Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Friday, March 22, 2024

Nanny Iceland Bans Hot Cross Buns

In a move that has left traditionalists fuming and devout bakers clutching their apron strings, Nanny in the form of Iceland, the supermarket chain, has committed an egregious act of culinary sacrilege. Brace yourselves, my fellow bun enthusiasts, for the hot cross bun has been defiled! The iconic cross, a symbol that has graced these spiced Easter delights for centuries, has been unceremoniously ousted and replaced with a mere tick. Yes, you read that correctly—a tick! It's as if the pastry gods themselves are weeping into their flour sacks.

The Great Bun Betrayal

Picture this: you stroll into your local Iceland, nostrils flaring in anticipation of that sweet, cinnamon-infused aroma. Your eyes lock onto the familiar golden orbs, nestled in their plastic packaging. But wait! What's this? Instead of the revered cross, you're met with a smug little tick, perched atop the bun like an overconfident squirrel on a power line. The audacity! The gall! It's enough to make a baker's rolling pin tremble.

The "Research" Ruse

Iceland claims this sacrilege is backed by "research." Apparently, a fifth of their customers harbour secret desires to abandon the cross. Really? Are we to believe that there's an underground movement of hot cross bun rebels, covertly plotting to overthrow the centuries-old tradition? Perhaps they meet in dimly lit bakeries, whispering, "Down with the cross! Bring forth the tick!" It's absurd.

The Wrath of the Faithful

But let's not mince words. The tick, a symbol typically associated with correctness or approval, has ignited a firestorm of righteous indignation. Angry shoppers have taken to social media, their keyboards clattering like a hailstorm on a tin roof. Accusations of "woke" behaviour and "virtue-signalling" have been hurled like stale breadcrumbs. Even Reform UK MP Lee Anderson has weighed in, decrying this "namby-pamby" assault on British tradition. And Jacob Rees-Mogg, ever the eloquent wordsmith, quipped, "Who would buy a frozen tick bun?" Indeed, sir, who indeed?

The Soul of the Bun

Let's pause for a moment and reflect on the essence of the hot cross bun. It's not merely a confluence of flour, currants, and spice. No, it's a sacred ritual—a nod to history, faith, and the changing seasons. That cross, etched into the dough, represents the crucifixion of Christ. It's a solemn reminder of sacrifice, redemption, and the promise of resurrection. And now, Iceland has replaced it with a tick—a symbol more at home on a grocery list than a bun.


So, dear readers, as you nibble on your hot "tick" buns this Easter, spare a thought for tradition. Remember the generations who kneaded, baked, and broke bread before us. And if you happen upon an Iceland executive, brandishing their tick-adorned bun, give them a piece of your mind. Tell them that some things are sacred—crosses, buns, and the collective memory of a nation. And then, my friends, march forth with your rolling pins held high, for the battle of the buns has just begun.

*Disclaimer: No actual buns were harmed in the making of this rant. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Wednesday, March 20, 2024

The Myth of "White Privilege" In The Fire Service Exposed


Rebecca Knox should resign! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Blackpool Council Spaffs Taxpayers' Money Up The Wall On Virtue Signalling Bollocks!

I guarantee this will cause more accidents! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Monday, March 18, 2024

Nanny Bans Widows and Guinea Pigs


Nanny, in the form of Lloyds Bank, has decreed that the words "widows" and "guinea pigs" are offensive.

Apparently "guinea pigs" may upset vegans, and "widows" may upset errmm..widows!

As such, Nanny has banned staff from using those words. Now this may be all very well and "virtuous", however there are two points worth noting:

1 I cannot foresee the circumstances that a bank employee would often need to speak about guinea pigs.

2 Lloyds owns Scottish Widows, as such the staff working there will really need to be able to use the word "widows"! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Thursday, March 14, 2024

Scottish Nanny To Investigate Every Thought Crime


Scottish Nanny, in the shape of Police Scotland, has insisted that every single complaint made under Humza Yousaf's new hate crime law will be investigated – despite taking no action on thousands of traditional crimes.

As noted yesterday, you can report these "crimes" in a variety of places, including a sex shop.

This law is of course utter bollocks and will fail within a matter of weeks, as people deliberately report every single piffling little thing that has irritated them. The police will be overwhelmed.

Meanwhile, real crimes will not be investigated! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Scottish Nanny Lists Sex Shop As Hate Crime Reporting Centre


For reasons best know to herself Scottish Nanny, in the shape of Police Scotland, has listed a sex shop in Glasgow, a mushroom farm in North Berwick and a demolished office block in West Dunbartonshire as "third party reporting centres" for Scotland's new hate crime laws.

Bampots! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Auntie Manipulates The News To Suit Her Agenda


"This is the grotesque path that identity politics has brought us down. Clearly, the BBC saw what it wanted to see in the case of Omar Badreddin – a tale of an ‘innocent’ migrant abused by the supposedly ‘racist’ British working class. In truth, it is the BBC’s grim prejudices that have actually been exposed here." is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Monday, March 11, 2024

Irish Nanny's Referendum Resoundingly Defeated

Irish Nanny, in the shape of Leo Varadkar, faced a significant defeat over the proposed referendums on family and women's roles. The dual referendum aimed to redefine the traditional concepts enshrined in the Irish constitution but was met with a resounding 'no' from the electorate.

The first referendum sought to alter the constitution's language regarding the family unit, proposing an extension of the definition of "family" beyond the confines of marriage to include "other durable relationships." However, this was defeated with a 67% majority voting against it.

The second referendum addressed the role of women in the home, attempting to remove references to women's "duties in the home" and replace them with a gender-neutral acknowledgement of family care. This too was rejected by a 74% majority.

Nanny Varadkar, who had been a proponent of these changes, admitted the defeat and acknowledged the government's failure to convince the majority. The result shows that people are fed up to the back teeth of polices being forced upon them by unelected single issue NGOs. is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Thursday, March 07, 2024

Nanny's £1M Sectarian War Memorial


For reasons that only Nanny knows, she decreed in yesterday's Budget that £1m would be spent on a sectarian war memorial for Muslim's who died fighting for this country.

All very noble and virtue signalling, except for the fact we have many war memorials dedicated to those who lost their lives fighting for this country. These state funded memorials do not differentiate by religion, but seek to honour and remember all those who laid down their lives for this country equally and without prejudice or favouritism.

The Forces do not care about colour, creed, religion, economic or social background. They honour our fallen equally, and without judgement or prejudice. 

When you start singling out specific religions you sow the seeds of division. In the event this memorial is ever built, there will be immediate demands for ones honouring Jewish people, Christians, atheists etc.

This is not right by anyone's measure of decency or standards! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Tuesday, March 05, 2024

The Biggest Prat in Christendom - Justin Welby


Welby and his cabal of virtue signalling bishops that have infested the Church of England, have recently announced its intention to create a £1 billion fund to tackle the legacy of slavery, and pay reparations to people who have never been slaves.

Welby’s proposal is misguided because it is based on a false assumption that the Church of England is somehow responsible for the sins of its ancestors. The Church of England did not own or trade slaves, nor did it endorse or condone slavery. In fact, the Church of England was one of the leading forces in the abolitionist movement, and many of its clergy and members campaigned against slavery and supported the emancipation of slaves.

Therefore, it is unfair and illogical to hold the Church of England accountable for something that it did not do, and to make it pay for the actions of individuals who died several centuries ago.

Welby’s proposal is impractical because the slaves are long since dead.

Slavery was (and still is) a global phenomenon that affected and affects millions of people across different continents, cultures, and generations. 

It is impossible to calculate the exact amount of harm or benefit that slavery caused or conferred to each individual or group, or to trace the genealogical or historical links between them. Moreover, it is unclear how the fund will be distributed, who will be eligible to apply, and what criteria will be used to assess the claims. The fund will create resentment and division among different communities, as some will feel excluded or discriminated against.

Welby ignores the fact that many Africans profited from the slave trade at the time, and pointedly ignores the fact that Britain was the first country in the world to outlaw it and proactively used the Royal Navy to hunt down the African slave traders and others.

Welby ignores that fact that slavery continues in the present day eg; sweat shops in Africa and Asia, human trafficking of sex workers and others, people smuggling etc.

Instead of spunking £1bn up the wall on people who have no right to the money, it should be used to help people in the UK eg the homeless.

It is high time that the church started to pay tax and Welby and his cabal be removed from office! is brought to you by "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts