Nanny Bans Beer Goggles

Nanny is really worried about the media's obsession with beauty and good looks.

She agonises that ordinary looking mortals, such as you and I, are not given a fair "crack" in this media obsessed age.

Therefore Nanny has decided to intervene in that most image obsessed industry, the drinks industry.

She has ordered drinks companies to stop using attractive people to advertise their products; instead they must now hire paunchy, balding men for advertisements.

Nanny's sleepy old watchdogs at the Committee of Advertising Practice (CAP) have issued a list of undesirable male characteristics that advertisers must abide by, in order to comply with tougher rules designed to separate alcohol from sexual success.

Lambrini is the first drinks company to come under attack from Nanny. Watchdogs rejected its latest campaign, because it depicted women flirting with a man who was deemed too attractive.

The poster featured three women "hooking" a slim, young man in a parody of a fairground game scene. Harmless fun to lead its summer campaign, Lambrini argued.

CAP said:

"We would advise that the man in the picture should be unattractive, overweight, middle-aged, balding etc...

We consider that the advert is in danger of implying that the drink may bring sexual/social success, because the man in question looks quite attractive and desirable to the girls. If the man was clearly unattractive, we think that this implication would be removed."

What a bunch of prats!

As anyone with half a brain knows, around 75% of sexual liaisons in the UK would not occur but for the effects of drink. People viewed through beer goggles are infinitely more attractive than when viewed in the cold light of day.

Drink is the glue that brings people together, and ensures that they stay together.

Let's raise a glass or three this evening to the benefits of beer goggles, I know I will!