Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Welsh Nanny To Ban Tea and Coffee for Under 16s


 

Under 16s in Wales could be banned from buying tea and coffee as part of options being considered by Welsh Nanny in an effort to make young people healthier and stop rising obesity rates.

There are concerns that the rising consumption of high-caffeine energy drinks is affecting students' educations.Now, the Welsh Government has confirmed that the consultation on the proposal to end sales of energy drinks to children also asks whether the plan "should be widened to consider other drinks typically high in caffeine such as tea and coffee". 

I think Welsh Nanny needs to lie down in a dark room with a wet towel over her head!


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Thursday, June 16, 2022

Nanny WHO Bans Monkeypox


 

The corrupt Chinese controlled international fake health organisation (aka WHO) is very worried about Monkeypox.

Not the disease itself, but the name.

Apparently the name is racist, as such they are looking for suggestions for a new one.

Feel free to oblige them!


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Monday, June 13, 2022

Animals Make Better Parents Than Some Humans

 


As per The Times:

"Children are arriving at school unable to say their own names or drink from cups, The Times Education Commission’s final report will reveal this week.

It will call for a kind of “five-a-day” initiative to encourage parents to talk to and play with their children, similar to the healthy eating campaign.

The year-long inquiry into the state of education in the UK, which heard evidence from dozens of experts, publishes its final report on Wednesday. It exposes the inequality within schools and calls for a laser-like focus on education, particularly in the early years.

A head teacher from Nottinghamshire said that her school spent little time on literacy or numeracy in reception because it had to focus on basic care. Some four and five-year-old children joined reception class unable to say their own names and having drunk only from baby bottles. One child was brought to school in a shopping trolley.

She told the commission: “We’ve got about 50 per cent of the children in reception and nursery who are not toilet-trained. We have to employ care workers just to change nappies. We’ve got children who are still drinking from bottles with teats when they start school. They are four years old and their language will include the word ‘bot-bot’, because that’s their communication for ‘Can I have a drink please?’"

A kitten of a few weeks will use a litter tray, wash itself and be able to feed itself!

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Friday, May 27, 2022

Advice To The Bleeding Hearts Media


 

When you want to try to convince your viewer that Nanny is causing abject starvation and poverty, don't interview obese people who wear expensive Fitbits and own the latest mobile phones.


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Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Eat Bananas To Avoid Monkeypox

 


Nanny's hopeless and hapless NHS is getting itself into a tizzy over monkeypox.

 It is advising thusly on its website:

“It may also be possible to catch monkeypox by eating meat from an infected animal that has not been cooked thoroughly, or by touching other products from infected animals (such as animal skin or fur).” 

Hence I suggest you eat more bananas to avoid monkeypox!


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Tuesday, May 10, 2022

Queen's Speech To Kill EU's Cookie Monster?


 

It is expected that the Queen's speech today will finally outline plans to end that most despised of regulations, namely the EU's cookie pop-up banners reminding users that websites will use cookies to store information about them.

The Queen’s speech will contain an explicit promise to end the annoying, time-wasting requirement for cookie box-ticking via the new Data Reform Bill.


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Thursday, April 21, 2022

Lockdowns Prime Suspect re Rise In Childrens' Acute Liver Disease


 

Less social mixing due to two years of covid restrictions may be a factor in an “unusual” and serious outbreak of acute liver disease among young children, scientists believe.

A total of 74 children in the UK, mostly under the age of five, have contracted a version of acute hepatitis which is not linked to normal strains of the disease, while dozens of cases have now been identified in the US, Europe and Israel. Six children in the UK have required liver transplant.

The UK Health Security Agency is expected to announce more cases shortly.

One line of inquiry by experts is a link to adenovirus, a common cold virus which can cause more serious symptoms including gastrointestinal illness in young children.

Cases of adenovirus in children were far lower than normal in 2020 and remained below the average in 2021, and experts believe it is “possible” that the lack of exposure to the virus in infants due to lockdown may have lowered their immunity, meaning they are suffering worse effects now that restrictions are lifted. 

The more you stop people from mixing, the weaker their immune systems become.

Lockdowns have caused more harm than good!


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Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Cornish Councils Yearn for The Past - They Want Masks Back

 


Nanny's chums in Cornwall are yearning for the past, and over the Easter weekend have been advising holidaymakers to wear face coverings or Covid masks, as well as suggesting to continue to social distance.

Meanwhile, in the 21st century, the federal government in the USA said Monday passengers traveling on airplanes and other forms of public transportation won't be required to wear a face mask for now after a federal judge in Florida voided the mandate.

The decision Monday by U.S. District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle in Tampa says the federal mask mandate exceeded the authority of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which failed to justify the order and didn't follow proper rulemaking procedures.

 Suffice to say, passengers and airline staff were overjoyed!

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Thursday, March 31, 2022

Nanny Bans Staring


Just how the blinking flip will this be enforced then?

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Thursday, March 24, 2022

Nanny To Ban Tulse Hill?


 

Nanny is threatening to rename the south London district of Tulse Hill because of its namesake’s links to the slave trade.

A survey by Lambeth council asked residents their views on the names of streets and the area itself as part of a community listening exercise.

It comes in the wake of Nanny Khan’s pledge to hand Londoners £25,000 to decolonise their areas.

Lambeth has begun a review of the borough and streets including Vassal Road, Holland Grove, Foxley Road and Foxley Square and Lord Holland Lane, The Daily Telegraph reported.

The area’s name is derived from Sir Henry Tulse who was lord mayor of London and he was the descendant of the Tulse family whose wealth come from the slave trade.

Wait 'til they hear that London was named by the Romans (who ran an entire empire with slaves)!

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Tuesday, March 15, 2022

Nanny Decimated The Travel Industry - For Nothing!


 

Nanny is finally withdrawing her absurd travel restrictions.

Whilst this is good news, it should be remembered that these restrictions barely affected the spread of Covid but managed to all but destroy the travel industry.

Paul Charles, chief executive of travel consultancy The PC Agency, said:

The ill thought-through, shambles of government policies created enormous financial and emotional distress for consumers; set back travel firms by years; led to heart attacks and suicides among some distraught employees and directors; and left the UK as a laughing stock on the world stage.

Frankly, ministers achieved nothing apart from crippling the travel and tourism sector, and reducing our aviation sector to a shadow of its former self.

As ever when Nanny interferes with people's lives, she makes things worse!


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Wednesday, March 09, 2022

Nanny Sturgeon Apologises To Witches From the 16th Century


 

Nicola Sturgeon has offered a formal apology to people accused of witchcraft between the 16th and 18th centuries, many of whom were executed.

I am sure they are delighted!

 
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Tuesday, March 01, 2022

Fake SAGE Opines on The Ukraine War


 

Is it any wonder that Putin thinks that the West is a pushover?


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Wednesday, February 23, 2022

Nanny Displays a Rare Degree of Common Sense


 

Nanny, in a rare display of common sense, is considering plans for a minimum entry requirement for university. Students without English and maths GCSEs, or two grade Es at A-level, would not be able to attend university in England.

Suffice to say universities are bleating that this caps aspirations and is bad for individuals, the economy and society.

The universities are wrong, if you do not have a basic grasp of the "three Rs" how the hell can you cope and prosper (academically and intellectually) in university?


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Tuesday, February 22, 2022

Nanny Axes Covid Restrictions

"We are moving away from legal compulsion to personal responsibility."

 
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Thursday, February 17, 2022

Richard Kelly Nails It!


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Wednesday, February 16, 2022

Nanny's Non Jobs in The NHS - Your Taxes Pay for This!


 


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Monday, February 14, 2022

Everything is Racist - Allegedly!

 


On today's list of things that are racist, courtesy of Labour and The Guardian, please add:

1 Utility bills, and

2 The NHS

Shall we abolish them then?


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Friday, February 11, 2022

Auntie Loves Perspex!


 

Totally useless, and totally pathetic!

This sums the BBC up!


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Thursday, February 10, 2022

Nanny To Remove Remaining COVID Restrictions

 

Nanny Johnson has announced that all remaining COVID restrictions will be removed by 24 February.

This is a necessary and welcome step forward, as we cannot live forever under restrictions that provide zero benefit but negatively impact the economy and people's mental health.

This announcement also has the added benefit of winding up all the right people!

 


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Tuesday, February 08, 2022

Nanny Has Never Heard of VPN


 

Nanny will decree that all websites that display pornography will have to comply with Nanny's new content moderation legislation. 

It won’t just be user-generated content platforms like Twitter and Facebook that will have to comply with a new legal duty of care, commercial porn sites will also have to take action (such as using age verification technology) to stop children from accessing explicit material.

Factoid: VPN will negate the effectiveness of these checks.


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Monday, February 07, 2022

Everything Causes Heart Attacks - Apparently!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is why no one listens to health "experts" and the media!


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Friday, February 04, 2022

Advice To Wee Nippy


 

Don't saw the bottoms off classroom doors, simply open them.

That will save time and money!

You're welcome!


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Tuesday, January 25, 2022

Knob Throwing Cancelled Due To Size Issues

 


A "knob-throwing" contest has been cancelled because it has become too popular to run, it has been announced.

Held in Cattistock, the Dorset Knob Throwing event, which runs alongside The Frome Valley Food Festival, had been set to go ahead on 1 May.

The event sees people hurl the county's traditional knob biscuits down a field.

Organisers said due to the 2019 event attracting over 8,000 people, it had "reached such a size that it cannot be run by a small village committee."

Size matters!


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Friday, January 21, 2022

SAGE Doesn't Do Irony!

 


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Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Masks Gone


 


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Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Irony Klaxon - Auntie in Full Panic Mode


 

Auntie has been spooked by the threat of the abolition of the licence fee.

As such all her well paid celebs etc have hit the airwaves and Twitter (there's a small irony for you!), to tell us how much value for money we are getting by paying their salaries via our licence fees to tell us how much value for money we are getting by paying our licence fees!


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Thursday, January 13, 2022

Auntie Gets a Taste of Her Own Medicine!


 

 

What goes around comes around!


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Tuesday, January 11, 2022

There is Nothing Like a Dame - Jenny Harries Rewarding Failure

It is well entrenched in the culture of Westminster that failure is always rewarded.

Those of you wondering why Covid restrictions have been, at times, bizarre and slow to be lifted should cast their eyes to the advice and statistics given to ministers by the UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) headed up by the recently "Damed" Jenny Harries.

Dame Jenny has a history of giving wrong/misleading advice wrt Covid viz:

1 March 2020, Harries stated "the virus will not survive very long outside," and "many outdoor events, particularly, are relatively safe,"[19] and warned that it was "not a good idea" for members of the public to wear a mask in which the virus could get trapped, thus increasing the risk of infection.[20] 

2 Harries suggested in March 2020 that the World Health Organisation (WHO)'s advice to "test, test, test" people for COVID-19 and trace their contacts was primarily intended for countries that were less well developed than the UK, arguing that "there comes a point in a pandemic where that is not an appropriate intervention": "The clue for WHO is in its title. It is a World Health Organisation and it is addressing all countries across the world with entirely different health infrastructures and particularly public health infrastructures. We have an extremely well-developed public health system in this country and in fact our public health teams actually train others abroad. So the point there is that they are addressing every country, including low- and middle-income countries, so encouraging all countries to test of some type," Harries said; other highly developed countries remained committed to extensive testing and experienced fewer deaths.[22][23][24] 

3 In December 2021, The Telegraph reported that it was understood that Harries was the source of a contested figure that there was an average 17-day delay between infection and hospitalisation for COVID-19, used by Health Secretary Sajid Javid. Former Treasury statistician Simon Briscoe was quoted as saying that the figure seemed like either a "deliberate statistical sleight of hand designed to deceive, or incompetence" and that if deliberate, officials were "in effect trying to buy time, as officials realise that data of rising hospitalisations is needed to justify lockdown.

4 Harries and UKHSA was rebuked by the Office for Statistics Regulation (OSR) over  the statistics watchdog over claims that 200,000 people were catching Omicron per day which were not supported by evidence.

5 UKHSA admitted it had misunderstood the U.S. health authorities’ position on their five day isolation recommendation. The UKHSA had claimed the U.S. isolation period started after a positive test, so some time after infection. In fact, the U.S. advice was that its five-day isolation began when symptoms started. Ministers are furious that she has yet again misled them with erroneous data.

Given that the latest debacle comes just days after she was "Damed", it surely is now the time for her to be promoted away from anything to do with health and indeed from the UK. I suggest she be made ambassador to some small country, where she can do no further harm! 


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Monday, January 10, 2022

Who Knew?!


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Thursday, January 06, 2022

Pupils Rebel Against Nanny's Mask Mandate

 

Good for the kids!

Masks in class damage their mental health and harm their education.


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