My sympathies to Mike Harding of Bedford, who lost his cat "Wookie" last year.
As any pet owner would do, Mr Harding did his best to try to find Wookie by putting up missing cat posters (on trees, lampposts and parking meters).
Unfortunately for Mr Harding he fell foul of his local council's environmental officer, who threatened him with a £1K fine (Ker Farking Ching!) unless the posters were removed by Christams Eve.
Mr Harding, in the eyes of Nanny, committed two "crimes":
1 The posters can be constituted as "litter" and unauthorised "advertising", ie Nanny wanted a fee.
2 Mr Harding used nails to affix some of the posters to trees. Nanny was very upset about the trees being "pierced" in this fashion, and decreed that the trees would die if pierced thusly! This is of course bollocks, as trees tend to live far longer than humans despite being bashed about in all manner of unpleasant ways.
Mr Harding rushed around and removed his posters by 3AM Christmas Eve.
Wookie is still, I believe, missing:(
Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.
Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.
Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.
Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts