Nanny's Bouncers

My sympathies to the elderly members of the Sandyford and Goldenhill Residents' Association who planned to hold a singalong concert at their local community centre, in order to raise money to keep the centre open.

Sadly for them Nanny's chums from Stoke-on-Trent council insisted that they hire two bouncers for the door.

Why?

Because there was to be a bar.

Now I can understand that requirement if the event was to be attended by teenagers et al. However, the attendees were expected to be in the 70's and 80's.

Needless to say this insistence that there be two bouncers on the door has put the financial mockers on the event, as the council want to charge £100 for supplying the bouncers.

A cynic might wonder if the council were deliberately trying to sabotage any fund raising activities in order to shut down the community centre.

NB: a decision on the future of the centre will be made in the coming months, after the council looks at its profit and loss.

Ker Farking Ching!


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Auntie Uses 1984 As A Blue Print

As loyal readers know, George Orwell wrote "1984" to warn about the rise of the totalitarian state and the use by that state of surveillance, censorship and history revisionism to control people's lives.

Well good old Auntie has not only read it, but has decided to use it as a blue print for how she handles repeats.

Thus it came to pass that Auntie exercised a wee bit of Orwellian word deletion and censored a recent repeat airing of Fawlty Towers. The Telegraph reports that the offending episode had a scene with the words “wogs” and “niggers” in it. The major, played by Ballard Berkeley, is explaining the difference between the two.

The BBC cut the line out.

Auntie was of the view that the words are offensive, yes they are. However, context is everything, had Auntie bothered to watch her own show she would have seen that the entire point of the scene was to mock the major for being a racist not to gratuitously insult people of other ethnic origins.

Aside from needing to learn the subtleties of humour, Auntie needs also to understand that airbrushing history is a futile exercise as it always comes back to bite you in the arse (can I use the word "arse" before the watershed?)!

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Parking Matters - One Rule For Us, One Rule For Nanny

Will Nanny's traffic wardens be fining Mark Hoban for parking on a double yellow?

No, I thought not!

Source Saggydaddy

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Nanny To Tax Coke?

I was gemused to read this morning that there are calls from various medical bodies, Sustain (a food and farming charity), Academy of Medical Royal Colleges, Friends of the Earth, the National Heart Forum and the Royal Society for Public Health et al for Nanny to start taxing Coke.

The snorty kind, or the fizzy kind?

Thinking for one nanosecond that Nanny had experienced a Damascus moment wrt legalising drugs, I was needless to say unsurprised to read that this tax refers to adding 20p or so to a litre of fizzy drinks that contain sugar.

Seemingly it would help avert the health disaster of the "mini time bombs" that are this country's children (their words not mine).

Pah!

Here's a simple and more effective solution for those parents who are worried about their children's consumption of sugar etc.

Don't buy them sugary, unhealthy shite to eat and drink!

It really is that simple!

My parents only ever bought Coke and crisps for me as a very rare treat, and limited my pocket money so I didn't go and waste it.

Problem solved, without the need for state intervention!

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Les Prats De La Semaine - The French

Ooh La La Missus, today I would like to make an international presentation of my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the French, or rather one of French Nanny's government departments the Commission Générale de Terminologie et de Néologie (tasked with keeping the French language "pure").

How does it do this?

Simple, it reinvents new French words to replace "evil" new foreign ones that have invaded the language; al la "1984".

Thus it has come to pass that the word "hashtags" has been banned by French Nanny from all legislation and official correspondence etc.

The new French word for hashtags is "mot-dièse" (sharp word).

All very "amusing", no doubt. However, the Commission Générale de Terminologie et de Néologie forgets that a language (if the culture that uses it is still vibrant and living) continues to grow, develop and evolve.

On the assumption that the French language is not yet dead, you can no more stop its evolution than you can disinvent the wheel.

The Commission Générale de Terminologie et de Néologie, well deserving Prats De La Semaine!


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Give Nanny An Inch

Give Nanny an inch, and she will take a mile.

Such was the case for Andrew Wilson, a window cleaner from Lincol, who recently had the misfortune of parking his van in his own driveway in such a manner that one inch of it overhung the yellow lines of his street.

Needless to say a traffic warden duly appeared and presented him with a £70 fine.

The van was parked near the end of the driveway because of building work going on at a neighbour's property.

Mr Wilson is quoted by the Mail of accusing Lincolnshire County Council of 'milking people of every penny':

"It's a £70 fine but if you pay it in 14 days then it's £35. 

I'm not going to pay it. 

I've appealed against it and sent the photos I took. 

I have been living here for three and a half years and the yellow lines have always been there but I've never had a problem. 

'After 6pm you don't need a permit so the traffic wardens are always down there at like 5.30pm trying to catch people out.  I've seen them scraping the ice off trying to look for permits. 

'It is just stupid. It is milking us for every penny we have. It is disgusting."

The council will investigate and cancel the ticket, if they find it has been issued in error.

We shall see!


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