Happy New Year

I wish you all a happy, healthy, peaceful and prosperous 2014!

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Happy Christmas!

Happy Christmas everyone, make sure you ignore Nanny's advice and enjoy yourselves!

I see that in keeping with the season, the UK is experiencing weather and travel chaos!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Bans Christmas Cock

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of this piece of seasonal Nanny nonsense, imposed by Mole Valley District Council on Dorking's cockerel statue.

It seems that some "guerrilla knitters" did some seasonal decoration upon the cockerel to make it look like a Christmas tree, complete with lights, baubles and a large silver star on his head.

However, within 12 hours Mole Valley District Council had removed the display, claiming that the statue had been damaged.

Council leader Chris Townsend told the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser:

"MVDC welcomes the ever-increasing festive spirit being displayed in Dorking as Christmas approaches.

We have embraced the often spectacular decorations which have adorned the iconic cockerel in the past but, on this occasion, it has been necessary to remove the Christmas decorations with which it was adorned over the weekend.

This decision was taken after a close inspection raised concerns about the cumulative damage, caused by a range of factors, that risked the long-term condition of the statue.

The council will be looking to see what repairs might be required in the New Year."

Knit 'n' Knatter group leader Clare Davies said:

"We take very great care not to do anything to damage him because we respect him totally," said the North Holmwood resident.

If we thought we were going to hurt him in any way we would not do it. We make sure we only use soft rope and string to put anything on him."

The lesson here is, treat your cockerel with respect this Christmas lest Nanny punishes you.

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

RIP Peter O'Toole

Peter O’Toole had no time for Nanny's anti drink nonsense and once said:

“Fornication, madness, murder, drunkenness, shouting, shrieking… and the breaking of bones, such jollities constitute acceptable behaviour…” 

 As per the Telegraph, it was a motto that he and his coterie of British and honorary British hellraisers – Richard Burton, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed and Peter Finch – lived out on a daily basis.

Farewell gentlemen, we won't see your like again!

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

A Sign Is But A Sign!

Words of wisdom from the Simpsons!


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Doggy Doo Dah

My thanks to a loyal reader who pointed me in the direction of a "brilliant" wheeze dreamt up by Nanny's chums from Stafford Council, wrt reducing the amount of dog shit on the streets.

Stafford borough council will give anyone who provides details about dog fouling the full £75 from a resulting fixed penalty, or the same amount if the information leads to a successful prosecution and a larger fine.

I concur that dog shit is a curse of many a park and pavement. However, I wonder about the wisdom of financially incentivising people to report it. I am also unclear as to how the reports provided by dog shit vigilantes could be proven.

What are your views on this?


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Nanny Hates Baby Boomer Boozers

I see that Nanny is having another pop at booze again, this time focusing her ire on the "baby boom" generation of middle class drinkers.

Seemingly, according to the Health and Social Care Information Centre, in 2012/13, 202,000 men and 87,000 women were admitted to hospital for reasons that were “wholly” attributable to alcohol.

The steepest rise in hospital alcohol admissions came among men and women in their sixties, with a 178% rise in admissions of men aged 65 to 69, and a 177% increase in admissions for women aged 60 to 64.

Dr Nick Sheron, a liver specialist from the University of Southampton, is quoted by the Telegraph:

"It used to be that alcohol was sold largely in pubs and we thought wine was a filthy continental habit. 

Now we see people drinking far more wine and also spirits - there have been massive changes in women’s habits so that today we see white wine at the end of almost every supermarket aisle."

Julia Manning, chief executive of 2020Health think tank, said:

“Middle-aged, middle-class drinkers are drinking much more than they realise. They are drinking more frequently, they are drinking stronger alcohol and they are using it as a common antidote for stress. 

On top of this is the cumulative effect of drinking over the years. We have become ever more rebellious in recent decades and it makes me wonder whether there has been a significant culture shift away from taking responsibility and behaving like a grown-up.” 

Her point about taking responsibility for our lives is valid. However, people's lack of responsibility comes not so much from "rebelliousness" but from the cumulative effects of the Nanny state interfering in and micro managing people's lives.


Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Electric Blankets for All

I see that Nanny has suggested that we should use electric blankets in order to reduce our heating bills, and lessen the chances of the elderly freezing to death during the winter.

May I suggest a more energy efficient alternative?

Good old fashioned bed warmers (heated by hot coals)!

Failing that, how about removing the green tax levy on energy bills; thus reducing people's heating bills at the stroke of Nanny's pen?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

Visit The Joy of Lard and indulge your lard fantasies.

Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

www.nannyknowsbest.com is brought to you by www.kenfrost.com "The Living Brand"

Visit Oh So Swedish Swedish arts and handicrafts

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries