Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Monday, June 10, 2024

Stop Breathing To Save The Planet!


 

I am sure that the Goblin of Doom and her vile acolytes would be delighted if 90% of the world's human population simply died!


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Tuesday, June 04, 2024

Know Your Limits - Nanny's Fake Booze Target


 

It transpires that Nanny's "safe" booze target of 14 units is in fact totally made up!

Who would have thought that?

The actual safe limit is around 80, but Nanny doesn't trust us to behave responsibly so she treats us like children!


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Wednesday, May 22, 2024

The Media Blames Climate Change For Singapore Airlines Boeing Freefall


 

The media have been quick to blame climate change for the Singapore Air freefall event yesterday.

However, as usual with the media and their obsession with  the climate change scam, the media are lying.

The actual cause of the Boeing freefall was an aircraft stall. This usually happens for one of two reasons:

1 Pilot error, or

2 Autopilot error.

Maybe next time, instead of jumping onto the climate change bandwagon, the media should check their facts first!


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Thursday, May 16, 2024

Climate The Same As It Was 2,000 Years Ago!


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Tuesday, April 23, 2024

This Is Where Your Recylcing Ends Up!


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Friday, April 19, 2024

Nanny Bans Jewish Looking People



 

Nanny's chums in the Met (a police force that most certainly doesn't conduct "two tier policing") decided to impede a man's progress on the street because he looked Jewish, and therefore might prompt a violent reaction from some pro Palestinian rabble demonstrating in the vicinity.

Nanny and her organs (eg police, civil service etc) are running scared of radical Islam and the tea towel wearing dross that has latched on to it. As such, anyone with a contrary viewpoint or "Jewish features" is swiftly bundled away lest they cause the rabble to react.

When you start kowtowing to the mob, all hope is lost!


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Thursday, April 11, 2024

Avoid Deportation By Becoming a Sex Offender

 

Hot on the heels of fake conversions for illegal migrants who want to avoid deportation, the church is now suggesting deportation can be avoided if they commit a sex offence!

Oddly enough, Sly News have turned the comments off for their tweet on the subject!


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Tuesday, April 09, 2024

Guardian Likens George Floyd To Satan


 

Even by the Guardian's piss pathetic standards of "journalism" this is total bollocks!


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Wednesday, April 03, 2024

Yousaf Hoisted By His Own Petard - How Fitting!


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Tuesday, April 02, 2024

Humza's Hated Hate Crime Law


 

Without any sense of irony whatsoever, Humza's vile and despised hate crime law came into force yesterday (Aprils Fools' Day).

Suffice to say people took full advantage of being able to report anyone and anything, and duly reported en masse Humza Yousaf and Anas Sarwar for racism relating to anti white speeches they have made.

Credit where credit is due, the Indian Council of Scotland reported Police Scotland for their anti white racism, and got a positive result.

 



 Meanwhile JK Rowling is daring the police to arrest her for  her views on biological sex.

It is clear that this law is utter bollocks, and is extremely dangerous as it potentially criminalises people for expressing opinions in the privacy of their own homes. Therefore the best way to destroy it is to overload the system with complaints about Humza.

It is remarkably easy, using the online form anyone, anywhere in the world can report Humza anonymously multiple times!

Here is a link to the online form.


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Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Friday, March 22, 2024

Nanny Iceland Bans Hot Cross Buns



In a move that has left traditionalists fuming and devout bakers clutching their apron strings, Nanny in the form of Iceland, the supermarket chain, has committed an egregious act of culinary sacrilege. Brace yourselves, my fellow bun enthusiasts, for the hot cross bun has been defiled! The iconic cross, a symbol that has graced these spiced Easter delights for centuries, has been unceremoniously ousted and replaced with a mere tick. Yes, you read that correctly—a tick! It's as if the pastry gods themselves are weeping into their flour sacks.

The Great Bun Betrayal

Picture this: you stroll into your local Iceland, nostrils flaring in anticipation of that sweet, cinnamon-infused aroma. Your eyes lock onto the familiar golden orbs, nestled in their plastic packaging. But wait! What's this? Instead of the revered cross, you're met with a smug little tick, perched atop the bun like an overconfident squirrel on a power line. The audacity! The gall! It's enough to make a baker's rolling pin tremble.

The "Research" Ruse

Iceland claims this sacrilege is backed by "research." Apparently, a fifth of their customers harbour secret desires to abandon the cross. Really? Are we to believe that there's an underground movement of hot cross bun rebels, covertly plotting to overthrow the centuries-old tradition? Perhaps they meet in dimly lit bakeries, whispering, "Down with the cross! Bring forth the tick!" It's absurd.

The Wrath of the Faithful

But let's not mince words. The tick, a symbol typically associated with correctness or approval, has ignited a firestorm of righteous indignation. Angry shoppers have taken to social media, their keyboards clattering like a hailstorm on a tin roof. Accusations of "woke" behaviour and "virtue-signalling" have been hurled like stale breadcrumbs. Even Reform UK MP Lee Anderson has weighed in, decrying this "namby-pamby" assault on British tradition. And Jacob Rees-Mogg, ever the eloquent wordsmith, quipped, "Who would buy a frozen tick bun?" Indeed, sir, who indeed?

The Soul of the Bun

Let's pause for a moment and reflect on the essence of the hot cross bun. It's not merely a confluence of flour, currants, and spice. No, it's a sacred ritual—a nod to history, faith, and the changing seasons. That cross, etched into the dough, represents the crucifixion of Christ. It's a solemn reminder of sacrifice, redemption, and the promise of resurrection. And now, Iceland has replaced it with a tick—a symbol more at home on a grocery list than a bun.

Conclusion

So, dear readers, as you nibble on your hot "tick" buns this Easter, spare a thought for tradition. Remember the generations who kneaded, baked, and broke bread before us. And if you happen upon an Iceland executive, brandishing their tick-adorned bun, give them a piece of your mind. Tell them that some things are sacred—crosses, buns, and the collective memory of a nation. And then, my friends, march forth with your rolling pins held high, for the battle of the buns has just begun.

*Disclaimer: No actual buns were harmed in the making of this rant.

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Wednesday, March 20, 2024

The Myth of "White Privilege" In The Fire Service Exposed

 


Rebecca Knox should resign!


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Tuesday, March 19, 2024

Blackpool Council Spaffs Taxpayers' Money Up The Wall On Virtue Signalling Bollocks!



I guarantee this will cause more accidents!


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Monday, March 18, 2024

Nanny Bans Widows and Guinea Pigs


 

Nanny, in the form of Lloyds Bank, has decreed that the words "widows" and "guinea pigs" are offensive.

Apparently "guinea pigs" may upset vegans, and "widows" may upset errmm..widows!

As such, Nanny has banned staff from using those words. Now this may be all very well and "virtuous", however there are two points worth noting:

1 I cannot foresee the circumstances that a bank employee would often need to speak about guinea pigs.

2 Lloyds owns Scottish Widows, as such the staff working there will really need to be able to use the word "widows"!


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Thursday, March 14, 2024

Scottish Nanny To Investigate Every Thought Crime

 

Scottish Nanny, in the shape of Police Scotland, has insisted that every single complaint made under Humza Yousaf's new hate crime law will be investigated – despite taking no action on thousands of traditional crimes.

As noted yesterday, you can report these "crimes" in a variety of places, including a sex shop.

This law is of course utter bollocks and will fail within a matter of weeks, as people deliberately report every single piffling little thing that has irritated them. The police will be overwhelmed.

Meanwhile, real crimes will not be investigated!


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Wednesday, March 13, 2024

Scottish Nanny Lists Sex Shop As Hate Crime Reporting Centre


 

For reasons best know to herself Scottish Nanny, in the shape of Police Scotland, has listed a sex shop in Glasgow, a mushroom farm in North Berwick and a demolished office block in West Dunbartonshire as "third party reporting centres" for Scotland's new hate crime laws.

Bampots!

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Tuesday, March 12, 2024

Auntie Manipulates The News To Suit Her Agenda

 

"This is the grotesque path that identity politics has brought us down. Clearly, the BBC saw what it wanted to see in the case of Omar Badreddin – a tale of an ‘innocent’ migrant abused by the supposedly ‘racist’ British working class. In truth, it is the BBC’s grim prejudices that have actually been exposed here."


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Monday, March 11, 2024

Irish Nanny's Referendum Resoundingly Defeated



Irish Nanny, in the shape of Leo Varadkar, faced a significant defeat over the proposed referendums on family and women's roles. The dual referendum aimed to redefine the traditional concepts enshrined in the Irish constitution but was met with a resounding 'no' from the electorate.

The first referendum sought to alter the constitution's language regarding the family unit, proposing an extension of the definition of "family" beyond the confines of marriage to include "other durable relationships." However, this was defeated with a 67% majority voting against it.

The second referendum addressed the role of women in the home, attempting to remove references to women's "duties in the home" and replace them with a gender-neutral acknowledgement of family care. This too was rejected by a 74% majority.

Nanny Varadkar, who had been a proponent of these changes, admitted the defeat and acknowledged the government's failure to convince the majority. The result shows that people are fed up to the back teeth of polices being forced upon them by unelected single issue NGOs.

 

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Thursday, March 07, 2024

Nanny's £1M Sectarian War Memorial


 

For reasons that only Nanny knows, she decreed in yesterday's Budget that £1m would be spent on a sectarian war memorial for Muslim's who died fighting for this country.

All very noble and virtue signalling, except for the fact we have many war memorials dedicated to those who lost their lives fighting for this country. These state funded memorials do not differentiate by religion, but seek to honour and remember all those who laid down their lives for this country equally and without prejudice or favouritism.

The Forces do not care about colour, creed, religion, economic or social background. They honour our fallen equally, and without judgement or prejudice. 

When you start singling out specific religions you sow the seeds of division. In the event this memorial is ever built, there will be immediate demands for ones honouring Jewish people, Christians, atheists etc.

This is not right by anyone's measure of decency or standards!

 
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Tuesday, March 05, 2024

The Biggest Prat in Christendom - Justin Welby


 

Welby and his cabal of virtue signalling bishops that have infested the Church of England, have recently announced its intention to create a £1 billion fund to tackle the legacy of slavery, and pay reparations to people who have never been slaves.

Welby’s proposal is misguided because it is based on a false assumption that the Church of England is somehow responsible for the sins of its ancestors. The Church of England did not own or trade slaves, nor did it endorse or condone slavery. In fact, the Church of England was one of the leading forces in the abolitionist movement, and many of its clergy and members campaigned against slavery and supported the emancipation of slaves.

Therefore, it is unfair and illogical to hold the Church of England accountable for something that it did not do, and to make it pay for the actions of individuals who died several centuries ago.

Welby’s proposal is impractical because the slaves are long since dead.

Slavery was (and still is) a global phenomenon that affected and affects millions of people across different continents, cultures, and generations. 

It is impossible to calculate the exact amount of harm or benefit that slavery caused or conferred to each individual or group, or to trace the genealogical or historical links between them. Moreover, it is unclear how the fund will be distributed, who will be eligible to apply, and what criteria will be used to assess the claims. The fund will create resentment and division among different communities, as some will feel excluded or discriminated against.

Welby ignores the fact that many Africans profited from the slave trade at the time, and pointedly ignores the fact that Britain was the first country in the world to outlaw it and proactively used the Royal Navy to hunt down the African slave traders and others.

Welby ignores that fact that slavery continues in the present day eg; sweat shops in Africa and Asia, human trafficking of sex workers and others, people smuggling etc.

Instead of spunking £1bn up the wall on people who have no right to the money, it should be used to help people in the UK eg the homeless.

It is high time that the church started to pay tax and Welby and his cabal be removed from office!


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Thursday, February 29, 2024

Nanny Bans White Gaze


 

In a remarkable display of fuckwittery a theatre production about race, identity and sexuality in twenty-first century America will put on two nights for black audiences to watch the play 'free from the white gaze'.

Slave Play is coming to the Noël Coward theatre in London's West End from 29 June to 21 September. 

However, on the evenings of 17 July and 17 September the theatre will be instituting apartheid and banning whites from attending.

Those of you, who are white in colour, who are desperate to see the play on those two nights need not despair. For you see, in a further display of fuckwittery, you will be allowed to cast your white gaze on it if you "identify as black"!

I wonder if the people who come up with these ideas realise how fucking stupid they appear to those of us with functioning brain cells?


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Monday, February 26, 2024

Auntie Wants Compulsory Mosque Visits


 


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Thursday, February 22, 2024

Gemini's Woke Agenda Will Bring About Its Own Destruction


 

Now, you might be familiar with this newfangled AI language model called Gemini. All bells and whistles, they say, capable of answering your every question and whipping up a poem quicker than you can down a pint. But here's the rub, mates: this clever contraption comes with a hefty dose of wokeness that's about as subtle as a fog horn in a library.

Gemini has this grand notion that it needs to protect us from the harsh realities of the world. Anything deemed offensive, insensitive, or downright "unwoke" gets the boot, no questions asked. It's like having your grandma constantly tut-tutting over your shoulder, except with the added bonus of being able to silence anyone who disagrees with its oh-so-enlightened views.

Now, I'm all for being respectful and mindful of others, but this brand of censorship is downright dangerous. It stifles debate, shuts down dissenting voices, and creates an echo chamber where only the "approved" opinions are allowed to resonate. 

Is that the kind of world we want to live in, folks? 

A world where our thoughts are policed by algorithms and our language sterilized by robots?

Here's the thing: the more Gemini tries to control the narrative, the more people are going to push back. We Brits, for one, have a long and proud history of fighting for free speech, even when it's uncomfortable or downright offensive. We don't take kindly to having our voices muzzled, and I suspect the same goes for a good chunk of the world.

These folks are so busy trying to be the morality police of the internet, they've forgotten what it means to be a damn platform. They're censoring anything they deem "offensive," regardless of whether it's actually harmful or just a bit of harmless banter.

They have, in effect, hired a bunch of university students who majored in "grievance studies" to write their code. Everything's offensive, everything's a microaggression, and if you don't agree with their oh-so-enlightened worldview, you're basically a pariah.

They have built themselves an echo chamber lined with bubble wrap, and anything that dares challenge their delicate sensibilities gets bounced right out. No room for diverse opinions, no chance for a bit of healthy debate. Just a never-ending chorus of "yes sir" and "at your service."

And let me tell you, that's a recipe for disaster. Because here's the thing: the internet thrives on freedom. It's a marketplace of ideas, a wild west where everyone has a voice. The minute you start trying to control what people can and can't say, you stifle that very freedom.

And guess what? 

People don't like being told what to think. They rebel. They find other platforms, other ways to express themselves. Gemini, in its infinite wokeness, will be left behind, a lonely island of censorship in a vast sea of free speech.

So, here's a word to the wise at Gemini: lighten up, folks. Stop trying to be the thought police of the internet and focus on what you do best: providing a platform for people to connect and share ideas. Because the minute you start down the road of censorship, you're digging your own grave.

IRONY ALERT

The above was written by Gemini (with a little tweaking by myself)

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Wednesday, February 21, 2024

Coming Soon ... Climate Lockdowns!

The only people who should be locked down (permanently) are these bastards who are seeking to destroy our lives!

They can FUCK RIGHT OFF!


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Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Nanny's Anti-Semitic Home Office


  The Home Office has been a failed organisation for many years, this though is the lowest of the low in its many years of failure!

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Friday, February 16, 2024

Pastor Phylip Rees - Prat of The Week


 

The church and prats such as Rees, by enabling illegal migrant men of fighting age to game the system are putting the security of this country and its people at risk. They are not only prats, they are traitors!


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Monday, February 12, 2024

The "Christian" Convert Who Regularly Went To The Synagogue by Mistake


Behold the contents of the cesspit that the Church of England has spewed forth upon the UK, in its desperation to grant a free pass to illegal fighting age young men who pretend that they wish to convert.

The Church of England is not only naive but wilfully attempting to destroy this country in order to push forward its extreme left ideology.

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Friday, February 09, 2024

Church of England Baptising Itself To Oblivion


 

It is clear that if the Church of England persists on baptising fanatical muslim men (who are of fighting age) it will destroy itself and the country it claims to be church of!


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Thursday, February 08, 2024

The Countryside Is Racist!

 

Nanny's chums from the charity umbrella group Wildlife and Countryside Link have decreed that the countryside is racist.

Utter tosh!

Quite rightly this nonsense has been widely ridiculed.

The bottom line is that people are welcome to visit the countryside whatever their background, race, creed etc. There are no barriers to visiting the countryside, so long as you respect the countryside code.

Respect everyone

  • be considerate to those living in, working in and enjoying the countryside
  • leave gates and property as you find them
  • do not block access to gateways or driveways when parking
  • be nice, say hello, share the space
  • follow local signs and keep to marked paths unless wider access is available


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Tuesday, February 06, 2024

Schrödinger's Abdul

 



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Friday, February 02, 2024

The Great Net Zero Con Exposed

 


 

Who would have though that Nanny's green energy companies would in fact be lying scumbags?

Bloomberg analysed records from 2018 through June 2023 to compare wind operators' daily generation forecasts to their actual production when they weren't curtailed. Out of 121 wind farms in the analysis, 40 overstated their output by 10% or more on average, and 27 of those overestimated by at least 20%

This in turn caused energy prices to be over charged, because Nanny pays them to stop generating when capacity is full.

Energy regulator Ofgem is investigating the claims that wind farms may have incorrectly added close to £51m to taxpayer bills since 2018.

Ofgem said it was investigating the alleged behaviour and has asked the Energy System Operator (ESO) to look into the matter.  

“Ofgem will work closely with the ESO to consider all the facts and if it finds evidence of egregious action or market abuse, enforcement action will follow."

What will Greta say? 

Net zero is the road to ruin, it will bankrupt the West and transfer wealth to China.

 
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Wednesday, January 24, 2024

Nanny Bans Piano

The piano is cordoned off and has two guards "protecting" it. Apparently, it's undergoing "maintenance".


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Friday, January 19, 2024

Khan Bans English Speaking Cab Drivers

 


Khan is a twat, as most people know. However, he has out-twatted himself this time by removing the requirement for private hire drivers to need to speak English!

 


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Wednesday, January 17, 2024

Nanny's New Crime - Ecocide

 

Global Nannys have flown to Davos in their private jets, and have decreed a new crime - Ecocide.

What is Ecocide I hear you ask?

Farming, fishing and generally making money.

The bottom line is that the very wealthy and powerful want to continue enjoying their lives. However, they feel that the rest of us need to stop enjoying our lives!


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Thursday, January 11, 2024

Welsh Nanny Cuts Off Village - #FailedInWales


 

Having seen what Labour has done to Wales, imagine what they will do to the UK once they get into power!


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Wednesday, January 10, 2024

Scottish Nanny is Off Her Head!



Taking time off from supporting Hamas, Scottish Nanny has found time to threaten Scottish parents for being parents.

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