Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Nanny Bans Dirty Weekends

Nanny Bans Dirty WeekendsNanny has a bit of a hang up about sex, and really doesn't think that people should be doing it that often.

Therefore she has outlined plans to abolish the dirty weekend. Nanny will ban the use of aliases when checking in to hotels, this will mean the demise of Mr and Mrs Smith the ever so regular couple who stay in thousands of seaside hotels across Britain each weekend.

Nanny says that the abolition of aliases will help prevent rooms being used for the performing of sex acts for money.

Yeah right, that will work!

Nanny is also asking hotels to redesign interiors that cater for lewd and illicit acts. Changes include de-postering four-poster beds, the removal of "weekend kits" and ceiling mirrors.



  1. Anonymous11:07 AM

    I think you're 6 days too late for this one. The story ran here followed by "For more information, please visit the web's essential boutique hotels directory at"

  2. Yes, I think this is just a press release intended to drum up traffic to the mrandmrs website

  3. Mr & Mrs J. Smith3:17 PM

    We wish to protest as we are planning a weekend in the Bay View Hotel. What are we to say to the receptionist? ... Ah, now I get it.

    ME: We'd like to check in.

    RECEPTIONIST: Your identity cards, if you please!

    ME & MRS S.: Jawohl, mein Herr! Heil Blair!

    BTW what a pity that nice and eminently reasonable Rt Hon John Smith, MP and Bar, was so careless as to peg out, making way for the TB-GBs. Can't imagine this legislation getting past his beady little eyes.

  4. Hank Y Panky4:23 PM

    Hmmm...Does anyone remember the song
    Called Sexcrime(1984)?

    Annie Lennox used to sing it

  5. Uncle Bob10:54 PM

    Er ... Ken, you've been had. Notice the date.

    Blair to outlaw dirty weekends

    Controversial new government legislation is set to kill off one the longest standing British traditions and is causing outcry from hoteliers across the UK. Moves to ban the use of aliases when checking in to hotels will see the demise of the 'dirty weekend' as it is popularly known and is forcing the hotel industry to adapt swiftly to counter the effect of the proposed changes.

    April 1, 2006 -- The impact of the government’s new vice bill, intended to clamp down on prostitution, has caused far-reaching effects for anyone using hotels, motels and B&Bs. From next April, guests will no longer be legally allowed to use an alias when signing into a hotel. The government claims that this ...

  6. Well, it could be an April 1 jape, but the in the true spirit of this Government 'hiding' bad news a la Jo Moore (and all Browns budgets come to think of it) there may be more scope for such a concept than people might imagine.

    Both the ID card concept and the anti terror laws could be invoked as reasons for requiring proof of identity when booking in to hotels and boarding houses.

    But in any case, if that would not put off the most passionate Smiths, there is always the national video ID database compiled from the millions of CCTV and road monitoring cameras that to increase the risk of being identified in the wrong place at the wrong time.

    It's odd really. Nanny can be in the wrong place (Italy) with the wrong people (Berlusconi) and enjoys the publicity but others in the same sort of identification situation, though having no consequence outside their personal lives, could find themselves in deep ordure.

    Oh well, Teflon does not last forever.