Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Happy New Year



A happy, peaceful and prosperous 2013 to one and all!

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Saturday, December 22, 2012

Happy Christmas



Have it large this Christmas!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, December 21, 2012

Nanny Bans Wanking Again



On Monday I wrote the following:
"In November I wrote about Nanny Cameron's plans for ISP's to block on porn sites:

"Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.
In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.

ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography."
I noted that the plan was of course bollocks and wouldn't work:
"It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations."
Less than one month on, and I am gemused to see that Nanny Cameron has vetoed the idea.

For why?

1 Parents who were "consulted" on the matter said that they didn't want it and, quite correctly, asserted that it was up to them NOT THE STATE to govern their children.

2 Nanny realised that the plan was bollocks and wouldn't work, it would in fact end up censoring/blocking sites that are designed to help children wrt sex etc.

3 The "danger" of the interent to children lies not so much with bums and boobies, but with those individuals (adults and children) who use it to bully/abuse others (hence parents would be wise to remind their kids not to talk to strangers.....as I was always told in an era gazillions of years before the internet).

So there we are folks, Nanny Cameron was told that the plan was bollocks and we can, for the moment, continue to wank ourselves unconscious in the privacy of our own home when using the net
."
However, those of you who rushed out to buy a lorry load of Kleenex may well be disappointed. As I went on to warn:
"..make the most of it whilst you can, as ever with Nanny and her acolytes she doesn't like it when her plans are thwarted. The NSPCC is already trying to rubbish the consultation, by claiming that parents' voices were not properly heard (I assume they mean the voices of those parents who agree with Nanny's plans).

This isn't over!
"
Well blinkey, blonkey, blimey less than five days on an Nanny Cameron has changed his mind and decided to ban it after all!

I knew he would cave in to pressure from various self appointed Nannytype bodies and change his mind, but I never thought he would so so in less than five days!

Utterly pathetic!

What was the point of consulting people if their views are to be ignored?

Anyone want to buy a tonne of Kleenex?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

The #economia50

My thanks to those who voted for me in economia’s (the official magazine of the ICAEW) list of the top 50 most influential sources of finance news and information in social media.

I am number 30 on the list.

As per economia:
We asked, and you responded. Here are the top 50 most influential sources of finance news and information in social media, voted for by economia readers and ordered by PeerIndex…


Using the hastag #economia50, readers sent us their nominations, we counted the votes and ranked them according to influence in association with PeerIndex, to reveal the economia Finance Twitter 50.

Topping the list is Michel Barnier, the EU commissioner who oversees financial regulation. The bilingual bureaucrat’s presence at the top of the list suggests the significance of the ongoing EU audit debate as well as the general uncertainty over the eurozone.

Aside from the influence of Europe, the list is dominated by journalists, with Newsnight’s economics editor Paul Mason coming in at number seven. The energetic tweeter offers insight to the UK economy and the political machinations behind it.

Flying the flag for chartered accountants in the top ten is Richard Murphy, founder of the Tax Justice Network and an advisor to the TUC on taxation and economic issues. A sometime columnist for The Guardian and Forbes.com, he offers his followers forthright views on the profession.

Never afraid to express his opinions on HMRC or the profession in general, Ken Frost rounds out the top 30. Frost writes regularly on his own website and blogs for Metro.

Given her role as chair of the Public Accounts Committee, which has spent the last month lambasting tax avoidance schemes used by large companies in the UK, it’s no surprise that MP Margaret Hodge features on our list at 37.”
The full list can be seen here economia.

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

Nanny Allows Tweeting When Drunk

I am gemused to read that the Director of Public Prosecutions has said that people who post offensive messages on websites such as Twitter while drunk, only to delete them when they sober up, are unlikely to face criminal prosecution.

Hoozah!

Does that mean Nanny will require urine samples from people everyone they post a tweet?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Nanny Bans Burning Clocks



Here in Brighton there is a gemusing little festival (going "all the way back" to 1995) held on the 21st of December, to mark the winter solstice, known as "Burning The Clocks".

As per Burning The Clocks:
"People gather to make paper and willow lanterns to carry through their city and burn on the beach as a token for the end of the year. No lantern is better for its purpose than any other, all are unique to the maker and precious, but all are given up to be burnt to greet the lengthening days. 

Burning the Clocks combines a family solstice parade with a high quality fire show and fireworks for the whole city. The lantern makers invest their lanterns with their wishes, hopes, and fears and then pass them into the fire."
Anyhoo, as loyal readers have already doubtless guessed, Nanny cannot possibly allow anything involving a group of people and naked flames to go ahead without sticking her bony old nose into it.

Thus it should come as no surprise at all to learn that this year candles will be replaced with electric lights.

For why?

Health and safety concerns.

The Argus reports that the lights will replace about 400 candles during the lantern procession that travels through the city before a bonfire takes place on the beach.

A spokeswoman said health and safety was a factor although there had been no serious incidents to prompt any changes.

Before the lanterns are thrown on the bonfire at the end, the LED lights will be taken out.

Ironically in neighbouring Lewes, on 5 November, street processions of burning torches are perfectly permissible even though there are numerous injuries each year!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Ooh La La! - Salty Cheese Is Good For You



Loyal readers will recall that barely a few weeks ago I wrote about Nanny's anti cheese campaign (based on the fact that cheese contains salt, which Nanny hates).

Seemingly Nanny's most hated of cheeses is Roquefort, not because it is French but because it has the highest levels of salt.

Anyhoo, but a few weeks on and some scientists from Lycotec (a Cambridge bio-tech company) have discovered that Roquefort has specific anti-inflammatory properties that may account for the “French paradox”; wherein people who live in France enjoy good health despite favouring a diet high in saturated fat.

The properties of the cheese were found to work best in acidic environments of the body, such as the lining of the stomach or the skin surface. According to the Telegraph acidification is also a common process accompanying inflammation such as in joints affected by arthritis or special plaque on an artery wall.
 
The team from Lycotec said:
Molded cheeses, including Roquefort, may be even more favourable to cardiovascular health.” 
So there you are, not only is salt good for your heart but the fat in the cheese must be good for it as well!.

As I have noted many times before, the body is like an engine; it needs fat/oil in the blood in order to help the blood flow smoothly through the veins!

I dare say that Stilton has exactly the same effect.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, December 17, 2012

Nanny Sanctions Wanking



In November I wrote about Nanny Cameron's plans for ISP's to block on porn sites:
"Nanny wants all new computers purchased and ISP services signed up for to ask their proud new owners at their first login whether they have children.

In the event the answer is "yes", the parent will be taken through the process of installing anti-pornography filters, as well as a series of questions on how stringent they wish the restrictions to be.

ISP's will also be told by Nanny to prompt existing customers to install the technology to block pornography.
"
I noted that the plan was of course bollocks and wouldn't work:
"It is quite clear that Nanny doesn't understand how the net works, nor indeed how cunning and bright the average teenager can be when looking to circumvent rules and regulations."
Less than one month on, and I am gemused to see that Nanny Cameron has vetoed the idea.

For why?

1 Parents who were "consulted" on the matter said that they didn't want it and, quite correctly, asserted that it was up to them NOT THE STATE to govern their children.

2 Nanny realised that the plan was bollocks and wouldn't work, it would in fact end up censoring/blocking sites that are designed to help children wrt sex etc.

3 The "danger" of the interent to children lies not so much with bums and boobies, but with those individuals (adults and children) who use it to bully/abuse others (hence parents would be wise to remind their kids not to talk to strangers.....as I was always told in an era gazillions of years before the internet).

So there we are folks, Nanny Cameron was told that the plan was bollocks and we can, for the moment, continue to wank ourselves unconscious in the privacy of our own home when using the net.

However, make the most of it whilst you can, as ever with Nanny and her acolytes she doesn't like it when her plans are thwarted. The NSPCC is already trying to rubbish the consultation, by claiming that parents' voices were not properly heard (I assume they mean the voices of those parents who agree with Nanny's plans).

This isn't over!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Saturday, December 15, 2012

The Roast Beef of Olde England



Today I will be roasting a 5.5 kilo (11lbs) rib of beef (on the bone and hung for at least 28 days), accompanied by my special Yorkshire pudding (made under the meat so it doesn't rise, but sucks in all the fat and juices of the meat).

I am having it large!

The recipe for the above can be found in my ebook "Accountants Can Cook" (it's free to download).

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, December 14, 2012

On The Couch With Nanny



I was gemused, but not particularly surprised, to read this article in Natural News which states that virtually every emotion we now have is classified by psychiatrists as a mental disorder.
"The industry of modern psychiatry has officially gone insane. Virtually every emotion experienced by a human being -- sadness, grief, anxiety, frustration, impatience, excitement -- is now being classified as a "mental disorder" demanding chemical treatment (with prescription medications, of course).

The new, upcoming DSM-5 "psychiatry bible," expected to be released in a few months, has transformed itself from a medical reference manual to a testament to the insanity of the industry itself.

"Mental disorders" named in the DSM-5 include "General Anxiety Disorder" or GAD for short. GAD can be diagnosed in a person who feels a little anxious doing something like, say, talking to a psychiatrist. Thus, the mere act of a psychiatrist engaging in the possibility of making a diagnoses causes the "symptoms" of that diagnoses to magically appear
."
The article goes on to quote Allen Frances who chaired the DSM-IV that was released in 1994. He now admits it was a huge mistake that has resulted in the mass over diagnosis of people who are actually quite normal. The DSM-IV:
"...inadvertently contributed to three false epidemics -- attention deficit disorder, autism and childhood bipolar disorder,"
Quite so!

How convenient for Nanny, and those companies contracted by her to produce little pills, that every emotion that we now have should be treated with a tablet.

Far better that we are drugged into a state of passive lethargy, rather than be driven by the creative and rebellious forces that lead to great works of art, scientific discovery and political/social revolution!

Van Gogh would have been drugged by Nanny into a state of non creativity.

Aldous Huxley foresaw such a society (its s people drugged by Soma) in"Brave New World".

In order to function and live life to the full as humans we have to experience emotions and moods, no matter how painful some of them are.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Nanny Bans Nanny



I was more than a little gemused to recently read that Nanny's chums from the Driver Vehicle and Licensing Agency (DVLA) have banned hundreds of Nanny's councils from accessing the DVLA database.

For why?

The naughty councils have been misusing it, therefore the DVLA have banned 294 bodies since 2009; including local councils, Sussex Police and Transport for London.

In addition, 38 organisations have been permanently banned over the same three-year period; including Camden, Southwark and Brighton and Hove.

The BBC reports that Big Brother Watch director Nick Pickles claims that officials have been accessing data on behalf of journalists or other outside parties in the past, sometimes for cash.

Naughty Nanny!

As I have noted many times before, councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Dangers of Puddings



'Tis the season to be jolly etc..unless that is you are Nanny!

As we prepare for our Christmas feasts, let us not forget that it is not just a time for stuffing a nice bird and for sinking our teeth into that same hot bird with plump breasts and tender thighs; but also a time for luxuriating in something hot and steamy.

I refer of course to puddings!

Unfortunately those of you shop at one of the Tesco stores in Southampton may have a wee spot of bother buying your puddings, for it seems that at Tesco they regard hot puddings as a health and safety issue and require you to carry proof of your age when trying to buy one.

I jest ye not!

Just ask Robert Nemeti (24) who recently tried to buy a chocolate pudding from Tesco Southampton; only to be barred from doing so by the self check out machine, until he produced proof of his age to a member of staff.

For why?

Tesco deemed the pudding to pose a risk to the roof of his mouth!

A member of staff at the store in Southampton demanded Mr Nemeti produce identification showing he was over 18, but that because he looked old enough anyway she waived him through when he said he had no proof.

Tesco said:
The self service machines can be temperamental. The pudding should not be an age-restricted product. It’s a mystery why the machine prompted staff to ask for ID.’ 
Bollocks!

The machine is only reacting to its programming input by Tesco staff.

The fact that no one in Tesco had the commonsense at the time to realise this was bollocks speaks volumes about how Nanny has dumbed us all down!

Enjoy your birds and puddings this Christmas everyone, before Nanny bans them!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Nanny Bans Burgers



I have to say I was gobsmacked when I read about Nanny's latest scheme to deprive us of freedom of choice.

This time Nanny's chums from Westminster council (a Tory council) have decreed that we are not to be allowed to order rare or medium rare burgers, lest we become ill from them.
 
The Evening Standard reports that after routine inspections by environmental health officers, Westminster council challenged the way Davy’s was serving its £13.95 burgers at one of its restaurants in central London. Davy’s has taken the case to the High Court, which experts say could set a legal precedent as to whether or not diners will be able to order meat rare.

A Davy’s spokesman said:
The burgers are produced from high quality ingredients and Davy’s contends that it has safe measures in place to serve rare or medium-rare burgers.”
James Armitage, the council’s food health and safety manager, said:
This is about making sure customers are eating meat that is not a threat to their health. It is possible to produce burgers that can be eaten undercooked, but strict controls are essential.

We have enlisted the UK’s top expert on E. coli, Prof Hugh Pennington, to get this matter resolved and he has outlined that rare minced meat that is not correctly cooked and prepared can kill.”
"Ironically" the Food Standards Agency (FSA) has stated that there are no rules banning the sale of raw or rare meat by restaurants or caterers.

Tony Lewis, of the Chartered Institute of Environmental Health, said: the case would have “nationwide implications”.
This ban is of course bollocks, and is another example of a local council exceeding their remit and imposing their prejudices on all and sundry.

Having banned rare burgers, the next step is to ban steak tartare.

I have eaten steak tartare many times (excellent with Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce and a raw egg..raw eggs are also frowned upon by Nanny!), and have yet to become remotely ill from it.

This is a typical council overreaction.

Councils are the enemies of the people!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, December 10, 2012

Prats of The Week - Hellesdon Parish Council

Ooh err missus, I have been so occupied with other Nanny matters that there has been quite a gap since my last "Prats of The Week" Award.

Therefore, without further ado, I am happy to announce that this week it goes to Nanny's chums from Hellesdon Parish Council.

For why?

Just ask Samantha Dade, a professional child minder who needed to accompany her five year old diabetic daughter (Tilly-Rose) to a Christmas party held in in the Hellesdon community centre the other week.

Sadly for Mrs Dade and her daughter, she was told that she would not be allowed to accompany Tilly-Rose (even though Tilly-Rose doesn't have "hypo awareness" and cannot sense when she is in danger) which in effect would mean that Tilly-Rose could not go.

Why was Mrs Dade banned?

Hellesdon Parish Council's policy sates that only adults who are CRB checked would be allowed to come to the party. One wonders what an adult with evil intentions could do in a public place surrounded by other adults, but Nanny's rules are somewhat inflexible.

Anyhoo, the rather "odd" thing is that Mrs Dade does in fact have CRB accreditation, done by Norfolk County Council.

So all's well that ends well?

No, for you see Hellesdon Parish Council insisted that the check has to be carried out by them as well, and that Norfolk County Council's CRB check is not transferable.

Suffice to say a stink was raised over this nonsense.

Can you guess what happened next children?

Yes, that's right, Hellesdon Parish Council in the face of being made to look like knobheads in public changed its mind and reversed its decision.

The Lowestoft Journal reports that at a meeting last week, Hellesdon Parish Council decided to revoke their decision on barring Mrs Dade from taking her daughter to their party on Saturday – but only after banning the Norwich Evening News and Eastern Daily Press from the meeting.


Hellesdon Parish Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, December 07, 2012

USA Nanny Bans Christmas Tree

As loyal readers know, Nanny does not just confine herself and her activities to this septic isle; Nanny is happy to ply her evil trade throughout the world. As such, I occasionally feature stories about International Nanny and her activities.

This being the season of goodwill etc, I would like to share with you a rather sad story about USA Nanny's meanness to the elderly residents of the Willows senior apartment complex in Newall USA.

This being the season of the goodwill the residents normally erect a communal Christmas tree and also menorahs.

Not this year.

For why?

Nanny's chums from JB Partners Group Inc. (who have run the complex for four years) sent a memo to staff at The Willows senior apartment building demanding that they take down Christmas trees and menorahs in communal areas.

Why?

Nanny does not want any religious symbols in the communal areas.

Factoid: Christmas trees have nothing to do with Christianity, they are a throwback to pagan times.

Anyhoo, the residents are well pissed off and are fighting back and have erected a neon green sign that reads:
"Please Save Our Tree."
Robert Troudeau a resident is quoted by the Daily News:
"There are people overseas fighting for our freedoms and dying and we're here fighting over things like this. It's a shame."
For shame on Nanny!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, December 06, 2012

Nanny Bans Kids at Christmas



'Tis the season to be jolly, unless that is you are Nanny!

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed out that Nanny's chums from Eldwick Primary School in Bingley has banned children from watching the school's festive concerts.

For why?

Because they might be too noisy, and disrupt the performance of their siblings on stage.

The school has decreed that parents can come to their school Christmas concert being held at the local church, but that they must not bring any other children.

What the fark?

Kids are, by definition, noisy and disruptive. However, this is a primary school concert not the Berlin Philharmonic being conducted by the late Herbert von Karajan!

The kids surely should be allowed to watch their chums/siblings on stage?

Given the ongoing hysteria over adults' relationships with kids I am surprised that adults are allowed in to watch the concert at all.

Nanny loosen up and get a life!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Nanny's Cat Cam



Beware Nanny's secret new CCTV, cunningly disguised as a cat!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

The Ultimate Christmas Present



Ladies and gentlemen, in the run up to the festive season, doubtless many of you are fretting about what to give the kids this Christmas.

May I suggest Gilbert's Atomic Energy Lab (guaranteed "safe", in 1950)?

The sturdy metal box contains:

1. U-239 Geiger radiation counter.
2. Electroscope to measure radioactivity of different substances.
3. Spinthariscope to watch "live" radioactive disintegration.
4. Wilson Cloud Chamber to see paths of electrons & alpha particles at 10k mps
5. Three very low-level radioactive sources (Alpha, Beta, Gamma).
6. Four samples of Uranium-bearing ores
7. Nuclear Spheres (used to visual build models of molecules)
8. The book "Prospecting for Uranium"
9. The "Gilbert Atomic Energy Manual"
10. The comic book "Learn How Dagwood Splits the Atom"
11. Three "Winchester" Batteries (size "C")

One in the eye for Nanny and her health and safety gestapo!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, December 03, 2012

Nanny Bans SpongeBob Squarepants



Commiserations to SpongeBob Squarepants who went to Wolverhampton's Market Square the other evening to turn on the Christmas lights, only to be prevented from doing so by the local council.

For why?

Seemingly health and safety rules deemed that SpongeBob was just too wide to walk up five steps onto the platform, where he was meant to press the button.

All very well I suppose, if he really couldn't mount (can I use the word "mount"  before the watershed?) the steps.

However, one would have thought that the council should have thought of that before they spent £2,000 of taxpayers' money on hiring Mr Squarepants to appear.

Yes, you did read that correctly......£2,000!

For £50 and a drink I would have done it in any costume they wanted!

One wonders where local councils keep their brains when they come up with schemes to waste our money?

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Friday, November 30, 2012

Nanny Bans The Ploughman's Lunch



My thanks to Macheath who, based on yesterday's article about Nanny banning cheese, has unearthed Nanny's sinister plot to ban the Ploughman's Lunch!
"So now it's cheese...

Prof Graham McGregor, September 2011:
"It is frankly outrageous that bread still contains so much salt. The Department of Health needs to ensure that [...] all manufacturers reduce the salt of bread to less than the target of 1g per 100g."

Meanwhile, at the CASH website:
'Avoid salty spreads such as mustard, salted butter and pickle'

Bit by bit, he's basically declaring war on the ploughman's lunch
."
The pieces are falling into place now!

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Thursday, November 29, 2012

Nanny Hates Cheese

Oh dear oh dear, I see our old chums from Consensus Action on Salt and Health (Cash) are on the warpath again.

This time they are ranting about the amount of salt put into cheese.

Seemingly the most salty cheese is roquefort.

Cash keep prattling on that salt intake should be less than 6g a day.

Bollocks!

The amount of salt intake that is "safe" depends on the age, health, size, fluid intake and sweat of an individual.

Cash chairman Prof Graham MacGregor is quoted by the BBC:
"Even small reductions will have large health benefits. For every one gram reduction in population salt intake we can prevent 12,000 heart attacks, stroke and heart failure, half of which would have been fatal.

The Department of Health must now stop its delaying tactics and set new much lower targets for cheese manufacturers, and make sure they achieve them. The cheese industry must comply if we are to save the maximum number of lives." 
Piss off!

I like strong salty cheese, it is not Nanny's place to dictate to me what type of cheese I can eat.

What is it with these single issue groups that makes them think that they have the right to dictate to us what we may or may not drink, eat, smoke or imbibe?

Dr Judith Bryans, director of the Dairy Council, notes that Cash is using dodgy research to justify its own warped philosophy:
"The Cash survey is mixing up the effect of cheese on health with the effect of salt on health.

Cheese provides a wide range of nutrients including protein, vitamins and important minerals such as calcium.

Salt is an integral part of the cheese-making process. It is not added for taste or flavour but for safety and technical reasons.

Cheese manufacturers have worked very hard to reduce salt levels in their products and worked constructively and positively with government agencies to do this whilst producing products which are nutritious, safe and acceptable to the consumer."
Well said!

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Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Booze Matters - Nanny's Minimum Pricing Plan



As I have stated many times before on this site (and indeed some of my other sites), Nanny is broke.

Sadly, unlike you and I when we find ourselves short of money, instead of tightening her belt Nanny chooses the easy option and raises taxes and fines (ie Nanny screws the citizens of the UK in order that she may continue to enjoy the privileges of power to which she has become accustomed).

An easy source of revenue for Nanny is the taxation levied on booze (given that she drinks in taxpayer subsidised bars in Westminster this tax doesn't impact her lifestyle one iota).

Therefore today Cameron (the man who was happily drinking champers the other day in Brussels at £120 per bottle) is launching a consultation on minimum booze pricing (45p per unit).

The plans would not just put the price of "shite" booze up (as claimed by Nanny), but the price of normal drink (eg G&T) would also rise. Gin is expected to rise by 20%, and whisky by 10%.

Multi-buy offers would also be banned under the proposals.

Nanny claims that the price rises are designed to impact the cost of premium strength booze, drunk by those she regards as "scum".

She is lying, these proposals will increase the price of booze for us all.

As I have noted many times before, this will not work:

1 People will brew their own illegal hooch.

2 Hardened drinkers will continue to buy booze.

3 It will encourage more binge drinking on cheaper shite.

4 It is the thin end of the wedge, as Nanny will continue to increase the minimum price.

5 It will be used as an excuse to set minimum prices for other "vices" that Nanny disapproves of.

6 It will be used by the single issue obsessives as an excuse to launch a moral crusade against alcohol and to try to ban it altogether.

Meanwhile Nanny continues to enjoy taxpayer subsidised booze in Westminster!

This is simply a method used by Nanny to raise revenue to pay for her perks, privileges and lifestyle.

This is not Conservatism with a small "c", this is state dictatorship infringing on our rights to live our lives as we wish to.

Cameron is not a Conservative, he is a state interventionist.
 
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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Swedish Nanny - Gender Reversal

As loyal readers know, I am oft to spread my tentacles abroad to search out and highlight foreign Nanny's doings. This time I would like to highlight the doings of Swedish Nanny (a country I used to live and work in).

Step forward Top Toy, which produces children's Christmas catalogues in Sweden and Denmark for Toys R Us and BR.

So far so good.

However, RT reports that although the catalogues' page layouts are the same in both countries, the gender of children shown playing with the toys is reversed in the Swedish edition; eg a girl is shown playing with a machine gun in the Swedish edition.

Top Toy director of sales Jan Nyberg is quoted:
"With the new gender thinking, there is nothing that is right or wrong. It's not a boy or a girl thing, it's a toy for children." 
Top Toy is clearly running scared, in 2008, the company was criticised by Swedish Nanny's advertising watchdog Reklamombudsmannen (RO) for encouraging outdated gender roles with catalogues that featured boys dressed as superheroes and girls as princesses.

It is of course "ironic" that a country that eschews the machismo of "gun culture" should be happy to promote images of girls wielding machine guns. However, so long as it is "gender" neutral who cares?!

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Monday, November 26, 2012

Drought To Last Until Christmas



From the BBC in April 2012:
"Official drought zones have been declared in a further 17 English counties, as a warning came that water shortages could last until Christmas."
Snort!

I blame global warming for the EPA's failure!

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The Danger of Dildos



It being a gloomy, grey and dismal Monday morning what better way to cheer us all up than to read a gemusing tale of how Nanny jailed a yob for five years for brandishing a dildo during a street row.

Court News reports that Ian Poulton was reported to police, as he was having a row with another person in the street, by panicked neighbours who thought that a dildo tucked into his waistband was a gun.

Given the perceived nature of the threat fifteen officers armed with machine guns swooped on him as he walked along a street in Telford, Shropshire, on May 22.

Passing sentence, Judge Robin Onions said:
"It was clearly not a gun, be it imitation or real.

It was an entirely innocent object. 

It was the defendant’s intention to deceive.

Witnesses thought it was a firearm so he has to take the consequences."
Poulton, compounding his offence, put up resistance when officers tried to arrest him and damaged a police car in the scuffle.

He admitted possessing an imitation firearm (the dildo) with intent to cause fear of violence, criminal damage and assault causing actual bodily harm.

Poulton, of Mill Bank, Wellington, Shropshire, further admitted criminal damage to a laptop, aggravated vehicle taking, assault occasioning actual bodily harm and common assault on a neighbour, all committed in July.
 

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Saturday, November 24, 2012

Nanny's Child Catchers From Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council


On Monday I noted that Nanny had called for hundreds more vulnerable children a year to be taken into care.

Swift off the mark to heed Nanny's call and to show loyalty to the state was Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council, which has decreed that the three foster children that a couple have been caring for since September (note the couple have been foster parents for over six years) must be removed from their care.

For why?

The couple belong to UKIP.

So?

Nanny received a tip off that the couple belong to UKIP; ie the council uses anonymous informers to spy on people!

Nanny sent her Gestapo around to the couple's house, the Gestapo informed that couple that UKIP was a racist party and that the three children (because they were non British) must be removed from their care.

Factoid: UKIP may well have views on immigration/multiculturalism. However, that does not necessarily make it a racist party.

Factoid: Given that the couple voluntarily fostered the three kids, knowing that they were non British, they can hardly be described as being racists can they?

All of this means nothing to Nanny.

Step forward Joyce Thacker, the council's Director of Children and Young People's Services, who is quoted in the Telegraph:
"We always try to place children in a sensible cultural placement. These children are not UK children and we were not aware of the foster parents having strong political views. There are some strong views in the Ukip party and we have to think of the future of the children.

Also the fact of the matter is I have to look at the children's cultural and ethnic needs. The children have been in care proceedings before and the judge had previously criticised us for not looking after the children's cultural and ethnic needs, and we have had to really take that into consideration with the placement that they were in.

 We have to think about the clear statements on ending multi-culturalism for example. 

These children are from EU migrant backgrounds and Ukip has very clear statements on ending multiculturalism, not having that going forward, and I have to think about how sensitive I am being to those children.
This is of course an abhorrent thing to do and the lesson is clear; if you belong to a party that the state disapproves of, the state will take your children away from you.

Councils are the enemies of the people.

Rotherham Metropolitan Borough Council's decision must be overturned, and its network of informers and spies dismantled, if the British people are to once again regain their freedom!

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Friday, November 23, 2012

Nanny Bans Nipples



Oooh err Missus, as we all know Brighton is not exactly prudish when it comes to matters risque. Therefore I was surprised to learn that Brighton Nanny has got her knickers in a twist over a mural of a woman with nipple tassels, that has adorned the wall of a burlesque shop for a number of years.

Owner Nic Ramsey said she was forced to paint over the artwork after complaints were made to the council.

How many people complained?

A staggering total to TWO!

Ah Nanny's favourite weapon, that she loves to deploy in order to stifle freedom of expression, the tyranny of the minority.

As well as the painting of Laura Nixon, a Brighton-based Marilyn Monroe look alike, with nipple tassels and a multicoloured fan, Nanny also banned an animal mural of the Garden of Eden with insects “bonking” and bugs having threesomes.

The Argus reports that about 20 women donned nipple tassels to protest against the loss of the mural before it was painted over.

Despite the nipple ban, I understand that Brighton's annual nude bike ride will continue as will the nudist beach.

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Thursday, November 22, 2012

Do Not Feed The Horses



Loyal readers with ultra long memories may recall that way back in June 2005 I wrote about how Nanny took offence to one of her horses being called gay:
"Sam Brown a student celebrating the end of his finals at Oxford happened upon a mounted police officer.

For reasons best known to himself, he asked as to whether the horse was gay.

Being a good student, when not receiving a satisfactory answer, he repeated the question a few times.

The police were not amused, and despite trying to apologise Brown found himself "nicked".

It seems that it required 6 officers to take track him down, he boldly tried to make a run for it, and bring him to justice.

A spokesman for Thames Valley Police said that the "homophobic comments" were offensive to the policeman and his horse.
"
It seems that seven years on, Nanny is still very sensitive when it comes to equine matters; as Francis Kelly found to his cost.

Mr Kelly was charged with causing a breach of the peace in Glasgow earlier this year.

For why?

He seemingly broke the law when he ignored police warnings and gave a sausage roll to a police horse.

Whilst it may well be that Mr Kelly was being a bit of a plonker, he claims that the horse looked hungry. Despite this, Nanny is planning to take him to court next year because in her view he behaved in a “threatening or abusive manner” by attempting to feed meat to the horse. 

Is this really an efficient use of police and the court's time and resources?

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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Nanny's Safe Christmas

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me to Nanny's annual "Have a Safe Christmas" roadshow in Wokingham.

As per Get Wokingham:
"The annual Have a Safe Christmas roadshow returns with a series of events across the borough.

The event, run by Wokingham Borough Council, offers people the chance to meet emergency services, trading standards and the community safety team to find out how to stay safe over the festive period.

Roadshows take place at:
In ASDA, in Chalfont Way, Lower Earley, on Thursday, November 29, from 10am to 1pm.
In Tesco, in Finchampstead Road, Wokingham, on Friday, November 30, from 10am to 1pm.
In Sainsbury’s, in King Street Lane, Winnersh, on Wednesday, December 5, from 10am to 1pm.

Trading standards officers will provide information about counterfeit goods and rogue traders. 

Royal Berkshire Fire and Rescue Service will have information about candle safety and checking Christmas lights."
This is all very well intentioned, I am sure.

However, do people not already know that candles can, if improperly positioned etc, present a fire hazard?

Do people not realise that a cheap gift from a dodgy trader may well not be safe? etc etc.

How did we survive Christams before Nanny came along?

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Auntie's Reporter Calls For UK To Be Chav Free



How very odd, one of Auntie's technology reporters (Dave Lee) has tweeted a call for Leicester Square to be euthanised every Saturday night in order for the UK to become "chav free".

Don't believe me?

Here is his Tweet:
"Leicester Square is a moron magnet. We should euthanise it every saturday for the next year, and the UK will be chav free."
Let's see how long that is allowed to stay before Auntie orders him to remove it.

Hat tip to Guido for spotting it.


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