St Jamie of Oliver Bans Tony The Tiger, But Offers Job To Furi

Saint Jamie of Oliver has called for a ban on cartoon characters promoting junk foods to tackle child obesity.

He told MPs cartoon characters should only ever be used to promote fruit, veg and porridge not to “peddle rubbish”.

Thus we will see an end to Tony The Tiger and The Milky Bar Kid.

But wait!

What's this I see?

A cartoon character (Furi a Moshi character) being used by St Jamie of Oliver to promote a high calorie vegetable muffin...surely not?!

Maybe we might all be better off without Nanny using the whims of celeb chefs to guide her food fads!

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Obese Kids and Nanny's Targeted Interventions

Nanny says that more than 22,000 children will leave primary school dangerously obese this year.

The number of 10 and 11-year-olds classed as severely obese, the most overweight scale, in the final year of primary school is also nearly double that of those in reception.

More than 22,000 out of 556,000 of children in Year 6 are classed as severely obese, a significant increase on the 15,000 four and five-year-olds in the category.

The Local Government Association (LGA), which obtained the figures, said this showed children were gaining weight at a drastic rate as they went through school.

The first data of its kind for 2016-17, obtained by the LGA and supplied by the National Child Measurement Programme (NCMP), show that a total of 22,646 out of 556,452 10 and 11-year-olds (4.1 per cent) are classed as severely obese. For children aged four and five, reception class age, the figure is 14,787 out of 629,359 in total (2.35 per cent).

Severe obesity rates are highest in children living in the most deprived towns and cities, and those from BME groups, which the LGA suggested shows a need for more targeted interventions.

Nanny just loves targeted interventions.

Two points:

1 As we all know, BMI is a bollocks way to determine obesity.

2 As In noted last week, childhood obesity figures are bollocks!

However, Nanny doesn't care because she wants to have her targeted interventions.

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Nanny Bans Bacon and Booze

Nanny's chums from The World Cancer Research Fund (WRCF) have conducted a study into cancer and have determined that, if we follow a strict no booze no bacon diet, then we can live to a ripe old age and feel thoroughly miserable.

For good measure WRCF say that all sugary drinks should also be shunned, people should “stick to water” as part of efforts to cut their risk by up to 40%.

They have issued a 10 point plan (diktat) that Nanny will doubtless try to enforce.

Cutting cancer risks | 10 recommendations

1. Be a healthy weight. Keep your weight within the healthy range and avoid weight gain in adult life
2. Be physically active. Be physically active as part of everyday life – walk more and sit less
3. Eat a diet rich in wholegrains, vegetables, fruit and beans. Make wholegrains, vegetables, fruit, and pulses (legumes) such as beans and lentils a major part of your usual daily diet
4. Limit consumption of ‘fast foods’ and other processed foods high in fat, starches or sugars. Limiting these foods helps control calorie intake and maintain a healthy weight
5. Limit consumption of red and processed meat. Eat no more than moderate amounts of red meat, such as beef, pork and lamb. Eat little, if any, processed meat
6. Limit consumption of sugar-sweetened drinks. Drink mostly water and unsweetened drinks
7. Limit alcohol consumption. For cancer prevention, it’s best not to drink alcohol
8. Do not use supplements for cancer prevention. Aim to meet nutritional needs through diet alone
9. For mothers: breastfeed your baby, if you can. Breastfeeding is good for both mother and baby
10. After a cancer diagnosis: follow our recommendations, if you can. Check with your health professional what is right for you.

I for one will do exactly what I have always done when it conmes to Nanny's advice, ignore it.

The more strident and restrictive her advice, the less likely people are going to follow it!

There is absolutely no point living to a ripe old age, if you are going to have to live a life of misery to get to that old age.

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Reality Check - If You Are Bright Enough You Will Get In!

Do a Twitter search for "Oxford my college" to find people who are eager for you to know that (a) they are concerned about this story and (b) they went to Oxford University. https://t.co/AE4VTGzLtj

— Christopher Snowdon (@cjsnowdon) May 23, 2018

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Childhood Obesity Figures Are Bollocks!

As per Christopher Snowdon:

"I argued last month that Britain’s childhood obesity statistics are worthless. They are based on an unjustifiable assumption about the scale of child obesity in 1990 and that error has plagued every subsequent measurement. A flawed methodology has led to the number of obese children being greatly exaggerated.

I suggested that the true number is less than half that suggested by the official statistics. We are told that one in five children are obese by the time they leave primary school. I believe that the true figure is closer to one in twenty and I have the evidence to back me up.

To recap, the normal body mass index (BMI) cut-off of 30+ does not work for children so we have to improvise. The current British system defines children as obese if they have a BMI that would have put them in the heaviest five per cent of their age group in 1990.

Were five per cent of children obese in 1990? No. How many children were obese in 1990? We don’t know, but we do know that barely one per cent of 18 year olds were obese and we know that obesity tends to increase with age, so it seems certain that fewer than two per cent of children were obese in 1990."

Nanny's figures are bollocks.

The reason that she still uses them is because they suit her purposes, and they enable her to bully people!

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Question for Nicola Sturgeon

Given that you and St Jamie of Oliver are so keen to stop Scottish people enjoying "two for one " and discount deals on pizzas etc, will you also be banning GroupOn from offering a discount deal on meals at St Jamie's?

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Scottish Nanny Bans Two For One Pizzas

Scotland, the land that gave the world deep fried Mars bars and deep fried pizza in batter, is to face a major culinary upheaval.

Nicola Sturgeon has met St Jamie of Oliver, and he has told her to ban two for one deals on pizzas etc.

This is kind of ironic, given that St Jamie has happily told the press that he lets his kids eat burgers etc at home and that his recipes contain high levels of sugar, fat and salt.


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Nanny Ivy Bans Flaming Sambucas

Eva and I dined in the recently opened Ivy in Brighton on Friday, nice meal etc (a review of which can be seen here).

However, on ordering some flaming Sambucas (the flaming process helps the coffee beans add their flavour) I was told that they could not be flamed.

For why?

Health and safety!

Which was kind of ironic, given that one of the Ivy's special desserts is flambéed!

Anyhoo, I did attempt to ignite them myself with Eva's cigarette lighter but failed dismally, which was probably just as well as I understand from Eva that the bar staff were looking alarmed that I might succeed.

The Ivy is the only restaurant I have ever been to, thusfar, where Sambucas won't be flamed due to health and safety.

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The Hypocrisy of St Jamie of Oliver

Jamie Oliver's own Italian restaurants serve meals bursting with fat and sugar https://t.co/3JaN7D2xR0

— Christopher Snowdon (@cjsnowdon) May 14, 2018

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Babies Should Give Consent For Nappy Changing!

"Sexuality expert" says babies should give consent to diaper/nappy changes. OMG I AM DEAD 😂 pic.twitter.com/lte31ex0PI

— Raheem (@RaheemKassam) May 10, 2018

Feel free to express you opinions!

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In Which The Guardian Crafts a Headline That is Both Racist and Misogynistic

How white women use strategic tears to avoid accountability | Ruby Hamad https://t.co/tR3wYtefUX

— The Guardian (@guardian) May 8, 2018

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Korean Nanny Bans Smombies

South Korea's telecom watchdog has unveiled new measures to stop "smombies" -- that's smartphone zombies, of course. It will disable phones when it detects the user is walking. https://t.co/LuzCl69IPo pic.twitter.com/0sjY2SFG6E

— Anna Fifield (@annafifield) May 10, 2018

Doubtless UK Nanny will one day follow suit.

All very well, maybe, but sometimes it may be urgent to use the phone when walking/running (eg if you are being attacked!).

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Joe Haines Proves Nanny Is Talking Out of Her Arse!

Harold Wilson’s former press secretary on the Resolution Foundation’s plans for a tax raid on the elderly (in the Times). pic.twitter.com/RP8KpwuIjL

— Fraser Nelson (@FraserNelson) May 9, 2018

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Taxing The Old To Pay For The Young

As a 65 year old silver striver who still works great that a chunk of my pension and home may go towards every 25 year old getting shitfaced

— Jerry Hayes (@jerryhayes1) May 8, 2018

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Nanny To Weigh and Measure Schoolkids

Nanny at Number 10's Policy Unit is currently studying proposals whereby schools would be judged on how well they help their pupils to lose weight as part of the government’s national obesity strategy.

Schools across England would be required to weigh and measure their pupils every year. Those identified as obese would receive intensive and funded support to lose weight, including free gym classes and home visits.

Our country is being turned into Nazi Germany!

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Nanny Bans Big Cocks and Large Breasted Birds

 

My sympathies to Pete Lymer, who runs J W Ash & Son butchers in Ball Haye Street Leek, who has run afoul of Nanny.

It seems that his blackboard advertising ‘big breasted birds', ‘big cocks’ and 'horny sausages' has upset someone.

Police have told him to tone it down.

Pete is quoted by Stoke On Trent Live:

"We've put the signs out for years and it's always been a bit of a laugh.

Just after Christmas apparently somebody complained to the police, saying it was offensive.

Last month a lady from the police came in and asked if we could pull our sign in. And a bobby came in last Thursday. They're just doing their job so I'm not annoyed with the individuals."

Now what is interesting is that the police deny there was a complaint, but say they were warning Pete lest someone in the future takes offence.

A Staffordshire Police spokesman said:

"We’ve received no complaints about signage outside J W Ash and Son butchers in Leek.

However, the local Chief Inspector for the Moorlands did advise the owner to give careful consideration to what was written on the boards in case anyone took offence. No other action has been taken."

Therefore, if no one has complained, why are the police sticking their noses into this??

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It's A Bad Day To Be Scottish

Minimum alcohol pricing will do nothing to help consumers in Scotland, and the public has been misled about the true effects of the policy, says @cjsnowdon.

Full response here: https://t.co/9AtVRWPUBU pic.twitter.com/sPNGgtVZQH

— IEA (@iealondon) May 1, 2018

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