Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Brown's Bankrupt Britain

Brown's Bankrupt Britain
We're skint!

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Won't Somone Think of The Children? II



I see that Nanny, as child centred as ever, has found another way to ban adults from the adult world so that Nanny's precious children can "roam free" without ever having to mix with adults or obey their rules.

A group of pensioners (over 50's to be precise) from Eye (near Peterborough) have been holding regular coffee mornings each week in their local library for the last 4 years.

So far so good!

Now children, can you guess what happened next?

Yes, that's right Nanny has now banned them from having their coffee mornings.

Can you guess for why?

Health and Safety!

It seems that a toddler group now also uses the library, and Nanny (from Peterborough City Council) has decreed that the health and safety risk of a pensioner (note the coffee mornings are open to all who are over 50) spilling hot coffee on a toddler is just too great.

The toddlers started using the library a few weeks ago, and under Nanny's child centric policies must have priority over all adults. The irony is that the coffee drinking part of the coffee morning is actually over before the toddlers arrive.

The solution is simple, and obvious, ban the children from coming in to the library at the same time as the adults.

Nanny insists that all policy in the country is "child centric", it is high time that Nanny realised that this country should be run for the benefit of the adults not the children.

BTW, this is of course a Tory council!

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

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Monday, June 29, 2009

Heatwave!



Pah!

I see that Nanny has issued one of her regular warnings about something that we need to be afraid of, lest we "risk our health" ignoring her.

This time Nanny is telling parents to keep babies and young children indoors, as our ever "accurate" and "world class" weather forecasters predict that temperatures will rise to the high 20's or beyond.

My gosh, how do people who live in places such as India, Africa and the Med ever cope with temperatures that go way beyond that???

For good measure Nanny also warned people over 75, and people with heart problems, not to go out as well.

Hospitals have been put on standby to deal with sunstroke victims, as the Met Office issued its first ever heatwave warning amid fears that it could become "dangerously" hot and humid.

OK folks, here are a few factoids:

1 High 20's low 30's is not that excessive, try living in eg Africa, India or eg Beijing/Seoul in the summer if you want to experience real heat/humidity.

2 We pay carbon tax, which is allegedly being used to reduce "global warming", let us now get value for money for that tax by enjoying the heat.

3 This is just part of Nanny's "global warming" scare story strategy, designed to justify her raising taxes even more.

4 Why does Nanny not also warn parents about the dangers of taking their kids to hot countries (eg Spain) for their holidays?

5 When have the weather forecasts ever really been that accurate? It is high time forecasters were fined for misleading forecasts, then we would see a change in attitude!

In short, make the most of any sun or heat that comes our way; Nanny Brown's Britain is a pretty damp and miserable place normally.

Remember, we managed to run an Empire in some of the hottest parts of the world with little more than a pith helmet and a bottle of gin. Nanny, had she been around then, would never have even let us board the ferry at Dover.

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun!

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Friday, June 26, 2009

Drink Exclusion Zones

Booze
Now here's a funny thing...did you know that there are over 700 "controlled drinking zones" in the UK?

No, I didn't either until I read this in yesterday's Times.

Nanny is so pleased with her little wheeze, that she is adding to them on an almost daily basis.

The trouble is that these zones don't seem to be sensibly targeted at those who are out of their boxes and causing a nuisance, but instead are targeted at people who are just having a quiet drink in the park or on the beach.

Indeed in some cases, as Dan Travis of Brighton discovered, people are being stopped and asked to dispose of their booze down the drain; even though the cans are unopened and they are walking down the street from the off licence from whence they have purchased them.

Here's where it gets interesting, for me anyway, The Times says that police in Brighton and Hove (where I live) appear to be the most energetic in the country. Their 45 community support officers are making 25 confiscations a week.

Seemingly Brighton has a zero public drinking policy city wide. This is news to me, as I have had on several occasions had a few on the beach and in the park (picnicking peacefully with Eva).

The trouble with our zealous "chums" from Nanny's Brighton zero drinking patrols is that whilst they may be very "brave" and zealous, when targeting non trouble making picnickers etc, they haven't lifted a finger (as far as I can see) against the hardcore piss heads who roam certain streets/areas of Brighton (eg London Road, St James Road and the Level) who are bloody trouble makers and are at times aggressive/threatening.

Why is that then???

As ever with Nanny's rules, she only bothers to implement them against those of us who are law abiding and compliant.

Suffice to say I will continue to drink on Brighton beach and in Brighton's parks etc, and suggest that the rest of you do too.

Why don't we have a day of national public drinking, and reclaim the parks and beaches?

BTW, Brighton is a Tory council. Here is the email address of the council leader, if you want to discuss this policy, Mary.Mears@brighton-hove.gov.uk

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Wheels Come Off Nanny's Pension Schemes

My views on pensions are here, if you want to depress yourselves.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Prats of The Week - Long Ashton Golf Club

Prats of The WeekLawks a Mercy!

More than a wee bit of time has passed since I awarded my world famous and much coveted "Prats of The Week" Award, it is most surely time to dole out another one.

This week it goes to the numpties in charge of the restaurant at Long Ashton Golf Club in Bristol.

For why?

They have sacked Olive Bater, their 83 year old washer up of the past 22 years.

Over the last 22 years (six days a week) Mrs Bater has washed the dishes, estimated at being 3 million pieces in all, at the club without ever taking a single day off sick.

So why have they sacked her?

Can you guess children?

Yes, that's right, health and safety!

Mrs Bater was told that the job posed an "immense" health risk.

Come again?

As Mrs Bater says:

"All I do is put dishes in a dishwasher, where's the health and safety problems in that?"

Secretary of the club, Victoria Rose said:

"There are immense health and safety issues to take into account in such a potentially dangerous environment."

Errmmm...they are what precisely?

There are thousands of kitchens across the country where humans wash (allegedly) the dishes, are these all to be closed because of health and safety?

A cynic might suggest that they dispensed with Mrs Bater because they deemed her to be "too old", of course I am not a cynic.

Wrt "health and safety" rulings such as this, they are invariably used as the catch all excuse by pen pushing bureaucrats afraid of their own shadows. These people are too gutless to take responsibility for anything at all, and seek to use procedures and imaginary "risks" to hide behind when confronted with having to make any form of decisions.

These people infest every aspect of our lives and, for reasons that I cannot understand, have been entrusted with power over us.

People such as these are the ones who should be sacked!

Long Ashton Golf Club, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Doctor is In

The Doctor is In
Those of you who are fed up with the waiting lists to see doctors and dentists could consider becoming a traveller.

Nanny has advised primary health care trusts to fast track travellers above other patients.

Seemingly, under race laws, gypsies and travellers are defined as minority ethnic groups and the NHS is obliged to consider their special needs and circumstances.

The irony is that no other ethnic group receives such special treatment.

The Department of Health is quoted in The Mail:

"This should not be to the detriment of service provision to the settled community."

So that's alright then?

No it's not alright, the NHS just about manages to "function" with the exponential demand for its services by rationing them. Rationing only works if everyone is treated equally.

This is a recipe for disaster.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Nanny Bans Ice Cream Vans - Revisited

Ice Cream
A month ago I wrote about Nanny's chums on Harrow's Tory council banning ice cream vans.

I dropped David Cameron a note about it, pointing out that the actions of local councils such as this may well damage the chances of the Tories winning the next election.

Here is the response from Cameron's Orifice, received today (after the local elections of the other week).

It seems that Cameron feels that he has no authority over the actions of local councils. Strange that, given that he was so happy to ride the crest of the publicity wave following the Tories "reasonable" showing in the local elections.

Either they are the same party or they are not, they can't have it both ways!

"Dear Ken,

Thank you for your recent e-mail.

I am very sorry for the long delay in this reply. As you might understand, David Cameron has received an unusually large number of e-mails recently, and I am afraid it has taken longer than normal to reply to everyone.

We're grateful to you for bringing this matter to our attention. However, your local council has been democratically elected and you should take this matter up with them as David Cameron cannot interfere with local decision making.

Thank you, once again, for taking the time and trouble to get in touch.

Yours sincerely,

XXXXXX

Office of David Cameron MP

House of Commons

London
SW1A 0AA
"

Here's David Cameron's email to tell him what you think: camerond@parliament.uk

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Monday, June 22, 2009

The Dangers of Blu-Tack

Prats!
Do you realise how dangerous Blu-Tack is?

I must admit that I didn't!

That is I didn't know of its dangers, until I read in a survey of teachers that some unnamed teacher (prat I would say) at an unnamed school told staff and children to wear goggles when handling Blu-Tack.

Why are people like this allowed anywhere near children?

The only health and safety advice I was given at school (outwith operational instructions in the chemistry lab), when I was a nipper, was to hold scissors by the sharp end and not to run with them.

Eminently sensible advice, which I still follow to this day!

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, June 19, 2009

Nanny Bans Clothes

Nanny Bans Clothes
Environmental zealots running Kirklees Council in West Yorkshire have put their noses into the usually very private matter of funerals (cremations to be precise), and have ruled that the clothing of the deceased must comply with their/EU pollution laws.

Thus those families who want to cremate their relatives in their favourite football shirts or with soft toys (for children) have had their wishes overruled.

Kirklees Council is the only authority in the country to adopt the approach, according to a national cremation body.

Those who use cremation must spend £60 on natural-fibre shrouds.

The council demand that:

"If a family wishes to cremate their loved one in anything other than a shroud, the funeral director should contact bereavement services so this can be discussed to clarify what type of garments the family wish to use."

Even 100% cotton is banned, Kirklees Council argue that natural fibre clothing could contain man-made dyes or fibres that will impact on emissions.

I would therefore ask, given the alleged "risk" to the environment of burning non Nanny type clothes, why is Nanny allowing coffins (and indeed bodies) to be burned at all?

Surely this constitutes an emission threat?

Why not go the whole hog, and demand that bodies be dipped in a bath of acid?

Whilst in the harsh reality of a universe in which there is no afterlife and no god (my view) what the deceased wears makes no difference in a practical sense, in a personal sense to those families who want some form of comfort to justify human existence this is an unnecessarily cruel rule.

We should, whilst we exist, try to treat each other with a little kindness and empathy; there is nothing to follow once we have breathed our last.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The Dangers of Goggles - Again!

Goggles BannedNanny, as has been reported on several occasions on this site, has a wee bit of a bee in her bonnet wrt swimming and swimming goggles, as pupils of Ysgol Bryn Coch in Mold have discovered to their cost.

Nanny's chums from the school have banned the kids from wearing goggles during swimming lessons.

For why?

In case they "snap" onto their faces too hard.

Headteacher Lynne Williams says that the school was following advice from the British Association of Advisors and Lecturers in Physical Education (BAALPE).

"It has been recognised by BAALPE that goggles can pose a real risk to children, and this has been accepted by the governors."

BAALPE advice states:

"Head teachers should inform parents and carers that goggles can be a hazard and cause permanent eye injury.

Wet plastic is very slippery and frequent, incorrect or unnecessary adjustment or removal of them, by pulling them away from the eyes instead of sliding them over the forehead, can lead to them slipping from the pupil's grasp with the hard plastic causing severe injury
."

Fair enough, if you just warn parents about the danger. However, BAALPE does not say they should be banned.

I would also note, if goggles are so dangerous why are they allowed to be sold?

Why does Nanny allow them to be worn in public pools?

Surely a "snap back" to some children is less painful than an eyeful of chlorinated water?

Surely this really a question of how to correctly, and safely, put the goggles on rather than an inherent safety flaw in the design? In other words why not teach the kids how to use the goggles safely, rather than ban them?

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Won't Somone Think of The Children?



I see that the anti fag Gestapo are continuing their campaign against smoking, invoking the time honoured phrase of Nanny:

"Won't someone think of the children?"

It should not be forgotten (but I suspect is not that well known) that Nanny many moons ago made it a stipulation of all her ministers, and acolytes, that all policies have to be "child focused".

Hardly a recipe for intelligent policies, as we live in an adult world not Neverland!

Anyhoo back to the plot...Professor Terence Stephenson, head of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health, has called for smoking in cars when children are passengers to be banned.

All very nice, maybe, but how would he enforce such a law?

Will police and council snoops be given powers to fine and/or arrest car smokers?

Were this law to be passed, the next target on Nanny's anti fag list would be people who smoke at home with children.

The fines would be replaced by what Nanny really wants, the power to take children away from their parents. The state, as we "know", is far better at looking after children than their natural parents.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Dangers of Skating Clockwise


I could not help but "titter" (can I say "titter"?) when I read this daft Nannyism a while ago. It seems that Stirling Council has a thing about ice skaters who skate clockwise.

The council deems it to be a health and safety hazard, and as such have banned clockwise skating during public skating sessions at the £27M sports complex (The Peak) which is meant to be used for training for the 2012 Olympics.

Also banned during "skate for all sessions" are; speed skating, figure skating, jumping, spinning and chains.

Not much scope for practising for the Olympics there then!

Precisely why this complex, allegedly built to help people train, needed quite so much money spent on it is therefore is a bit of a mystery.

Needless to say, the skaters are going elsewhere to train (where the rules aren't so daft).

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, June 15, 2009

Two Questions

Two Questions
Drunk or not, how do you "fall" through a 12 inch opening in window?

Why has she taken 4 years to lodge this claim?

"A public school is being sued by a former pupil who was permanently disabled following a drunken fall from a window.

Amy St Johnston was a 16-year-old pupil at Oundle School when she got drunk at a Valentine’s Day ball and fell 15ft from her first-floor window. Miss St Johnston, now a 20-year-old classics student at Selwyn College, Cambridge, claims that the incident happened because of a “drinking culture” among students at the school. She is reported to be demanding £300,000 in damages.

Miss St Johnston now sufferers from partial paraplegia, which can lead to limb paralysis, and walks with the aid of crutches.

Her writ alleges that the window she fell from opened to 12 inches, three times the legal maximum. Documents lodged at the High Court say that Oundle was in loco parentis, and accuse the school of failing in its duty of care by leaving Miss St Johnston in the room while it was “known she was under the influence of alcohol”.

The accident took place in February 2005 when Miss St Johnston was in the lower sixth of the mixed £22,800-a-year school near Peterborough, Cambridgeshire.

She says that before the ball she had consumed “a combination of alcoholic drinks” over several hours. When teachers noticed that she was walking unsteadily, she was sent to “cool off”, but the writ alleges that she then returned to the ball.

Staff later confirmed that she had been drinking and took her back to her room. Left there, the writ says, she “leaned so far out the window that she fell out”.

After the accident, Miss St Johnson left the school to continue her sixth-form studies elsewhere.

Miss St Johnson refused to discuss the case yesterday. “I don’t really want to talk about it, I don’t think I should — partly because of legal reasons but also because it’s just not something I want to discuss,” she told the Daily Mail.

A spokeswoman for Oundle confirmed that a writ had been served on the school but said she could not comment further. “The matter is being dealt with by the school’s legal advisers,” she said.

Oundle’s rules state that sixth formers can drink beer, cider and wine at officially permitted social events where a “substantial meal” is served.

The writ says that since 1969 the British Standard Code of Practice has recommended that limiters be fitted on windows above ground level, restricting opening to less than 4 inches. The 1998 edition of Building Regulations also required such windows to be fitted with limiters or safety guards to prevent falls
. "

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Friday, June 12, 2009

Prats of The Week - Haven Holiday Parks

Prats of The WeekTis the end of the week, and time (methinks) to award one of my coveted and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Awards.

This week it goes to the people who run Haven Holiday Parks.

For why?

Ask Andrew and Dawn Norris who were told by a lifeguard at the Haven holiday park site in Chichester, Sussex, that they were forbidden from taking a photo of their four-month-old son in the holiday park swimming pool.

Haven said that cameras and videos were widely banned at most pools in the UK.

Just because other prats enforce this absurd rule, it doesn't mean to say Haven have to!

Have we lost the ability to think for ourselves?

Do we blindly have to follow what others do, without question?

A statement issued by Haven said:

"We can fully understand the disappointment of parents who are unable photograph their children's early endeavours in the swimming pool.

Unfortunately, the use of cameras, videos and camera phones is now widely prohibited in most council and private swimming pools in the UK.

This also applies to sun bed areas, fitness gyms changing areas, aerobic and fitness classes, crèche and play group areas
."

They then drove another nail into their coffin by saying that there were many scenic and suitable areas at its holiday parks for family photographs.

Why, if taking photos in the pool is so evil, do they allow photos to be taken elsewhere?

Surely there is no difference?

Haven Holiday Parks, well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Waterboarding

I take it that I am not alone in being appalled to read that the police have allegedly been waterboarding criminal suspects.

How on earth have we come to this state of affairs?

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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Did You Know?

Did You Know?
This is currently doing the rounds of the infernal net at the moment, and rather neatly highlights why Nanny (in the shape and form of our MPs) is such a pain in the derriere and should be spurned as one would spurn a rabid dog.

She is a total hypocrite!

I would note that the list excludes expense abuse and tax dodging:)

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 600 employees and has the following employee statistics?

- 29 have been accused of spouse abuse

- 7 have been arrested for fraud

- 9 have been accused of writing bad cheque's

- 17 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses

- 3 have done time for assault

- 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

- 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

- 8 have been arrested for shoplifting

- 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits

- 84 have been arrested for drink driving in the last year

Which organisation is this ?

It's the 635 members of the House of Commons, the same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us inline.


UPDATE

Oh dear, evidently I have written utter bollocks today!

Mea Culpa!

The bit about tax dodging and expenses is true though...as is the fact that some MPs have been accused of various things such as spousal abuse, criminal activity, drugs etc.

The numbers though are evidently bollocks!

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Tax Investigation for Dummies

Tax Investigation for Dummies

Tax Investigation for Dummies provides a good and easy to read guide for anyone caught up in an HMRC tax investigation. A must read for any Self Assessment taxpayer.

Click the link to find out more: Tax Investigation for Dummies

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Oink!



I could not help but snort when I read this a wee while ago!

For centuries, nay longer, mankind has happily kept pigs; as the old saying goes "you can eat every part of a pig, except for his oink".

As and aside, I am pretty sure that I have eaten most parts of a pig at some stage or other in my life; ears, trotters, snout, skin etc.

Anyhoo, I digress!

It seems that Nanny, in the shape of her much "respected" Health and Safety Executive, has issued a leaflet telling farmers to wear earmuffs when feeding said porkers.

For why?

It seems that the squeals (from the pigs) constitute a threat to the hearing of the farmers.

Snort!

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Monday, June 08, 2009

The Dangers of Hand Driers



You know how all those companies that manufacture and market hot air hand driers have for so long pummeled home the Nanny type message that they are more hygienic than towels and paper?

Well, here's a funny thing, they're not!

Aside from not drying your hands at all efficiently (how many time have you had to finish the process off by wiping a still dripping paw on your trousers or skirt?), they spread more bugs than a bog standard (no pun intended) linen/paper towel.

One paper (Ngeow YF, Ong HW, Tan P. Dispersal of bacteria by an electric air hand dryer. Malays J Pathol. 1989 Aug;11:53-6.) found that air dryers dispersed marker bacteria in a radius of three feet and onto the investigator's laboratory coat.

Another study (Rebecca Montville, Yuhuan Chen and Donald W. Schaffner, Risk assessment of hand washing efficacy using literature and experimental data, International Journal of Food Microbiology, Volume 73, Issues 2-3, 11 March 2002, Pages 305-313) found that hot air dryers had the capacity to increase the bacterial count on the skin, and that paper towel drying decreased skin bacterial count. This is agreed upon by another study (Gould D. The significance of hand-drying in the prevention of infection.

Nurs Times. 1994 Nov 23-29;90(47):33-5) found that the mechanical action of paper towel drying removed bacteria, which is something hand dryers cannot do.

Pah!

What brought all of this bubbling to my mind?

Well, believe it or not, I have Nanny to thank. My partner Eva, who is currently on a teaching course, advises me that there is some form of government public health information out there advising us how to best wash our hands (wrt MRSA and Piggy Flu); seemingly Nanny cautions against hot air hand driers.

I have always felt that hand driers were a complete waste of space, now I have scientific evidence to back up my prejudice!

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Friday, June 05, 2009

The Dangers of Cricket

Cricket
Full marks to Mike Burgess for demonstrating the ultimate in Nannyism.

Four years ago he moved to Shamley Green, near Guilford in Surrey, where cricket has been played on its village green for 169 years.

There was but one fly in Burgess's oinkment, his house was at the very edge of the crease, and as such it was possible...nay probable...that the odd cricket ball would come hither his way.

Now, in the real world, you or I would have realised that when purchasing the house and factored it in to our buying decision.

Burgess, being a drone of Nanny, went one step further. He bought the house then sent series of demands to the cricket club, wrt protecting his house from cricket balls.

After a veritable blizzard of legal letters and independent mediation, Burgess recently sought an injunction against the club, preventing it from playing on the green until his demands are met.

His demands are "modest", he wants the club to put up 25ft high nets around his property to protect it from any stray balls, and for players to be declared out if they hit it so hard it clears the nets and hits his property.

He also wants a health and safety risk assessment to protect other homeowners and the general public while a match is on.

I would note that the club has a policy of paying for replacement windows and roof tiles caused by their cricketers.

Burgess said:

"It's a shame it's come to this but health and safety issues need to be addressed and resolved."

As I said, in the real world you or I would never have got ourselves into this situation (ie if we didn't like the idea of cricket balls hitting our house, we would never have moved there). However, in Nanny's world common sense is abandoned.

Truly pathetic!

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Thursday, June 04, 2009

The Dangers of Washing Lines

Washing Line
Now that summer seems to be finally on its way, there will be many Brits preparing to take their holidays in caravan sites across the country.

Woe betide them if they go to Sheerness Holiday Park and attempt to erect (can I say erect?) a washing line. Nanny's health and safety Gestapo have recently decreed that rotary washing lines are dangerous and, as such, managers at the site have banned them.

Donna Hough, site manager, said that lines posed a danger for playing children.

In fact Park Holidays UK, which runs the site, has banned rotary lines in all its sites in the UK.

Precisely how many people have impaled/hung themselves on a rotary washing line?

There are gazillions of these in use in people's homes across the country, are they really so dangerous?

Surely the use of bottled gas (often used in caravans for cooking) is far more dangerous?

What about the very real threat of Margaret Beckett rolling up in her caravan, does that constitute a threat to people's health and safety?

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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Brown's Failed Tripartite System

Ahem, told you!

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The Dangers of Sweets

ScumballsOh dear, if I had an award "Miserable Git of The Year" then surely Simon Duggan Headteacher of St Anselm's College in Birkenhead would be up for it.

Duggan has told his pupils that they will be kicked out of the classroom if they continue to trade sweets with each other.

Seemingly the budding Alan Sugars (ooh what a pun!) at the school have set up a "black market" selling everything from fizzy drinks, sweets, crisps.

Needless to say this thriving business contravenes the rules at the school which ban junk food, sweets and fizzy drinks.

Duggan wrote to parents saying:

"Sweets are not allowed to be sold in schools under food regulations and we will not let any student subvert these necessary rules.

The governors and I expect the full co-operation of parents in this matter. It is simply an issue of common sense.

We are keen to develop budding entrepreneurs but not if it involves doing something on the margins of legality
."

An over the top reaction by anyone's standards.

In my day (God how old am I to use that phrase?) we didn't trade sweets (we had a well stocked tuck shop), but there was a healthy market in porno mags (there is a particularly amusing story concerning a blow up doll available for hire, but I will leave that for another day).

Clearly standards are slipping, if it is only sweets that are traded, kids today eh!

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Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Barfing News

Barfing NewsGood news everyone, Jacqui Smith (Home Economics Minister, sorry Home Secretary) is to "resign" from the Cabinet (she will stay on as an MP in order to fund her lifestyle) in this week's reshuffle.

The Milky Bars are on me!

I wonder what will become of Jacqui's Irregulars?

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On Yer Bike!

Bicycle
It is sad to say, but people have been living under Nanny's cosh for so long now that many of them now instinctively act like Nanny even thouhg they end up looking ridiculous.

A wee while ago PCSO Tony Cobban was asked to pose for a photo shoot for the police, on a stationary bicycle at Halfords in Preston.

Alas, PCSO Cobban refused.

Can you guess why children?

Yes, that's right, health and safety!

Seemingly PCSO Cobban was worried that, as he had not yet taken his cycling proficiency test, sitting on a stationary (yes, I did say STATIONARY!!!) bicycle presented a clear and present danger to his health and safety.

I wonder how he tackles the criminals then?

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Monday, June 01, 2009

Nanny's Child Snatchers - Nottingham City Council

Nottingham Social ServicesEmulating the SS, Nottingham City Council have taken it upon themselves to snatch a child away from her mother because, in Nottingham City Council's eyes, the mother is too stupid to look after the child.

Welcome to ZaNuLabour Britain, where the state dictates who may or may not bring up their own children!

Rachel (24), who for legal reasons can be identified only by her first name, has been told by a family court that her daughter will be placed with adoptive parents within the next three months, and she will then be barred from further contact.

Is Rachel really that thick?

According to a psychiatrist Rachel has no learning difficulties and "good literacy and numeracy and [that] her general intellectual abilities appear to be within the normal range".

Her daughter was born prematurely and Nanny's "officials" decided that Rachel didn't have the brains to cope with her complex medical needs, as such the baby was "fostered out".

It should be noted that the medical issue has now been resolved, the baby now needs little or no day-to-day medical care.

So why the fark is Nanny still taking the child away?

There is a rather nasty added twist to this sad story, Rachel's attempts thus far to fight Nanny have been scuppered by the fact that her case was taken over by the official solicitor.

Guess who the official solicitor works for?

Yes, that's right, Nanny!

Nanny brought her own man in because Nanny decided that Rachel wasn't bright enough to instruct her own solicitor.

Good game this isn't it?

Nanny skews the result in her favour by putting her own man in the defence team.

Can you guess what Rachel's (sorry, Nanny's) solicitor did?

Yes, that's right, he declined to contest the council's adoption application, despite the fact that Rachel wanted to fight it.

This sounds more like some third world dictatorship, rather than a "democratic" first world country.

Does Nanny not see how bad this looks?

Answer: she does, but she doesn't care!

After the psychiatrist's assessment of Rachel, the court acknowledged that she does have the mental capacity to keep up with the legal aspects of her situation. However, it has refused her attempts to halt the adoption process.

Rachel is now going to the European Court to fight this.

Correct me if I am wrong, but there seems to be more than handful of slackjawed, dribbling, knuckle scrapping morons in this country who breed like rabbits and are allowed to keep their children (even though they allow them to roam the streets like packs of feral vermin).

There have also been a good few cases of appalling cruelty inflicted upon children (eg baby P), yet Nanny stood idly by. In this particular case Nanny is not even pretending that Rachel will deliberately harm her child.

Given the above obvious contradictions in state policy, why have the SS in Nottingham City Council acted in this way?

Nanny's behaviour in this instance is pretty loathsome as far as I can see. My gut tells me that there is something else here that Nanny does not want disclosed, ie Nanny is covering something up that will damage Nanny (not Rachel).

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