Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

A Nation of Pussies

A Nation of Pussies
I guess I am just too old, reactionary, atheistic and out of touch to understand quite why this guy has the cheek to take Tesco to a tribunal (and why a tribunal has been called) on the dubious basis of racial discrimination for making him carry crates of booze.

Aside from the most obvious points that:

1 Supermarkets sell booze

2 As a guest in this country it his his duty to respect our customs and laws, not the other way around

There is one question that he really should be asking himself. Given that it is against his interpretation of his religion that it is unacceptable to handle booze in any shape or form, I assume that it is also his interpretation of his religion that he cannot handle drugs in any shape or form?

That being the case, how can he bring himself to handle our currency?

The average British note contains a fair smidgen of cocaine, enough to party with various MPs and Angus Deayton; by handling British notes he is handling drugs.

Just a thought!

As I said I am just too old, reactionary and out of touch to even understand the logic of this absurd case.

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Foreign ID Cards

Foreign ID Cards
I see that Jacqui Smith, Nanny's home economics teacher (now Home Secretary), is feeling very pleased with herself about the launch of the ID cards for foreigners.

If I may insert a small factoid here, one of Hitler's first acts as chancellor was to impose compulsory ID cards on every German citizen.

The cards will be compulsory for foreign nationals, who will need one to enter the UK, to work and to claim benefits.

Fine, except that the foreign terrorists, who Nanny claims that these cards will deter, will of course not be entering the UK legally. Additionally, as the London bombings showed, the acts of terrorism will as likely be carried out by British citizens.

Jacqui also believes that UK citizens will volunteer to pay £30 to have one as well.

Errmmm...is she on drugs?

The scheme is bollocks from start to finish!

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Friday, September 26, 2008

Nanny Unbans Brian

Nanny Unbans Brian
Congratulations to Nanny's chums on Torbay Council who have just entered the modern world. Thirty years ago they banned "The Life of Brain" from being shown in local cinemas.

The fact that people could simply travel to a nearby town to see it, at the time, didn't make the councillors think that they or their ban looked ridiculous (councillors are so thick skinned aren't they?). However, 30 years on, they have finally lifted the ban.

May I take this opportunity to extend a very warm welcome from the 21st century to the councillors of Torbay!

The banning of something inevitably gives it a huge amount of publicity, and creates an increase in demand for the product or event.

When will Nanny learn that basic rule?

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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Bin Brother - Wheelie Bin Spies

Bin Brother - Wheelie Bin Spies
Nanny's chums in Blackburn with Darwen Council have caused something of a furore with the local residents, after wheelie bins began to go missing from outside taxpayers' homes.

The thieves were none other than two council officers assigned to spy on residents, and find out which of them were using extra "unauthorised" wheelie bins to dispose of their rubbish.

Bins identified as "unauthorised" were stolen by the council.

Errmm...isn't stealing...ermmm...illegal?

The spies also used ladders to peer over garden walls on to lawns and back yards while the occupants were out.

Errmm...isn't that kind of a shitty thing to do?

Local councils really have lost the plot when it comes to knowing their limits. It is time local government was swept away and replaced with a system of administration (not a system of control or enforcement) that the local residents actually want and are prepared to pay for.

Needless to say, the twats in the local council were forced to apologise to householders for their outrageous disregard for the law.

By the way can you guess who runs the council?

Yes, that's right, it's not Nu Labour but a Tory/Liberal council!

You know the procedure by now folks, drop Cameron a note about this as well via this link: Cameron

It seems that the Tory party is really determined to lose the next election.

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Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Nanny Bans Goggles - A Grimm Tale

Nanny Bans Goggles - A Grimm TaleNanny's swimming police have been on patrol again. This time they have decided that Roland Grimm, a man who has swum (or is it swam?) in more swimming pools than I've had gin and tonics (and that's saying something!), is inappropriately dressed.

His crime?

Goggles to you!

He has a special set of goggles that stops water going up his nose, with a single eye piece which does not press against his face.

The Health and Safety Gestapo at his leisure centre in Swiss Cottage (where he has swum/swam for 30 years) have banned his goggles.

Centre manager Gary Dark said:

"Non-shatterproof panels in enclosed environments can cause facial injury on impact with pool surfaces or other bathers and may pose a further hazard in relation to broken glass remaining on the pool floor.

Full face masks that cover the nose can also cause breathing difficulties if water is swallowed and may restrict vision which can cause an accident
."

One small point, it seems that the goggles are not glass but plastic. Isn't this ban a wee bit excessive?

I know that there are a number of regulars here who are keen swimmers, what's your take on this?

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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Nanny Perverts Policing

Nanny Perverts PolicingIt's good to see that some police chiefs still get the point that victims of crime expect to see a policeman (at least after the event). People's perceptions of crime and their feelings of safety are to a large extent moulded by the media, government and the police.

The media, especially local papers, delight in telling us about every single stabbing, assault etc thus convincing many that we are in a state of social decay; they ignore the fact that throughout history there have been gangs, muggers and assaults.

The government lies via statistics, and uses targets to impose its political will on the police.

Many police forces, being run by political appointees, slavishly follow government targets at the expense of what people really want. Namely assurance that there are police that are readily available and visible (the visibility gives people a sense of comfort and security).

Therefore the actions and methods of Roger Baker, Chief Constable of Essex Police Force, are commendable. He has ordered officers to visit every single victim, since he took over 3 years ago there have been 13,000 less victims of crime. He increased front line policing, made officers more visible and treated low-level crime such as vandalism more seriously. Residents have been delighted with the back to basics approach

However, there is one dissenter.

Can you guess who that is?

Yes, that's right, Nanny!

A report by Her Majesty's Inspectorate of Constabulary said:

"While attending every crime is a highly effective method of engagement, it is felt by a number of staff interviewed that taking a statement at each crime is not always necessary and can be time-consuming."

A few observations about the above:

1 People pay to see the police on the streets and dealing with crime.

2 The paperwork that is time consuming is a direct result of Nanny's rules and regulations, cut the paperwork and get more bobbies on the beat.

3 Quote "attending every crime is a highly effective method of engagement" unquote!

Mr Baker effectively said the report was bollocks:

"We will continue with our policing style, which includes attending all crime, increasing police visibility, opening more police stations, tackling crime robustly and bringing offenders to justice.

The public are our biggest partner and we will continue to listen to them and work with them to provide the service they ask for.

There are always ways in which we can improve and this is something we will continually strive to do
."

Nanny's target driven rules and regulations have perverted the police force in Britain, and destroyed the trust that once existed between the public and police.

The threat to the rule of law, and the threat to the respect for the law, comes from Nanny not the criminals.

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Monday, September 22, 2008

Running Scared

Just in from Tory HQ, barely one hours since today's article was published and I dropped Cameron an email.

"Dear Mr Frost

Thank you for your email to the Conservative Party.

It is important to note that planning permission is granted on a quasi-legal basis according to regulations laid out by the Government. Councils are required to make any rulings according to these regulations.

The Conservatives have pledged to rethink this policy and for local opinion to be taken into account, to ensure that Councils actions first and foremost represent the needs of the local community.

Thank you for taking the time to write to the Party on this matter.

Yours sincerely

Elliot Grainger Elliot Grainger
Party Chairman's Office
CCHQ
"

They used to take two weeks or so to answer!

By the way, if anyone can understand what their response actually means please could they enlighten me?

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Prats of The Week

Prats of The WeekTis a Monday, and tis time for my world famous "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week it goes to yet another one of Nanny's local councils. My goodness, it makes me shudder thinking about how useless Britain's local councils really are.

No wonder council tax is out of control!

Anyhoo, the winners this week are West Wiltshire District Council who are having a little trouble over approving a pub sign.

Is the sign rude or offensive?

No, it is a simple and unoffensive name "The Black Dog, Chilmark, Bar and Restaurant".

The landlords, Trisha and Thomas Russell, took over the tenancy of the pub a few weeks ago and the sign itself has stood at the same site for around 20 years.

Yet they have been told to remove it.

For why?

The council, in their "infinite wisdom", have decreed that the sign needs planning permission and that the sign is distracting to motorists.

The Highways Agency, having received the application, objected to it.

Quote:

"The sign contains several lines of text and is therefore distracting to motorists.

It is also advertising the use of a public house to motorists, potentially providing the temptation to drink and drive while using a long distance trunk route.

No alcohol is allowed to be served or consumed in service stations on motorways as a matter of principle.

We would wish to continue this principle by not encouraging drivers to break their journey in a public house
."

Errm...pubs have erected signs for centuries to advertise their location.

Nanny has done her best over the past few years to destroy the pub trade (eg via her no smoking rules, and entertainment rules that she applies), now she wants to add one more nail to the coffin by banning advertising in any shape or form by using the Highway Agency as her cudgel.

The agency ignores the fact that a hungry and tired motorist is almost as dangerous as a pissed motorist. The pub provides non alcoholic drinks, food, toilets and a much needed respite from the monotony of driving.

Surely it is logical to advertise such services to hungry and tired motorist?

Nanny would say not!

A spokeswoman for West Wiltshire District Council tried to weasel out of it, by claiming that the planning application was still under review and that a decision had not yet been made.

West Wiltshire District Council, well deserving Prats of The Week.

Let them know that they have won via this link Prats

By the way, in case you are wondering, this council is another one of Cameron's.

I suggest you drop him a note about this too, he might one day get the message that people are fed up with councils and that the Tory Party will not win the next election if he doesn't sort out the Nanny state and its local councils.

Get that message across to Cameron via this link: Cameron

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Nanny's Park Rangers III - The Sweet Smell of Bullshit

The Sweet Smell of Bullshit
Dixon of Dock Green posted the following comment yesterday, re Nanny's Park Rangers:

"I got the same reply from DC but received the following reply from Telford Council:

'Thank you for registering your concerns about the Town Park and the recent publicity about our child protection policy.

I would like to reassure you that there is absolutely no suggestion whatsoever that people who visit our park, with or without children, are routinely approached by our staff for no apparent reason.

Unfortunately a letter sent last month to a resident incorrectly stated the situation and has mistakenly led people to conclude that the Council stops adults in Telford Town Park. This is most certainly not the case.

The Town Park is an extremely popular destination for residents and visitors and we attract over 1 million visitors each year. We work hard to create a safe and enjoyable experience and as always everyone is most welcome.

We deeply regret any confusion that may have been caused, in particular to the many people who use and enjoy Telford Town Park.

Ron Odunaiya
Corporate Director
Community Services
' "

Hands up all those of you who believe that the letter "incorrectly stated the situation and has mistakenly led people to conclude that the Council stops adults in Telford Town Park".?

How can they have written a letter that contained such misleading information?

The reality is that they have made themselves look such fools over this issue that they have had to backtrack. Instead of being honest, and admitting that they got it wrong, they are pretending it was all just a misunderstanding.

Ah the sweet smell of bullshit!

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Friday, September 19, 2008

Nanny's Park Rangers II

Nanny's Park Rangers II
Further to my article about Nanny's Park Rangers who are tasked with questioning unaccompanied adults who walk around Telford Town Park, lest they be child molesters, I dropped an email to David Cameron the very same day.

Here is an extract of the reply that I received yesterday (the speed of response was interesting, as they normally take a week or so to write back. I suspect I hit a nerve!):

"I am writing on behalf of David Cameron to thank you for your recent email.

We are grateful to you for taking the time to get in touch and for bringing your concerns to our attention. Your comments have been noted. As I am sure you can appreciate, even in his position as Leader of the Opposition, David has no influence in local matters taken outside of his constituency and by locally elected councillors. I have however, passed you email on to the Party Chairman, so that she is aware of your views
."

All very well, but if Cameron has no influence over "local matters" what is the point of electing a Tory government?

It is at local level that Nanny's malign influence is most keenly felt, because she has empowered (both by statute, and by "blind eye") local councils with powers and responsibilities that they have never had before nor should they have.

Local councils are being used by Nanny to exert control.

The Tory party needs to come up with a coherent plan to curtail the power of both central and local government, otherwise it will be pointless voting for them.

Get that message across to Cameron via this link: Cameron

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Another Cash Cow

Another Cash Cow
Nanny has found another way to raise revenues to fund her bloated regime. This is a particularly fine wheeze, whereby motorists who are stuck in traffic jams may face a £20 fine if they leave their engines on in the jam.

Nanny will introduce a pilot scheme run, by West Sussex County Council, from January 2009 in Shoreham-by-Sea.

The task of dishing up fines will be allotted to local traffic wardens (aren't these people now called civil enforcement officers?), who will be tasked with looking for motorists idling 'too long' in traffic.

The official rationale for the scheme is to reduce air pollution (I always thought that it was energy inefficient to keep turning your engine on and off?).

The cynic within me thinks that this is just another tax raising idea from our bankrupt state.

Money in the bank!

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

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Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Nanny's Park Rangers

Parkie
Nanny's child centric policy has taken another step forward.

She has decreed that all unaccompanied adults walking in Telford Town Park are potential paedophiles. As such, park wardens have been ordered to stop and interrogate anyone who is not accompanied by children.

For fark's sake!

Evidently visitors who are quizzed have to explain their presence and risk being thrown out, or reported to police if their answers are not satisfactory.

"I want to go for a walk"

How the hell can they judge as to whether that answer is "satisfactory" or not???

Nanny's local council (Telford and Wrekin Council) claims that this is a "commonsense approach", aimed at safeguarding children.

It is nothing of the kind, and clearly oversteps the boundaries as to what a council is meant to do.

I guarantee that the local residents have issues wrt refuse collection, and basic amenities being poorly maintained; yet the council meanders off into areas of policy that are outwith its remit.

The local "parkies" have taken to their new Gestapo role with great relish. Evidently two environmental campaigners, dressed as penguins (don't ask!), were thrown out of the park last month when caught handing out leaflets on climate change.

Telford and Wrekin Council said Rachel Whittaker and Neil Donaldson were ejected because they had not undergone Criminal Records Bureau checks or risk assessments before entering the park.

Seemingly this is a requirement under the Child Protection Act.

Errmm...am I drunk?

Have I just read that correctly?

Are they saying that in order to enter a park we now need a risk assessment and criminal records check?

By the way, in case you think that this is another example of Nu labour madness...it is not.

Telford and Wrekin Council is run by the Tories!

David Ottley, recreation manager, said:

"Our town park staff approach adults that are not associated with any children in the park and request the reason for them being there.

In particular, this applies to those areas where children or more vulnerable groups gather
."

By this "logic" all adults accompanied by a child are not paedophiles and are perfectly harmless.

Vent your spleen to the council via this link contact@telford.gov.uk

Tell Cameron what you think of the idiots in his local council via this link: Prats!

Don't vote Tory unless they put forward detailed plans for ridding us of the Nanny state.

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Serial Power Cuts

The Telegraph reports:

"Britain faces serial power cuts in next decade, warns expert..."

How farking ironic!

Errrmmm...I refer you to yesterday's article...courtesy of EDF, I am already experiencing serial power cuts!

The future starts now!

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Power - Another Failure!

My thanks to EDF for plunging Frost Towers back into darkness again today, with yet another power cut.

Their last power outage was on August 9th.

As I said then:

"How the fark am I meant to keep my beer, tonic and other mixers chilled or indeed maintain a stock of firm ice cubes for my tinctures?"

My laboratory experiments have also been seriously affected by this outage.

Who do I sue?

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Monday, September 15, 2008

Guilty Until Proven Innocent - Nanny Breaks The Law

Guilty Until Proven InnocentIn the good old days of English law one could always count on the fundamental premise that one was innocent, until proven guilty.

That was of course the good old days, before Nanny and her child centric policy (that has done much to breed a nation of self centred, spoilt, immature, illiterates) came along, and decreed that the risk of children being attacked was so great that the basic rule of law must be overturned.

Nanny's local authorities, who once were only meant to keep the streets clean and provide basic local services, have now taken it upon themselves to act as Nanny's storm troopers. They are setting up databases to hold records of accusations made about anyone from teachers and doctors to Scout leaders, priests and private tutors.

The accusations can be made anonymously, in the best traditions of a dictatorship, and will be looked into be specially employed staff (not the police). The staff will also inform the police police, social services or the adult's employer and keep a track of the case.

The specially recruited staff are called Local Authority Designated Officers (LADO's), whose job it is to record and monitor allegations of abuse.

The details of the allegation will be kept on the accused's personnel file until they retire, so that they can be seen by potential employers.

The only way that the adult can redeem himself/herself is to PROVE that they are innocent.

This of course is contrary to the fundamental principle of English law.

A culture of anonymous tip offs will foster an environment whereby the system will be used by people to settle old scores, and to conduct personal vendettas. It will become the modern day version of witch burning.

Professor Frank Furedi, a sociologist at the University of Kent, said:

"Those who are accused may become the lifetime victims of these allegations.

It then creates an incentive to make those sorts of accusations by people who know it can affect someone's career.

This will play into the hands of those who believe there is no smoke without fire
."

Nanny doesn't care, a spokesman for the Department for Children, Schools and Families said:

"It is quite right that records of all allegations are kept on file for an appropriate time.

This saves the need for unnecessary reinvestigations, and provides concrete evidence relating to an allegation rather than rumour or hearsay.

If similar allegations arise in the future it might be possible to make the case that a pattern of behaviour is emerging, and that action might then be taken
."

Who defines an "appropriate time"?

This is wrong, and will be used by those with less than honourable intentions to further their own agendas and careers.

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Friday, September 12, 2008

A Licence To Spy - Local Councils

A Licence To Spy - Local CouncilsThe Sunday Telegraph reported that 75% of Nanny's local authorities have used the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (RIPA) 2000 over the past year.

The Act gives councils the right to place residents and businesses under surveillance, trace telephone and email accounts and even send staff on undercover missions.

Nanny's councils are using the Act to tackle dog fouling, the unauthorised sale of pizzas and the abuse of the blue badge scheme for disabled drivers.

Durham county council is the biggest user, with just over 100 surveillance operations launched during the period. Newcastle city council used the powers 82 times, and Middlesbrough council 70 times.

Whilst dog fouling, bin crimes, benefit abuse, noise etc are issues that need to be addressed; is the use of RIPA (intended to fight serious crime and terrorism) really the most appropriate response to these issues?

Visit The Orifice of Government Commerce and buy a collector's item.

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Show your contempt for Nanny by buying a T shirt or thong from Nanny's Store.

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Celebrate the joy of living with champagne. Click and drink!

Why not really indulge yourself, by doing all the things that Nanny really hates? Click on the relevant link to indulge yourselves; Food, Bonking, Toys, Gifts and Flowers, Groceries

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Bin Brother - A Rubbish Service

Bin Brother - A Rubbish Service
Those of you who faithfully follow your local council's diktats wrt sorting your rubbish into various categories, or those of you who have been fined for throwing a crisp packet in with the paper may have enjoyed Monday night's Tonight programme on ITV.

Tonight revealed that we are being conned by our councils when they tell us that our rubbish is recycled.

The Tonight investigation revealed that waste, originally collected for recycling by four British local authorities, is being dumped on Indian farmland near the migration path of wild elephants.

Tonight reporter Mark Jordan travelled to the state of Tamil Nadu and found waste including British newspapers DATED FROM THIS JANUARY, food packaging from Tesco, plastic bags from Mothercare and even a St George's flag.

After digging down four feet with a JCB at one well site, Tonight discovered a hidden mountain of British waste including Walkers crisps bags, Sainsbury's apple juice, children's report cards and newspapers such as The Telegraph. It is estimated that the well could be up to 30 feet deep.

Tonight tracked down supposedly recycled mail found at one Indian dump addressed to residents living in Tendring, Wellingborough and Wakefield District Councils and Leicestershire County Council.

All four authorities collect recyclables intermingled in either one or two bins then send them to a sorting facility which will sell them on to be recycled in factories or mills.

A Tonight survey also showed that 46 local authorities HAVE NO IDEA what happens to their household collections of recyclable waste, after it is sent to their contracted sorting facilities.

Am I alone in feeling a tad "miffed" to discover that my council tax increases (part of which are allegedly being used for environmental purposes) and the draconian punishments handed down to "bin criminals" are in fact an elaborate cover for local authorities merely to raise more revenue and con us into thinking that we are doing something good for the environment, whilst they take a little extra slice from dodgy deals with dodgy recycling companies?

Who trusts our local councils now?

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Nanny Bans Women

Nanny Bans WomenThere is one person worse than Nanny; someone more annoying, more rabid and more keen to stamp down on our freedom.

Whom do I speak of? (or is it "who"?)

I bet you can guess, can't you?

Yes, that's right, Euro Nanny; in the shape and form of our unknown, lazy, corrupt and invisible MEPs, who defraud us of millions via exaggerated/fraudulent expense claims, excess salaries etc.

MEPs want TV regulators in the EU to set guidelines which would see the end of anything deemed to portray women as sex objects, or reinforce gender stereotypes.

In other words attractive women will be banned from advertising anything, eg perfume, bras, steel plate.

Let us be clear, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and very much down to social/cultural norms; so who exactly will determine if a woman is attractive of not?

The new rules have been outlined in a report by the EU's women's rights committee.

Swedish MEP Eva-Britt Svensson(a land I have lived in for 5 years) wants Britain and other members to use existing equality, sexism and discrimination laws to control advertising.

Ms Svensson wants regulatory bodies set up to monitor adverts, and introduce a "zero-tolerance" policy against "sexist insults or degrading images".

Ms Svensson said:

"Gender stereotyping in advertising straitjackets women, men, girls and boys by restricting individuals to predetermined and artificial roles that are often degrading, humiliating and dumbed down for both sexes.

Gender stereotyping in advertising is one of several factors that have a big influence in efforts to make society more gender equal.

When women and men are portrayed in a stereotypical way the consequence may be that it becomes difficult in other contexts to see women and men's resources and abilities
."

Who will set the standards then?

Our own Advertising Standards Authority recognises that the proposals are bollocks:

"Although the ASA supports the overall objectives of the report... the approach suggested is inflexible and impractical."

All well and good.

However, as we know, British Nanny keeps enshrining more and more EU legislation in our own legal framework. These rules will come in via the back door, as our MP's sleep.

Whilst I feel that the EU as a trading pact represents an opportunity for the UK, I believe that all other aspects of this experiment in European unification represents a serious threat to the liberty and freedom of the people of the EU (including us on the tiny offshore unsinkable aircraft carrier, known as Britain).

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Monday, September 08, 2008

Prats of The Week - Nanny Bans White Hard Hats

Prats of The Week - Nanny Bans White Hard HatsTis a grey and chilly Monday morning, still some hours to go before the first tincture of the day. Thus it is time to award my prestigious and internationally renowned "Prats of The Week" Award.

This week the judging panel were unanimous in their decision and can state, unequivocally and without any hesitation, that the award should go to Network Rail.

For why? I hear you ejaculate.

Aside from the obvious reason that our rail network is a shambles; Network Rail have ordered workers from Miller Construction, currently engaged on the Union Square mall (Aberdeen), to down tools.

The workers were, by all accounts, wearing the wrong colour of hard hats. They were wearing white, when in fact they should be blue.

Part of the construction is nearby a rail line from Aberdeen station, and Network Rail insist that white hats should be worn by people working near rail lines who have track safety certificates. Workers without the certificate should wear blue ones.

All very well, but at the end of the day a hard hat is a hard hat. Its purpose is to protect the wearer's bonce from injury; whether it is blue or white is irrelevant.

Even Nanny's Health and Safety Executive confirmed that there was no legislation relating to the colour of safety helmets.

A spokesman said:

"We don't care if they are blue, white or even pink as long as they meet safety requirements and people don't get brained when something falls on them."

One worker put it more bluntly:

"It is a load of bloody nonsense over nothing and it has been holding up our work."

Network Rail well deserving Prats of The Week.

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Saturday, September 06, 2008

Nanny's Little Helpers - Catch Them Young

Nanny's Little Helpers
Ah die gut alt tags have returned with a vengeance.

Nanny has taken a little lesson from the history books, and is employing a rather nasty little technique once used by the Nazis.

Nanny's Gauliters in her local councils are employing children to act as spies.

Catch them young and they will yours forever!

The Telegraph reports that one in six councils contacted have signed up children to be "environment volunteers".

Sounds nice and cuddly and greeny doesn't it?

Errmmm...maybe not.

For you see dear readers Nanny's little helpers are being encouraged to photograph and video people who infringe local council rules; eg dog fouling, littering and Nanny's most heinous of all crimes...

BIN CRIMES!!!!

As an added bonus the kids are being paid £500 a pop by some councils.

Seems to me a clever kid and parent could come up with a nice little money making scheme, whereby the kid's reward exceeds the council's fine.

Nanny refers to these new recruits as "covert human intelligence sources", they will pass on the names and number plates of neighbours who are guilty of breaking Nanny's laws.

A recipe for all sorts of petty neighbourhood vendettas to be started and settled!

I wonder what kind of adults these kids will turn into?

Ealing Council said:

"There are hundreds of Junior Streetwatchers, aged 8-10 years old, who are trained to identify and report enviro-crime issues such as graffiti and fly-tipping."

Some kids are assigned code numbers, which they use instead of their real names when they ring a special informer's hotline.

Completely ghastly and very frightening!

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Friday, September 05, 2008

Prats of The Week - Croydon Council Parking Enforcement Gauliters

Prats of The WeekThose of you who were aghast that I should have the temerity to express an opinion about the US elections yesterday will be pleased to hear that today, today anyway, I will confine myself to matters closer to home.

In fact so close to home that I find I live in the very borough to which I intend to award my prestigious "Prats of The Week" award.

Can you guess which borough that is?

Yes, that's right, Croydon!

It would appear that my beloved council is so desperate to raise revenues, that they have instructed their civil enforcement officers (Gestapo agents in old speak) to ticket anyhting with a pulse.

Such was the fate that befell three men working on an emergency gas leak on Beulah Hill, who were gobsmacked to be issued with a £100 parking fine.

They were working on the urgent gas leak at the junction of Beulah Hill and Biggin Hill at 9.30am. Their prominently marked van was parked just behind them on Biggin Hill on double yellow lines.

A parking warden walking up Biggin Hill issued them with a fine at 12.00pm.

Gavin Anderson, from SGN, said:

"We saw the warden just as he was putting the ticket on the windscreen. I told him we were working an emergency. He said he understood but that he had already issued the ticket.

He should have come to find us, it was pretty obvious we were working just behind the van and we are working on an emergency here.

I parked the van in this spot to make sure I was well out of the way of any traffic, this is a really busy road
."

A council spokesman chose to avoid discussing the matter:

"Without the relevant details – the penalty charge notice number or the registration number of the vehicle, we're unable to comment on this specific case.

As a general rule, however, the council's civil enforcement officers are instructed to exercise discretion, particularly in instances where utility companies are carrying out emergency repair works
."

Looks like the instructions to the civil enforcement officers are not that clear!

Could it be that parking fines are being used to supplement council tax revenue, to shore up a bankrupt council?

Surely not?

Croydon Council, well deserving Prats of The Week!

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Thursday, September 04, 2008

Hail To The Chief!

Sarah Palin
A rare venture into American politics today ladies and gentlemen, please forgive me for straying.

However, I have been more than a little amused at how the Republican Christian right has committed such a volte farce wrt its "high moral principles" re out of wedlock sex and working mothers, as they gush forth such vocal support for Sarah Palin.

Such unquestioning support for this relatively unknown candidate is truly heartwarming, given the fact that Senator Oven Chip only met her once and hasn't done much of a background check on her.

In fact there are stories circulating about Mrs Palin's somewhat Nannyish tendencies, eg ordering her local library to censor books and then firing the librarian who refused to carry out her orders (see The Nelson Report published by Samuels International Associates).

I always thought that the Republican right was anti Nanny.

I guess that means they are anti Nanny when Nanny interferes with what they want to do?

I assume that censorship is OK if it promotes creationism, God and stifles freedom of religious thought?

Anyhoo, my question to the Christian right is this, would you still be so supportive of Mrs Palin (working mother and soon to be grandmother of a child conceived out of wedlock) if she had been picked by Senator Obama as his running mate?

Just a thought!



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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Grumpy

Some sad news about one of our regular commentators, Grumpy as posted by Black Sea:

Many of you may be familiar with the commenter, "Grumpy" who frequently vented spleen on this site. Well, he died about a week and a half ago, and is today being buried in his hometown of Lancashire (I hope I spelled that correctly.)

Despite, or perhaps because of, his patriotism to the UK, he had lived in happy exile in Turkey for the past twelve years.

Anyway, this is a community of sorts (a grouchy one) and I thought that I should pass this information on. By the way, he despised Nanny in all her forms.


Grumpy at least now will never be bothered by Nanny again.

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Nanny Bans Man

Nanny Bans Man
Congratulations to the knobheads in Chichester District Council for once again proving that councils are infested with people who are totally out of touch from reality, and cannot be trusted to sit the right way on a lavatory let alone spend their citizens' council tax.

It seems that the most pressing issue facing Chichester is not the economy, crime, the environment or indeed balancing the books but the phrase "man in the street".

For why?

The good people who sit upon their fat arses in the council have decreed that the term is "inherently sexist, not a fair reflection of reality, and makes the views or work of women invisible".

They have therefore banned it.

Do they seriously think that this absurd waste of time, and money, is a major step forward for womankind?

Members and staff of Chichester District Council have been told to use "a positive alternative" such as "the general public".

They have also been told to stop using phrases such as "manning the switchboard", and the words Mrs, Miss, girl and lady.

So what do you call a person of the female gender who is a lady or a girl then?

I was taught to use the term "lady" out of respect and politeness.

To enforce the new Orwellian style orthodoxy, Chichester District Council have used taxpayers' money to publish a language guide which has been sent to parish councils in the area.

Twats!

The list of banned phrases also includes:

-'old woman'
-'old fool'
-'old codger'

I suggest that you drop the council an email that includes as many of the banned words as possible.

Vent your spleens via this link helpline@chichester.gov.uk

Local councils really are the most appalling manifestation of Nanny, and need to be eradicated asap.

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Bollocks - Home Orifice Leak

Bollocks - Home Orifice LeakNanny's special chum, Jacqui Smith (Home Orifice Home Economics teacher), has played the old politicians' trick of "leaking" a memo; the memo forewarns of strife and chaos, as the recession bites ever deeper.

In summary the Home Orifice believes that crime will rise, and the "disenfranchised" would be tempted to join terrorist organisations.

Why would the Home Orifice leak such a memo?

How can such a dire vision of the future be helpful to "Smiler" Brown and his "administration" (the word "administration" usually implies some form of competence, not in this government's case)?

The answer is simple:

FEAR!

Governments know that if the population is fearful of an enemy (be it another country, organisation or "the enemy within"), then the population will be more compliant and malleable.

Additionally, it will give Nanny the opportunity to impose more surveillance and more restrictive laws/rules upon the population.

As to the assertion that the recession will drive more people to terrorism, that is palpable bollocks.

This did not happen in the slump of the 1930's or the recessions of the 1970's, 80's and early 90's.

Why should it happen now?

Nanny is talking out of her backside!

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Monday, September 01, 2008

Wasting Our Money - Dr Allison Fraser

Wasting Our Money
Those of you who are wondering if our beloved local councils provide us with value for money, may care to consider what Dr Allison Fraser (CEO of Sandwell council) is doing with their council taxpayers' money.

Dr Fraser has decided that it is necessary to spend £5K to go on a self-awareness training course in Germany and Florida, to teach herself to 'like herself'.

The courses in the Avatar Professional Course will teach her how to become 'more likeable'.

Errmmm...here is a simple suggestion Dr Fraser, to make yourself more likeable, don't waste £5K of taxpayers' money on self indulgent crap!

As Chief Executive, Dr Fraser earns around £140K per annum; so she could afford to pay for this herself, given that "likeability" is not relevant for the role of CEO.

The course is run by the Church of Scientology, a clear sign of "quality", and aims to teach people how to become "more real, authentic", "protect themselves against the abrasions of the world" and "gain a connection with the undefined self".

Sandwell Council leader Bill Thomas is fully in favour of it:

"It is certainly very important that she has access to these training courses. This is considered to be one of the best course around.

The course was approved by the Labour group and the other main political parties
."

Ah, how foolish of me, if Labour have approved it then it must be OK then!

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