Do you find that Christmas with the relatives, trapped at home, staring at lousy TV Christmas "specials" is more than mind and body can tolerate?
Then may I suggest you download my book "Accountants Can Cook"?
I have spent the first forty years of my life eating good food and drinking fine wines, ales and spirits; I fully intend to continue in the same vein over the next forty, or so, years. However, when I do finally "pop my clogs" I would like to be made into a pate which would be served at my wake. That way my friends will be able to relive the culinary experiences of my life. Should you not wish to wait that long, then may I suggest that you read on.
That is the opening paragraph of my book, "Accountants can Cook"; which takes you on a journey, both geographic and gastric, through the first forty years of my life. See me grow up from schoolboy to student, then on to become Head of Internal Audit for two of the world's best known companies.
Eat my life!
Download "Accountants Can Cook", it's free!
I order you to read it!
Have it large this Christmas.
Ken
Ken wrote:
ReplyDelete"I have spent the first forty years of my life eating good food and drinking fine wines, ales and spirits; "
Whilst I applaud the spirit of the claim I fear it may be a little, shall we say, foolhardy to make such a public statement in these well monitored times.
It is unclear just how far the authorities are prepared to dig into the past with forensic evidence as science appears to 'improve' the ability 'discover' connections using DNA samples and the like. Forty years might be a soon to be attained objective for solving cold crimes.
But to openly admit that, from babyhood and infancy, ones parents had provided the means for you to become addicted to food and alcohol may be rash. Extremely rash.
I can, even as I type, foresee the Food Alcohol and Thought Control Operations Politburo (FATCOP for future reference) mounting an armed raid on the family homes and arresting any members of the family who remember you as a child.
For this reason alone I think you should publish an apology forthwith in an attempt to head off any unfortunate (terror campaigns - sorry, correction) correctional visits from FATCOP, especially over this formerly festive period. There would be a secondary benefit to the nation at this time since any work they are asked to do around the time of public celebration and bank holidays or weekends attracts double, sometime triple, rate overtime.
Have a Merely Christmas.
Signed,
Your Official Conscience.
Have it large?
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a raver...
...I like it.