Quelle Dommage!

France 3 a French TV station has had to pull an advert boasting about its feminist credentials, after it met with ridicule and criticism saying the ad itself was sexist.

The 40-second spot on France 3 was designed to highlight the station's positive record on female employment, with the tagline:

"The majority of our presenters are women presenters".

But in a spectacular own goal, the advert decided to illustrate its point by showing domestic chores that were going wrong without a woman around.

Quelle Dommage!

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French Nanny Bans Even Numbered Cars

Good luck to the good people of Paris today, who are enduring French Nanny's attempts to reduce the levels of pollution in the city.

Nanny's solution is to ban all cars from driving in Paris with even number plates today. Tomorrow it will be the turn of those with odd numbered plates to be banned. This experiment will last for five days, in theory.

Methinks there surely must be other ways (less cumbersome and less prone to prompting Gallic outbursts of temperament) to reduce the number of cars in Paris that Nanny could employ?

This will end in tears!

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Les Prats De La Semaine - The French

Ooh La La Missus, today I would like to make an international presentation of my prestigious "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to the French, or rather one of French Nanny's government departments the Commission Générale de Terminologie et de Néologie (tasked with keeping the French language "pure").

How does it do this?

Simple, it reinvents new French words to replace "evil" new foreign ones that have invaded the language; al la "1984".

Thus it has come to pass that the word "hashtags" has been banned by French Nanny from all legislation and official correspondence etc.

The new French word for hashtags is "mot-dièse" (sharp word).

All very "amusing", no doubt. However, the Commission Générale de Terminologie et de Néologie forgets that a language (if the culture that uses it is still vibrant and living) continues to grow, develop and evolve.

On the assumption that the French language is not yet dead, you can no more stop its evolution than you can disinvent the wheel.

The Commission Générale de Terminologie et de Néologie, well deserving Prats De La Semaine!


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Ooh La La! - Salty Cheese Is Good For You

Loyal readers will recall that barely a few weeks ago I wrote about Nanny's anti cheese campaign (based on the fact that cheese contains salt, which Nanny hates).

Seemingly Nanny's most hated of cheeses is Roquefort, not because it is French but because it has the highest levels of salt.

Anyhoo, but a few weeks on and some scientists from Lycotec (a Cambridge bio-tech company) have discovered that Roquefort has specific anti-inflammatory properties that may account for the “French paradox”; wherein people who live in France enjoy good health despite favouring a diet high in saturated fat.

The properties of the cheese were found to work best in acidic environments of the body, such as the lining of the stomach or the skin surface. According to the Telegraph acidification is also a common process accompanying inflammation such as in joints affected by arthritis or special plaque on an artery wall.

 

The team from Lycotec said:

“Molded cheeses, including Roquefort, may be even more favourable to cardiovascular health.” 

So there you are, not only is salt good for your heart but the fat in the cheese must be good for it as well!.

As I have noted many times before, the body is like an engine; it needs fat/oil in the blood in order to help the blood flow smoothly through the veins!

I dare say that Stilton has exactly the same effect.

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Nanny Bans "Sofa King Low"

I cannot but help guffaw (can I say "guffaw" before the watershed?) in a very loud fashion at the ludicrous prissiness of Nanny's chums in the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), who have got their knickers in a right old twist over a Northamptonshire sofa firm's slogan.

What is the slogan?

Sofa King Low!

Splendid!

This slogan, quite rightly, has been used by the company on all its adverts, vehicles etc.

Unfortunately, dear old Nanny ASA got rather uppity about it and has branded "offensive" and has banned the combination of words.

This of course, aside from being absolutely ridiculous, gives the sofa company an enormous amount of free PR.

Oh, by the way, ASA's decision to ban it is in fact even more ridiculous than for the reasons outlined above.

For why?

Well you see, the company has been using "Sofa King Low" for the last ten years.

In fact the police wasted time and resources investigating complaints about it in 2004 (yes seriously, the police actually wasted time on this!), yet came to the conclusion there was "no crime".

Why now did ASA waste its time, and make a fool out of itself over this issue?

Three readers (yes, three sad readers) of the Northampton Herald and Post complained that it was offensive.

What sad empty lives some people lead!

Where were these saddos when French Connection came up with FCUK, or Brain's Faggots, or my late grandfather's favourite baccy "Digger's Shag"??

Anyone care to come up with a new slogan for the company, that will annoy even more people?

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Something For The Weekend

I am hugely gemused to see that ours is not the only country prone to Nannyism of the most absurd.

Nanny's chums in France have excelled themselves in a recent edict concerning the use by the media of the words "Twitter" and "Facebook".

French Nanny has banned these two words!

Snort!

Seemingly, French Nanny's official explanation is that media organisations must not be seen to be favourable (or provide free advertising) to any one particular organisation.

The norm for a journalist or media organisation to say "follow me on Twatter" or "link up on Faecesbook" etc. However, French Nanny claims that there are other organisations, outwith Twatter and Faecesbook, that should be given their fair chance too.

All very plausible, maybe;)

However, the real reason is that the sites/words "Twatter" and "Faecesbook" are Anglo Saxon and, as such, an abomination to the culture and language of France.

My French is a tad rusty, therefore please feel free to suggest some alternative French words for "Twatter" and Faecesbook".

Have it large this weekend folks!

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Booze Matter - Drink Regularly

Yawn...another tedious "study" into the alleged effects of drinking has been published.

This study, conducted by Toulouse University (so it didn't cost British taxpayers anything I assume), compared drinkers in Belfast to drinkers in several regions of France. The rationale for the demographic split is that the French drink the same amount, but in a different pattern.

It seems that the good people of Belfast drink most of their booze over the weekend (Nanny calls this "binge" drinking), whilst the French spread it out over the week.

The study concluded that men who "binge" drink, had nearly twice the risk of heart attack or dying from heart disease compared to regular drinkers over the 10 years of follow up.

Binging, according to "experts", consists of drinking just over two pints of strong lager in one day!

Good grief, that's absolutely pathetic!

That is barely a gnat's piss in a swimming pool.

Clearly those who conduct research live on a different planet to me (and I guess a few of my loyal readers?).

As to what "twice the risk of heart attack" actually means in real life is not quantified. Given that a vast number of people in Britain consume more than two pints on a daily basis, I don't see bodies piling up in the street felled by a sudden cardiac arrest.

Needless to say, the media have latched on to this and of course our dog whistle politicians (who enjoy subsidised all day drinking courtesy of the taxpayers) will call for "action" to be taken.

It is of course utterly meaningless, the so called "unit" approach to "safe" drinking is nonsense. One person can drink gallons and not be affected, whilst another can have but half a glass of wine and fall flat on their face. It all depends on the individual, both physically and mentally.

One size does not fit all and Nanny, by reducing the "recommended unit intake" to the lowest possible level, makes a mockery of her health advice.

The only "lesson" one can possibly draw from this study is that drinking all week does you no harm.

Hoorah!

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Booze Matters - Nanny Hates The Middle Classes

Oh dear, I see that Nanny has got her beer goggles on again and is using them to have a go at the middle classes.

Nanny's Department for Educashun website (maybe one of the hundreds of useless government sites that our "brave new coalition" is going to shut down?) has published a report that states that there there is a "drinking culture" in some schools dominated by white and middle class pupils.

Shock horror!

It seems that white or non-religious teenagers (what has religion got to do with objecting to booze? Catholics use it in the sacraments) are more likely to drink alcohol.

The study alleges that 55% of young people have tried alcohol by age 14, with girls more likely to do so.

So farking what?

I was given my first sip of beer (barley wine) when I was but a few months old. Children who are brought up with alcohol, in a family setting (eg the French), are more likely to use it "sensibly" than those who are brought up in an atmosphere that gives it the kudos of being "forbidden".

At school I was a founding member of the Oenological Society (wine brewing/drinking). We brewed some real "piss water", but had the right to drink it!

I would also venture to point out that those pubs who have a mix of ages in their customer base are less likely to have bother, than those where only the "young" hang out. The young should be drinking in the presence of the older generation, in order for them to be brought to heel when they start to misbehave.

It's called "responsibility", something that Nanny has tried to denude us of for many ears.

The report, if anyone is interested, says:

"We found that young people who attended schools with a larger proportion of white pupils were more likely to have tried alcohol regardless of their own ethnic group."

Again I ask, so farking what?

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Nanny Hates M&S Advert

Poor old Marks and Spencer have fallen foul of the "too much time on their hands" brigade, wrt the M&S Christmas advert featuring Philip Glenister and French underwear model Noemie Lenoir.

A "staggering" 8 people have complained to the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) over the advert, because they feel that the sight of Ms Lenoir cavorting in her underwear is sexist.

Glenister adds fuel to the fire of these "we have no lives" 8, by saying:

"That girl prancing around in her underwear."

Doubtless at least one person can always be found who is offended/annoyed by anything shown on TV. Commonsense should dictate that TV cannot be "sanitised" to the extent that absolutely no one will be "offended".

As Basil Fawlty once said:

"Too many people with too much time on their hands, with nothing better to do than complain.

That's exactly how Nazi Germany started!"

Well folks, in the interests of redressing the balance, for a modest fee of around £100K I am more than happy to prance around in my Jockey Y Fronts in the next M&S advert.

What say you?

Vote for me to appear in the M&S advert in my Y Fronts via this email address retailcustomer.services@marksandspencer.com

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Nanny's Al Capone Powers

We have known for quite some time that this country is being run by a bunch of gangsters, viz:

- Extortion via excessive tax rises and council fines

- Protection rackets via demands for licences and insurance fees for any activity whatsoever

- Bullying via the Iraq invasion, holding people without trial etc

However, in a twist of irony Nanny is now using a law designed to deal with "Al Capone" type "master" criminals against the ordinary person in the street; ie she is designating us all as potential "Al Capones".

The powers that police currently have to deprive crime barons of luxury lifestyles are being extended to councils, quangos and agencies to use against us.

These powers include the right to search homes, seize cash, freeze bank accounts and confiscate property.

Nanny is giving the following groups "carte blanche" (can I use French here?) to use these powers whenever they see fit; town hall officials and civilian investigators employed by organisations such as Royal Mail, the Rural Payments Agency and Transport for London.

Nanny's little chum Alan Johnson, the Home Secretary, is sneaking these powers in next week via a Statutory Instrument (this means parliament doesn't have to debate it).

Now why would a local council need such powers?

Well my loyal readers, isn't it obvious?

To collect backdated council tax, to tackle fare dodgers and other minor criminals.

At this point you might say, "So what? They are criminals, they deserve it!"

OK, but I would make a number of observations:

- The powers of the state should be in proportion to the crime.

- Punishment should be in proportion to the crime.

- Do you really trust the local councils not to misuse these powers? Remember what they did with RIPA.

- Do you really think that they state should have such powers, that can be used willy nilly against all and sundry? The state cannot be trusted.

- Imagine a time, not long hence, when ZaNuLabour increases council tax to unprecedented proportions. Under the current system there would be a wave of non payments, and people would use due process (as councils took them to court etc) to humiliate the government. Under these new powers the state would simply lock individuals down financially", at the stroke of a pen. How would you function without any bank account? This would kill any council tax protest stone dead within a matter of days.

The chairman of the Police Federation, Paul McKeever, is well pissed off with this; noting that the decision to hand over "intrusive powers" to people who were not police was made without consultation or debate.

He is quoted in The Times:

"The Proceeds of Crime Act is a very powerful tool in the hands of police and police-related agencies and it shouldn't be treated lightly.

There is a behind the scenes creep of powers occurring here and I think the public will be very surprised.

They would want such very intrusive powers to be kept in the hands of warranted officers and other law enforcement bodies which are vetted to a very high standard rather than given to local councils."

The Home Orifice (remember it has been classified as "not fit for purpose") has a plan to "embed" financial seizure in the criminal justice system. Labour have set a target to recover £250M in criminal assets by 2010, rising to £1BN per year soon after.

Ah Hah!

Ker Farking Ching!

We are all designated as prostrate milch cows, to be milked dry via taxes and fines in order to feed the ever growing appetite of the state.

Oh, and by the way, Nanny intends to create a whole new body of financial investigators who will be accredited, trained and monitored by yet another quango, the National Policing Improvement Agency.

More money here from course fees!

More interfering busybodies in uniforms to crush the individual!

Do you not see what ZaNuLabour (wasn't it the Telegraph that claimed that I had lost all sense of proportion the other day by calling them that?) is doing here?

They are creating a police state, that even the police don't want!

A Home Orifice memo states:

"Investigation bodies will receive a share of money recovered as additional funding to incentivise further work in recovering the proceeds of crime."

Thereby neatly incentivising these bodies to create false charges, in order to earn some more money.

As we all know the councils etc already have powers to reclaim debt etc, they most certainly do not need these extra powers.

They most certainly cannot be trusted with them!

The memo also say that the councils will be "less reliant on more traditional law enforcement agencies, notably the police".

Another police force has been created, under the direct control of the state.

THAT IS WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Power corrupts!

The state, under ZaNuLabour, has become the enemy of the people.

Here is Johnson's email Alan Johnson.

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Swedish Lessons

In keeping with the Thiefrow (sorry I mean Heathrow) Terminal 5 theme, I would like to draw your attention to this little article from a Swedish site E24:

Pommes-fritt på nya Heathrow-terminalen

Londonflygplatsen Heathrow har öppnat en ny jätteterminal - där man förbjudit förekomsten av pommes frites och annan snabbmat.

Monsterflygplatsen Heathrow, med Europas största flöde av privatpassagerare tillika den flygplats som slussar vidare flest internationella passagerare i världen, har fått ett rejält tilltaget terminaltillskott.

Den nya terminalen är tidsenlig på många sätt. Framförallt är den befriad från transfetter och osund kost. I sann Jamie Oliver-anda har man bestämt sig för att förbjuda snabbmatsrestauranger till förmån för sunda och miljövänliga alternativ, rapporterar norska Aftonposten.

Den etablerade brittiska pubkedjan JD Wetherspoon har därför tvingats radera frityrstekarna och fish-and-chipsen från sitt utbud på Terminal 5.

Bygget av Terminal 5, som den nya terminalen heter, har tagit nästan åtta år. Men terminalen har varit i pipeline längre än så. Redan 1982 inleddes en debatt kring huruvida man skulle bygga ut Londonflygplatsen Stansted eller satsa på att bygga ut Heathrow.

Tio år senare bestämde man sig slutligen för att satsa på en femte terminal för Heathrow. Sammanlagt 80 000 personer har varit involverade i bygget.

Terminal 5 kommer att besökas av uppskattningsvis 30 miljoner passagerare årligen, vilket ökar Heathrows totala kapacitet till 90 miljoner passagerare per år, en ökning med 22 miljoner passagerare eller dryga 30 procent, från dagens 68 miljoner passagerare.

Den totala kostnaden beräknas till 4,3 miljarder pund, motsvarande 52 miljarder kronor i dagens penningvärde.

How very cosmopolitan of me!

The title says:

French fries-free new Heathrow terminal!

It goes on to say that that the established British pub JD Wetherspoon had to remove deep fried steak and fish-and-chips from the menu in Terminal 5.

Most assuredly, we should boycott Terminal 5!

Here endeth today's Swedish lesson.

Nanny Bans Orals

Oh dear, Nanny seems to have got herself a little worked up over the practice of "orals".

Yes, I mean oral exams in a foreign language!

Nanny is worried that the orals are way too stressful for little "Timmy" and "Jocasta", and as such they might have to be abolished.

I well remember at the tender age of 15 waiting nervously outside the interview room for my French oral (no sniggering please!). I had run through all the possible permutations re Q&A's wrt ordering a meal in a restaurant, and what I did on holiday.

Needless to say the best laid plans of mice and Ken went awry that day, the examiner chose to discuss what I liked to do in my free time.

Curses!

Suffice to say I made a bold attempt to direct my limited conversational French towards my free time enjoyment of ordering food in restaurants and going on holiday.

I gained a "C" grade in French at O Level, as my Form master often remarked "Lads, don't have an orgasm if you get a 'C' in French O Level, it means you can't speak the language".

Wise words indeed!

Anyhoo, it has been reported that the Qualifications and Curriculum Authority might adopt a recommendation to rely on teacher assessments instead of orals in response to a review of language teaching by Lord Dearing.

The review said one-off oral tests were not a reliable guide to ability.

Lord Dearing's report warned that the stress of oral exams might deter young people from signing up to take languages.

Quote:

"It is interesting that when people spoke about the oral test, that however long ago it may have been, it is often remembered as a stressful experience.

We therefore proposed that these parts of the examination should be over a period through moderated teacher assessment."

Yes, of course it's stressful, all interviews are stressful.

That is the reality of life!

We do not serve children well if we constantly seek to shield them from the harsh and unpleasant realities of life, and wrap them in cotton wool.

However, it seems that Nanny has not yet decided as to whether the orals will be banned; coming to a decision, it seems, is too stressful for her.

A Fishy Tale

Something fishy is going on in the ENGLISH Channel (I am a firm believer in annoying the Europhiles by emphasising the "English" part of the name), and it's all down to Nanny's love affair with the cod.

Nanny and her acolytes (celeb chefs and green campaigners) have been telling us for a very long time that the cod was in danger; as such, strict quotas have been introduced to prevent over fishing.

Fair enough.

The trouble is, when Nanny introduces a rule she doesn't apply it with any form of common sense.

As such, hundreds of kilos of dead cod (caught by fishermen seeking other fish) have to be thrown back into the ENGLISH Channel in order to keep within Nanny's rules.

The fish are caught by accident by fishermen seeking Dover sole and other fish etc etc, the cod die after catching their gills in the nets and are then thrown back into the water.

ENGLISH Channel fishermen are also well pissed off that their cod quota is less than one tenth of the French quota, which is more than 70% of the total. French fishermen can land 3,377 tons of cod a year while British fishermen are limited to 366 tons.

There you have it folks, Nanny sticks up for cod and the French but not for her own people.

Booze on The Box

Nanny's chums in Alcohol Concern are getting themselves rather worked up about booze adverts on TV. Specifically they are concerned about the thousands of children who are exposed to alcohol commercials during popular television shows, such as the Simpsons, Home and Away and "Corrie".

Needless to say, Alcohol Concern want all booze adverts banned before 9pm.

Alcohol Concern chief executive Srabani Sen said:

"A watershed ban is the only way to give parents

the peace of mind of knowing that their children

can be kept safe from the influence of advertising."

The above point fails to address the realities of life in the real world:

• Children watch TV after 9PM



• Booze is featured in many TV programmes eg Corrie, the Simpsons etc. No doubt they will then call for booze to be banned from the Simpsons.



• The teenagers who are "running amok" on booze don't need TV to encourage them to drink



• The parents of the teenagers who are running amok, know full well that they are running amok but have abrogated their responsibility as parents



• To hide something away as "adult" makes it even more appealing to children. I well remember as a teenager whenever BBC2 showed an "adult" foreign film, viewing figures amongst my peer group (not normally interested in French/Swedish culture) would rocket



• Kids drink because they are given the money to buy the stuff, cut back on their allowances and they won't be able to afford it.

Seems to me the recommendation by Nanny's chums is naive in the extreme.

Auntie and Nanny

Hah!

I couldn't but help smirk when I read that Nanny's chum Auntie is institutionally biased, according to an official report that was released this week just gone.

The report concludes a year long investigation, commissioned by Auntie (the BBC) herself, which has found that Auntie shows somewhat preferential favouritism towards her pet topics of single-issue politics eg; climate change, poverty, race and religion.

This bias extends to all areas including; news, drama, comedy and entertainment. The report notes that Auntie has a distasteful habit of "pandering" (given that pandas are on the edge of extinction, isn't that illegal?) to politically motivated celebrities and trendy causes.

Sir Bob Geldof's Live 8 concert and the Make Poverty History campaign is targeted as being promoted by Auntie without any form of debate about the issues, eg does it actually help Afirca to throw shit pots full of money at it?

Even the Vicar of Dibley befouled itself when, in the last ever episode, Dawn French showed a minute-long clip of the Make Poverty History video.

It seems that the liberal culture of Auntie's staff, and their tendency to "group think" is the main cause of the problem. In other words they behave like automatons, who have no freedom of thought or imagination to think for themselves (Nanny is trying to get the rest of us to behave like that).

Quote:

"There is a tendency to 'group think'

with too many staff inhabiting a shared space

and comfort zone."

Seemingly staff have adopted a "Roneo mentality", where they ape each other's common liberal values.

Auntie's executives also admitted that they would broadcast images of a Bible being thrown away, but not the Koran for fear of offending Muslims. The BBC deliberately championing multiculturalism and ethnic minorities, while betraying an anti countryside bias.

Auntie had better sharpen up, or else she will find that more people will refuse to pay her absurd licence fee.

The Dangers of Fruit

Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have struck again.

This time the Gestapo have raided the hotel health club that I use. To save the embarrassment, for the moment, of the good people of the hotel in which the club is housed I will not give away their name. They run a good hotel, aside from this aberration, and have always looked after myself, family and friends very well.

Anyhoo, let me tell you what has happened.

The club has been in existence for a good few years now, and aside from the five years that I lived in Sweden I have been a member since around 1994. During this time there has always been a bowl of fresh fruit, in the reception area of the club, for consumption/scoffing by the members and hotel guests.

Can you guess what happened?

Yes, that's right, the health and safety Gestapo have decreed that the fruit presents a health and safety risk. Therefore it has been banned.

As far as I am aware, there have yet to be any fatalities in the club arising from the consumption of a contaminated piece of fruit. Maybe they are worried about a spot of polonium getting mixed up with it...who knows?

I would suggest that, at a pinch, apples and pears could be contaminated by dirty hands. However, bananas and oranges are safe; as no matter how dirty the skin, or the hands that touch the skin, no one will be eating the skin on these.

I would also ask how is it that supermarkets, farmers' markets and the French have managed to sell fruit (that is poked and prodded by dirty little hands) for countless years without a mass outbreak of corpses littering the street?

Suffice to say, I am not particularly hopeful about the prospects of the traditional mince pies and wine being laid out on the reception desk this Christmas (as has been the case each Christmas since I have been a member).

All very silly, and very unnecessary. I have sent the hotel a copy of this, and will let you know if they rethink this daft policy.

Kids!

Statistics collected by the Institute of Public Policy Research (IPPR), Bliary Poppins's favourite think tank, show that British teenagers are the worst behaved in Europe.

Result!

The statistics were published earlier this month, and show that 27% of British teens are regularly drunk, the highest in Europe. That compares with just 3% of French teenagers and 5% in Italy.

British teenagers are also the most aggressive, with 44% having been involved in a fight in the last year.

Britain also leads Europe with the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe.

Now here's the rub, which backs up what I have said before on this site.

Are British teenagers more evil than European teenagers?

No!

Are teenagers, as a whole, simply more evil than they were decades ago?

No!

Researchers claim teenagers in Britain are more out of control because they have less contact with adults, particularly parents, than in the rest of Europe.

You see folks, teenagers need their parents to guide them through the "dark tunnel" of teenagehood.

Letting them aimlessly wander around the streets at night, or stuffing their rooms full of gadgets so that parental interaction is kept to a minimum simply does not constitute effective parenting.

Children/teenagers, despite what Nanny's education system is trying to do to their intellectual development, are not stupid. They pick up pretty quickly that they are not wanted by their parents.

What says "I don't want you" and "I'm not interested in you" more effectively, than ignoring your child and letting him/her do whatever he/she wants?

Nick Pearce, director of the IPPR, said that British teenagers are "disconnected" from adults around them. Hence, they lack the "soft social skills" displayed by teenagers in Europe who spend more time in the company of adults.

The researchers say that children who spend less time with their parents are more likely to commit antisocial behaviour.

The report also shows that participation in structured youth activities is better for young people, than unstructured youth clubs. Have I not already said that the old style boxing gyms above pubs, were an effective means of channeling teenage aggression?

How does Nanny propose to improve this situation?

Simple, put kids into state care earlier and make both parents go out to work!

Educashun

It is nice to know that Nanny's educashun system, so prized in presenting us with 100% pass rates, is now recognised by those in higher education as producing illiterates.

It seems that British students are struggling to win places at university because of competition from European applicants, who have "better English".

Malcolm Grant, the provost of University College London, said that the reputation of higher education in Britain made it a beacon for highly qualified English-speaking students from across Europe, including those from the European Union's new member states.

Speaking at a seminar organised by the think-tank Politeia, Professor Grant said admission tutors were offering places to highly motivated French, German and east European students.

Quote:

"Often, people who have studied a foreign language formally are better at it."

To make matters worse, EU students must repay the £3,000 a year top-up fees when their annual earnings exceed £15,000. However, Nanny has not yet worked out how to keep tabs on their salaries.

Doh!

Nanny's Contraceptive Hot Water Bottle

I do like it when people fight back against Nanny and her nonsense.

The cockles (can I say cockles?) of my heart were particularly warmed by this tale of resistance, mounted by nurses at certain independent schools.

It seems that some independent schools have had an attack of Nannyitis, and are attempting to ban their pupils using contraceptives.

Now call me old fashioned.

You're old fashioned Ken.

Thank you!

However, surely these schools cannot seriously think that increases in the cases of VD, AIDS and pregnancies are better than their "moral principles" on teenage sex being broken?

Well seemingly they do think that.

Anyhoo, some spirited nurses have decided to mount a guerilla resistance to this daft ban.

Delegates at the RCN independent school nurses sub-group annual conference, in London the other week, said they use a variety of strategies to get around bans on contraception at their schools.

One said that she blatantly lied on the budget.

"We are not allowed to buy condoms. We do not have a budget for them so I put them down as hot water bottles".

Another said that she got round the ban at her school, by developing a good relationship with her local pharmacist.

Quote:

"I ring up Boots and say I am sending down someone for free emergency contraception."

A third said that she goes to her own GP and asks for large batches of condoms for herself, which she then gives to pupils.

RCN sexual health adviser, Kathy French, said:

"Giving out condoms is not about promoting sex. It is about trying to improve young people's health."

Exactly!

Shame on these schools for sticking to dogma, in the face of a serious public health issue.

Nanny Hates Democracy

The recent collapse of the EU constitution (see "The EU Constitution The Longest Suicide Note In History"), as a result of the democratic actions of the French and Dutch, has led me to ponder a while on Nanny's schizophrenic views on democracy.

How sad am I?

On the one hand Nanny says that she is very supportive of democracy. She did, after all, happily invade Iraq; in order to overthrow a dictator, and to provide the Iraqi's with the peace and prosperity that they now enjoy.

Additionally, Nanny and her chum Gordon "Smiler" Brown have happily latched on to St Bob's plan to rid Africa of debt; that'll work!

Think I'm cynical about Africa?

Read my recent article "Make Poverty History", on my In Your Face site, and make your own minds up.

Smiler Brown has even encouraged people to demonstrate at the forthcoming G8 summit in Gleaneagles. That could turn quite ugly, so I can't but help feel that the good citizens of Gleaneagles may be a tad pissed off with Smiler.

However, grandstanding on the world stage means that Nanny and her friends can happily forget the local consequences of their actions. Playing the "we believe in democracy" card works very well for lazy politicians, who need a "big popular cause" to be seen to be associated with.

However, when the "chips are down" and things don't go the way that Nanny wants she reveals her true colours.

Nanny's chum Andrew Duff, a Liberal Democrat Member of the European Parliament, recently said in response to the vote against the EU constitution:

"the experience begs the question of whether it was ever appropriate to submit the EU Constitution to a lottery of uncoordinated national plebiscites".

In other words Nanny thinks that you, the voters, cannot be trusted with voting on what he perceives are important issues.

Nanny thinks you're thick!

His comment reveals the real thinking that goes on behind Nanny's smile.