Saturday, October 27, 2007
On Yer Bike
Errrmmm...normally I don't reproduce articles verbatim. However, in this case I would like to present you with the exact story as it appeared in the Telegraph; it's so absurd that I know you wouldn't believe it, unless I reprinted it in full.
Here is the text:
A man has been placed on the sex offenders' register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle.
On Wednesday Mr Stewart admitted to sexual breach of the peace in Ayr Sheriff Court, where depute fiscal Gail Davidson described how he had been found by the hostel workers.
She said: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.
"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down.
"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
Both witnesses, who were extremely shocked, notified the hotel manager, who in turn alerted the police.
Mr Stewart was placed on the sex offenders' register but his sentence was deferred until next month.
He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however.
Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993.
End of article.
This now leaves me to raise the following questions:
1 How do you have sex with a bicycle?
2 Why has Nanny prosecuted this man? He was in a room, doing it in private and not frightening the horses.
3 Has it come to this that Nanny will regulate what type of sex that we may have?