Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Bollocks Research


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Friday, May 22, 2015

Censorship Coming



I see that Theresa May wants to turn Ofcom into a pre-broadcast censor, by giving it new powers to take pre-emptive action against programmes that included “extremist content”.

This will not end well!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

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Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The Joys of Insurance


In this risk averse age I am always gemused that people, councils etc rush to insure themselves against all and sundry fates. Yet the insurance companies themselves do all they can to avoid paying out when misfortune strikes.

One would be tempted to ask what is the farking point of insurance?

On that note I was particularly gemused to read the terms and conditions of a travel insurance policy, specifically the very limited number of circumstances under which the insurance firm would pay out to cover costs if the trip were cancelled.

In essence there are very few circumstances under which the company would cover cancellation costs. However, they do generously cede that the death of the insured traveller pre departure is one circumstance that would justify payout for a cancelled trip!

Don't you just love insurance companies?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Fines For Tardiness


I see that Nanny has come up with a wizard wheeze for raising money, namely fining parents of kids who are persistently late for school up to £60.

Ker Farking Ching!

Easy money!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

The Dangers of Rulers


My commiserations to Kyron Bradley (9 years old) who found himself on the wrong end of Nanny's risk aversion recently.

His crime?

Using a broken ruler as a sword in a playground games of  "knights and dragons".

We used to use full length umbrellas when I was a nipper, rather more dangerous I would have thought than a broken ruler.

Anyhoo, you can all guess what happened next.

His mum was called to the school (George's Bickley CE Primary School, Bromley, Kent) to see the head, and it was explained to Kyron that the game was dangerous.

Fair enough, in this modern world that such a modest game be frowned upon?

Not really, but for Kyron it then got worse.

A couple of days later the police also came along to the school to explain why it was dangerous.

Am I so out of touch with risk to find that this seems a tad over the top?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Monday, May 18, 2015

Prats of The Week - Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust

My thanks to a loyal reader, who advised me about some really prattish behaviour by Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust concerning Max Hurry (a normal five-year-old boy).

It seems that Nanny's health Gestapo deemed Max to be overweight, and decreed that he should go to fat club.

The fact is Max is not fat, he is 3ft 6in tall and weighs 3st 3lb.

The Mirror quotes the letter that his parents received:
These results suggest that your child’s weight to height ratio, in line with their age and sex, is a concern.

Excess weight can lead to serious health problems.

In short this can effect psychological wellbeing (bullying and low self-esteem), asthma and early onset of diabetes.

Your GP would like to help and will soon be contacting you to invite your child and family to attend a Healthy Lifestyle Review.” 
"Lifestyle Review"!! 

What farking bollocks!

It seems that the letter was prompted by Nanny's National Child Measurement Programme which uses that bollocks KPI, that is derided by all and sundry, BMI.

The Trust is unapologetic:
We contact families to let them know if their child is eligible. Unless they tell us they do not wish to be contacted, their GP will invite them to the lifestyle review.”
Fark off, the kid's not fat!

Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, May 15, 2015

The Cash Piles of Charities


The Telegraph reports that the late Olive Cooke was "struggling to manage her finances after being besieged with begging letters from dozens of charities".

It has been noticeable for many years that many charities (despite sitting on billions of pounds of undistributed cash reserves) have turned themselves into ruthless revenue raising machines, which bombard people either in the street or in their own homes with eg chuggers, letters, TV adverts and cold calls.

Our area is regularly blighted by door knockers from various charities who (apparently) have the "right" to confront you on your own doorstep up to 21:00 on a working day.

It should be noted that some cold callers (door knockers and phone callers) are paid a commission by the charities for the money they raise.

I think it is high time that these charities start to disburse the vast piles of cash that they are sitting on, and reflect on the fact that harassing people and trying to make them feel guilty is in the long term counterproductive.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Prats of The Week - The WHO

Despite the fact that Ebola is still raging in West Africa, and various other diseases are running amok (eg malaria and HIV) it is refreshing to see that the World Health Organisation (The WHO) has its priorities right.

It has decided that naming diseases after places and occupations may just be too offensive, as such it wants certain diseases renamed.

Included in the list of offensive diseases are German measles, Legionnaire's disease, Cooks syndrome, Psoriasis butchers disease, Japanese encephalitis, Middle East respiratory syndrome and Rift Valley fever.

For why?

They might offend countries and professions!

FFS!

WHO assistant director general Dr Keiji Fukudasaid is quoted by the Telegraph:
This may seem like a trivial issue to some, but disease names really do matter.  
We’ve seen certain disease names provoke a backlash against members of particular religious or ethnic communities, create unjustified barriers to travel, commerce and trade, and trigger needless slaughtering of food animals. 
This can have serious consequences for people’s lives and livelihoods.
Bollocks!

Will this save lives?

No!

Is this a good use of The WHO's time, money and resources?

No!

The WHO, well deserving Prats of The Week!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Legacy of Green Rule in Brighton



Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Twat - Left Wing Nanny Bans Customers


Were the shopkeeper to ban people on the basis of race, sex or any other issue he would be arrested.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Thursday, May 07, 2015

The McDonald's Breathalyser


It seems that McDonald’s is so worried about the health etc of its customers, that it is considering breathalysing customers who want to use the fast food outlet in Rose Crescent Cambridge.
Security staff at Rose Crescent are being given testing kits by police that will detect whether anyone is over twice the drink-drive limit. Police stressed that the test would not be a “requirement of entry” for everyone, but could help employees turn violent or aggressive people away.

Joseph Keegan, from Cambridgeshire County Council ‘s alcohol action team, told the Independent that they were trying to stop people “putting their health at risk”.

He said every person turned away from a venue would be offered a card with information about risks and cutting down on alcohol abuse.

It is ironic that people who are allegedly "drunk" will be denied food, given that (as far as I understand it) "experts" always recommend that you eat something when drinking (so as to soak up the booze).

It is also ironic, on election day, that whilst a fast food outlet ponders allowing people in to buy a burger that people are allowed to vote when drunk/stoned!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Nanny Bans Flowerpots

As loyal readers know Nanny has something of a bee in her bonnet about health and safety issues, and is prone to fret about "trip hazards" and the like.

Brighton residents Hollie Paige Mather and her father Stuart (who both live in a maisonette) found this to their cost recently, when Nanny's chums from Pepper Fox (a property management company that manage the Mathers' home) sent them a letter about some flower pots outside their home.

Pepper Fox want the Mathers to remove the flower pots, as they apparently aren't covered by the building insurance policy lest they cause an accident. The Mathers have until 12 May to remove them, after that Pepper Fox have said they will remove them at cost to the Mathers.

Fair enough, maybe, until one takes into the account the following:

1 The flowerpots have been there for 20 years, and do not breach the tenancy agreement.

2 Pepper Fox have been managing agents of the Mathers' home for 3 years (one wonders why this is now an issue?)

3 The insurance policy relates to the building not the outside.

4 As can be seen from the above pictures the flower pots do not extend beyond the width of the recycling boxes (which have to be placed outside the house).

5 The flower pots do not cause an obstruction.

6 Hollie has called the council who have told her that the outside of the house constitutes the public highway and, as such, the insurance policy is not relevant and any attempt to remove the flower pots by Pepper Fox would constitute theft.

The Mathers have called the person from Pepper Fox who wrote the letter to tell them what the council has said. However, that person has yet to return their call.

Suffice to say, the Mathers are standing firm against Nanny's nonsense!

Pepper Fox were asked to comment, but at the time of writing have not responded.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Compulsory Coffee Lids


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, May 01, 2015

Quoted In The Media


I have just seen that I was quoted in the Scottish Mail on Sunday on 29 March.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries