Thursday, April 06, 2006
Nanny Bans Yews
When you walk down the street, have you ever wondered about the threats to your general health and safety that lurk in the seemingly innocent shrubbery that surrounds you?
Fortunately Nanny is here to look after us!
She has made full risk assessment of the shrubs and foliage that we take for granted, and has decided that Yew hedges pose a clear and present danger to our existence.
That at least is what Nanny's trolls in Avonmouth Council have decided.
Yew hedges growing near a city play area have been ripped up, because the council decided that they could poison a child.
Earth, if eaten in sufficiently large quantities can also be poisonous; would they have that removed from the planet as well?
The hedges were planted around Blaise Castle's new cafe and play area, which opened in May last year. I would note that the cost of planting was around £5K.
However, they were removed because Nanny's braindead jobsworths have received a complaint from a busybody parent who claimed that the needles from the hedges were poisonous and should not be allowed close to a children's play area.
Proof, if ever it were needed, that some people should not be allowed to have children.
Council workers have now ripped up the Yews in the "danger area". The irony is that there are other areas where this most dangerous of plants is still allowed to grow.
Nanny's trolls in the council now admit that the hedges are more likely to be a danger to cows and horses than humans, but decided ripping them out was the "safest" thing to do after the complaints.
One resident, Mrs Santry,vented her spleen at the council saying:
"How absolutely ludicrous when there are fully grown yew trees all around the estate,
not to mention belladonna also known as deadly nightshade, in the woods,
poisonous fungi in the autumn,
City council spokeswoman Kate Hartas said:
"Yew is poisonous but it also tastes foul, so it would take a very determined person to eat enough to hurt themselves.
Nevertheless, the council decided that,
as the cafe is very close to the children's play park,
the safest thing would be to remove it."
Nanny is speaking with forked tongue; it is not about safety at all, it is in fact about making us totally reliant on her so that we will not even be able to wipe our backsides without her assistance.
Life is all about learning to cope with risk and disaster, by trying to eliminate risk (which is of course impossible) Nanny is ensuring that future generations will grow up without the necessary survival instincts and skills for living a full and rewarding life.
Do yourselves a favour this coming May and stick two fingers up at your local council and Nanny, by voting for the candidates who totally reject the Nanny state.
If you live in Croydon, or know someone who does, then vote CRACC.