Nanny Knows Best

Nanny Knows Best
Dedicated to exposing, and resisting, the all pervasive nanny state that is corroding the way of life and the freedom of the people of Britain.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A Nation of Fat Bastards

Fat BastardIt is official!

Nanny has decreed that, unless something is done, we will become a nation of fat bastards by 2050.

In the largest ever UK study into obesity, backed by Nanny and compiled by 250 "experts", it was concluded that excess weight is now the norm in our "obesogenic" society.

Odd...have these people never read any womens' magazines, or gone to any fashion shows, which feature only skinny waifs?

Anyhoo, since it is a Nanny report we can only assume that it must be 100% factually correct.

The good news is that individuals can no longer be held responsible for obesity.

Great, so it's not our fault!

Isn't that marvellous?

Maybe not, for you see if we are not responsible for our actions (such a lame excuse, and so readily used by Nanny) then Nanny must do something to "help" us; ie she will enforce thinness.

The report concludes that "dramatic and comprehensive action" is required to stop the majority of us becoming obese by 2050. what precisely will be the nature of this "dramatic and comprehensive" action?

The report doesn't say, in fact it goes on to say that there is "scant proof" that any anti-obesity policy works.

However, let us not worry about facts or failed policies. The report is clear in that "every level of society, from individual to the upper echelons of government, must become involved in the campaign against a condition which carries such great social and economic consequences".

The new age Nazis are on the march, this time it is not the Jews that will be frogmarched off to the camps but those deemed to be "obese".

Pass the sick bag, these zealots make me puke!

Sir David King, the government's chief scientific advisor and head of the Foresight Programme which drew up the report, said:

"There is a danger that the moment to act

radically and dramatically will be missed.

It is a problem that is getting worse every year

The irony being that the reason, according to the report, that we are all so fat is that we now live in a society that has abundant energy-dense, cheap foods, labour-saving devices, motorised transport and sedentary work.

Now call me stupid, but isn't that something worth celebrating?

Mankind for millennia has struggled with famine, diseases related to malnutrition, and backbreaking work that sent us all to an early grave by the time we hit 35-40.

Now, at least in the West, we live "farking well"; way beyond the dreams of our ancestors.

Would Nanny rather we went back to the days of malnutrition, and working 7 days a week in fields just to harvest a few mouldy spuds???

You know, I think she would.

The reason that we are fat is because we have a genetic inheritance that stores calories in times of plenty. There are really only two ways to keep trim; eat less, exercise more.

People know that, but really dislike being bullied to do so. The more Nanny shrieks at the top of her annoyingly shrill voice that we are fat, the less likely it is that anyone will take notice.

Sir David ignores this truism, and said that "it was clear" that Nanny needs to involve herself.


Nanny's Public Health Minister, Dawn Primarolo, is going to hold further consultations to decide how to proceed.

Be prepared for fat taxes...totally unworkable...but of course Nanny would feel that she was doing something.

I warn you again, we will all end up being frogmarched off to "fat camps".


  1. Will we ever rid ourselves of these fatheads? Fat chance!

  2. I suspect in keeping with Nanny's usual tactics, she will put a tax on unhealthy foods.....for our own good of course!!...Kerching.

    Of course, we won't live any longer if we follow all of Nanny's healthy rules....It will just seem like it due to severe boredom.

  3. As the chances of me being alive (especially if I become a little rotund) by 2050 as very, err, slim, can get an exemption from the torrent of BS about this?

    (Isn't it strnage how 2050 seems to have become the year when everything goes tits up? AGW, oil supply, global population - you name it, 2050 is the year that it is measured against.)

    On the other hand I predict a solution will appear of its own volition.

    Given the evidence of unclean hospitals it seems self-evident that such standards will filter down into other areas including the food chain. I once lost almost a stone in 4 days due to some sort of health bug - flu like symptoms. It's a rather extreme way to lose weight but very effective in the short term. Such things seem to be spreading given the concern about listeria and the like.

    The other long term fix is to introduce tape worms on the NHS. Much better than stomach stapling and probably safer. Very natural and holistic I would have thought.

    Of course it may happen anyway without any government intervention if current practices continue.

    I few minutes ago as I started to write this a Spitfire aeroplane flew past my house. Thinking back to the way things must have been in the 1930s and 1940s and all the heroics that went into the Battle of Britain I suddenly wondered if it was all worth it.

    All that effort just to get to where we are, politically, today. Sigh.

  4. chris Edwards1:22 PM

    You lucky b'stard a Spitfire, good reminder of the last nazis that tried to inflict a diet on us! Yes this is a tax McDonalds moment, a quid a burger will pay for a lot of help for the poor mis-understood muslems.

  5. grumpy2:25 PM

    Ken said,
    "...these zealots make me puke..." and, thus, supplies the answer to the problem: keep reading about all Nanny's latest scares; keep throwing up; lose weight and Bingo! problem solved.

  6. Anonymous3:46 PM

    Well said Ken...

    The only "logical" solution Nanny will come up with, with this "problem" will be to tax fatty foods!
    Just like taxing fags, will stop people smoking! That's worked!
    Tax booze, to stop people drinking! That's defiantly worked!
    Tax petrol to stop people driving! Never seen the M25 so clear!
    Tax transport, to stop people travelling! Never seen the tubes & trains, working so efficiently!
    Tax our wages, to put us off working! Like the bastards do to my wage packet, every month & I’m starting to think, is it all worth it!
    Tax our bins, to put us off using them so much! Of course! How clever!



    (Steve, North London)

  7. It aint never going to happen, can’t you see what is happening, they are issuing the equivalent of white noise, Gordon is losing, so lets drown the media with fake reports, drink yesterday, credit cards and fat today, it will be betting in a couple of days, STR’s you name it all of it bullshit and nanny knows it, but she has managed to grab the news agenda, and kept Gordon from the spot light

  8. Chris Edwards:

    I see (and hear) the Spitfire often. It's based at the airport next to which I live. We get some great reminders of that type in the course of a year.


    Good point!


    Not sure about the tax but it looks like they have managed to coerce the removal of transfats from food.

    Now I'm no great fan of transfats as I understand them but then neither do I fear them. Presumably they were developed and introduced for cost effectiveness and, I seem to recall, longevity. Things store better and keep longer.

    Remove those factors and you get higher priced food that stores less well for shorter periods of time. Therefore wastage is likely to increase and that at a time when we are being told that much of the food we buy (and therefore the food miles, etc., etc.) is being thrown away anyway!

    Mixed massages yet again.

    I doubt the food industry cares how much is wasted. Higher prices and higher consumption, whether or not actually consumed, must create profit potential. All based on the excuse that there is nothing they can do about it since the government insists that these changes are introduced. And so on ...


    You may well be right and these things will not get out of the door - the front door at least. But is anyone watching the back door?

  9. Simon The Horrible2:13 AM

    Nanny wants to bring back the Glory Days of rationing!

    Everyone was thin, back then!

  10. "Would Nanny rather we went back to the days of malnutrition, and working 7 days a week in fields just to harvest a few mouldy spuds???"
    Do you think they are softening us up for when the oil runs out?