs": shorts made by cutting off the legs of an old pair of jeans. However this was down to bits of thread and fluff from the ragged edges coming off and clogging pool filters. Perfectly justified. But banning pukka "board shorts" - ridiculous.

  7. I am not surprised about it being Harlow Council - this is the same council which is allowing a school in the area to refuse my daughter entry and education because of their unwillingness to provide care due to her disability. We are having to keep her off of school because they cannot accept her at present.

  8. Simonthe horrible4:52 AM

    Has it occoured to you Brits that the once great Britain has become a fascist police state?

  9. Jamie9:45 AM

    Imagine the shit that would hit the fan if I said women with long skirts can't walk around the office very fast therefore it's miniskirts all the way.

    I think Nanny is tring to seduce us.

  10. Lord of Atlantis11:55 AM

    "Actually, since people drown in water, why have pools not yet been banned? There must be a health risk as well surely?"

    For pity's sake, don't give these cretins ideas!

  11. Lord of Atlantis12:03 PM

    Correct me if I'm mistaken, but haven't surfers and bodyboarders (those of whom live in warmer climates than us) swam and surfed in such shorts for years, without any injuries or fatalities? I myself use such shorts (except in races when I use speedos for extra speed) and I have NEVER been injured as a result, nor felt in the slightest danger of drowning. There is far more danger of being killed or seriously injured on the roads in this country, so why can't these jobsworths bog off and leave us swimmers alone?

  12. The way blog goes it appears to me as if 'Elf & Safety officers can seriously damage your mental you must take care of it...