It is official!
Nanny has decreed that, unless something is done, we will become a nation of fat bastards by 2050.
In the largest ever UK study into obesity, backed by Nanny and compiled by 250 "experts", it was concluded that excess weight is now the norm in our "obesogenic" society.
Odd...have these people never read any womens' magazines, or gone to any fashion shows, which feature only skinny waifs?
Anyhoo, since it is a Nanny report we can only assume that it must be 100% factually correct.
The good news is that individuals can no longer be held responsible for obesity.
Great, so it's not our fault!
Isn't that marvellous?
Maybe not, for you see if we are not responsible for our actions (such a lame excuse, and so readily used by Nanny) then Nanny must do something to "help" us; ie she will enforce thinness.
The report concludes that "dramatic and comprehensive action" is required to stop the majority of us becoming obese by 2050.
Errrmm...so what precisely will be the nature of this "dramatic and comprehensive" action?
The report doesn't say, in fact it goes on to say that there is "scant proof" that any anti-obesity policy works.
However, let us not worry about facts or failed policies. The report is clear in that "every level of society, from individual to the upper echelons of government, must become involved in the campaign against a condition which carries such great social and economic consequences".
The new age Nazis are on the march, this time it is not the Jews that will be frogmarched off to the camps but those deemed to be "obese".
Pass the sick bag, these zealots make me puke!
Sir David King, the government's chief scientific advisor and head of the Foresight Programme which drew up the report, said:
"There is a danger that the moment to act
radically and dramatically will be missed.
It is a problem that is getting worse every year."
The irony being that the reason, according to the report, that we are all so fat is that we now live in a society that has abundant energy-dense, cheap foods, labour-saving devices, motorised transport and sedentary work.
Now call me stupid, but isn't that something worth celebrating?
Mankind for millennia has struggled with famine, diseases related to malnutrition, and backbreaking work that sent us all to an early grave by the time we hit 35-40.
Now, at least in the West, we live "farking well"; way beyond the dreams of our ancestors.
Would Nanny rather we went back to the days of malnutrition, and working 7 days a week in fields just to harvest a few mouldy spuds???
You know, I think she would.
The reason that we are fat is because we have a genetic inheritance that stores calories in times of plenty. There are really only two ways to keep trim; eat less, exercise more.
People know that, but really dislike being bullied to do so. The more Nanny shrieks at the top of her annoyingly shrill voice that we are fat, the less likely it is that anyone will take notice.
Sir David ignores this truism, and said that "it was clear" that Nanny needs to involve herself.
Nanny's Public Health Minister, Dawn Primarolo, is going to hold further consultations to decide how to proceed.
Be prepared for fat taxes...totally unworkable...but of course Nanny would feel that she was doing something.
I warn you again, we will all end up being frogmarched off to "fat camps".